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An Open Letter to Male Virgins

Despite what society says, our identity does not rely on our sexual status.
An Open Letter to Male Virgins
Dark_Angel_ATH / Flickr

A few years ago, a man who identified himself as a 20-something college virgin contacted me through OK Cupid and asked if I would help him lose his virginity. Unfortunately for him, his chosen "experienced, older woman" had written a memoir of reluctant chastity.

I almost replied. I wanted to challenge his view of virginity and encourage him to think of what he could gain through a season of unwanted celibacy.

I've thought about that unwritten email again, ever since the news that Elliot Rodger gunned down six people and injured 13 others near Santa Barbara, California, in a shooting spree he attributed to the frequent rejection that left him a virgin at 22.

What do you tell the male virgin in a sexed-up 21st-century "bro culture"? Is there anything an older sister of sorts could say to encourage men frustrated by their unwanted celibacy? Here's my attempt.

To the male virgins out there:

I suspect you feel a lot of shame about the term "virgin." ...

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