I can't imagine the loss of a child and I don't want to. Whether the child has been born yet or not is immaterial. The loss is still a total loss, a future and a hope snuffed out before time. I grieve for those families who have experienced this. As for our Christian response, doesn't Romans 12:15 tell us to weep with those who weep?

The loss of miscarriage is real and painful. I've been there. But if we want to talk about ethical/theological inconsistency: If life really begins at conception, we should also be working through the issue that 50% of pregnancies do not make it to term, with many women/couples not even being aware they were ever pregnant? Should we be mourning all of those deaths, even if unknown? Do all those embryos go to heaven? Or maybe there actually is some progression of life from fertilization through viability?

Thank you so much for this post. My husband and I miscarried October 2012 - our first child - after trying to get pregnant for two years. Like you, I'm sure I said something hurtful (without intending to cause pain, of course) to a miscarriage mama, but now that I've been there, I see the loss for what it is: earth shattering. Important. Deeply wounding. Difficult to heal from emotionally. Etc. I understood those things on an intellectual level before, but walking through that grief has truly opened my eyes to not just the pain for the parents, but to the insensitivity and mysterious lack of importance that many in the church seem to lend to miscarriages. Today I blogged my thoughts on your fantastic article (http://thejinglejangle.blogspot.com), linking up to this entry and asking my friends/readers for a healthy dialogue on the topic. I hope that deeper understanding and kinder words are brought about from it. Thank you again for your thought-provoking, important, timely article!

Thank you so much for this post. My husband and I miscarried October 2012 - our first child - after trying to get pregnant for two years. Like you, I'm sure I said something hurtful (without intending to cause pain, of course) to a miscarriage mama, but now that I've been there, I see the loss for what it is: earth shattering. Important. Deeply wounding. Difficult to heal from emotionally. Etc. I understood those things on an intellectual level before, but walking through that grief has truly opened my eyes to not just the pain for the parents, but to the insensitivity and mysterious lack of importance that many in the church seem to lend to miscarriages. Today I blogged my thoughts on your fantastic article, linking up to this site. Hopefully a better dialogue is started and responses are kinder. http://thejinglejangle.blogspot.com/2013/01/on-grieving-miscarriag e-as-christians.html Thank you again for your thought-provoking, important, timely article!

I feel all across the board people need to realize the hurt families have after miscarriages and not criticize those women who are grieving the loss of their unborn. Their pain is real.