My mother is a server.. And I tip the way she has taught me..based on the service.. If the service is great, I tip 15-20% but if its terrible, I don't tip them.. As they don't deserve it. For example just this weekend we ate out, and 3 of the order were messed up and 10 minutes later than everyone else's.. Then at the end she messed up our bills 5 times.. Even though we clearly told her who had what.. She just had no interest in listening to us..so I didn't tip her.. As she did a terrible job. Every now and then if the server is doing a great job, and I feel God prompt it, I'll give a 100% tip.. But that's not every week!!

I know it's a little late to weigh in, but I would like to point out that most sit-down restaurants now fall under the IRS mandate to report a minimum of 10% of their gross reciepts as tips, that's whether a tip was given or not. That 10% (but it may have increased in recent years) is proportionately divided between the appropriate staff based on hours worked, reported on W2s as income, and then the wait staff has to pay taxes on it. I did taxes a few years ago and had the unpleasant task of telling a young woman that she wasn't getting a refund, she OWED taxes because she had to pay ALL TAX CATEGORIES on her tips, and that exceeded what she'd already paid in each paycheck. For some, that may put a little different spin on how you decide to tip or not.

I regularly tip between 15 and 20% - my wife, however, who has been a server does not like to tip for poor service so we regularly have a discussion of how much to leave. I think part of the issue is the question of who has arbitrarily set the rates. Yes, taxes have increased - cost of living has increased... so have the tabs on which we figure the expected tips, first 10, now 15, soon to be 18, and shortly after 20%.

I don't like the idea of a tip being expected. I think a tip should be given for service rendered. If the service is poor or mediocre then I believe it should be acceptable to leave no tip.

Everyone get off your righteousnesss horse. Christians don't tip because they think food service workers are sinners, hey, if they really followed Christ, they'd be rich, right? The contempt that Christians have for HARD WORKING AMERICANS is disgusting. If you can't tip decently, just stay home. Capeesh?

Tipping is now a theological debate?? Not in any terms: it is a cultural one. There are lots of cultures where tipping is not done, and even rude! I love to eat out with my friends, or even alone, and I rarely tip. That doesn't mean I love God or others less. There are lots of reasons to not tip, and I'd like to tip because I want to, not because it's expected of me.

OK, my motor is running. Had coffee with a minister one day and he left a Gosple tract in place of a tip, so I stuck a couple of dollars in it and told him they might read it now. As far as the "after church" crowd is concerned, don't hide behind your sanctimony because your witness is more important than you treasure. if you guys read your Bibles, you'd see that our attitude about money is God's spiritual thermometer. More verses address money than refer to Heaven, count'em!

For years I hadn't the cash to be a good tipper. Now I leave at least a 20% tip inside a Gospel tract if I happen to have one handy. When I see somebody working their tail off to make a living, I'm inspired to give something extra, in light of so may free loaders whining about their sorry lives while they wait for the government cheese truck to stop by and drop off a freebie !! Stop cutting bait and start fishing..............or put your money where your mouth is ! I feel a preach coming on, so I best stop while we're all ahead.

Brandy Barrientos, if we Christians start talking about insisting on our rights, I think EVERYTHING has gone out the window. Blessings, Tim (timfall.wordpress.com)

@Brandy, @William One of the responses to the original Alois Bell story that I read was from a couple who described a recent experience when they were at a restaurant and their server was terrible -- clearly she was distracted about something, and she made errors with their order, etc. Instead of leaving a very small tip or nothing at all, this couple left a $20 tip on their $15 bill with a note that said something like "It seems you're having a bad day, hopefully this will help a little." The server caught up to them as they were in the parking lot and told them how she had recently experienced a tragedy in her family but couldn't afford not to work. Their action had made a world of difference to her. How should we, as Christians respond? I think what this couple did sounds a lot like what Jesus would do.

I really just have a question about all of this. If your service is particularly bad, are you still supposed to tip 10, 18, or even 20% just because you are a Christian? What about customer rights or does that go out the window because we are Christians? Any thoughts?

As a christian who waited tables years ago, it was well known that the after church crowd was the worst tippers. I think it may be that some Christians tithe, but they are not taught to be giving in all areas of their life. Christians will spend so much money going out to eat, but then have excuses to not pay 10% more. It's an excuse to not tip for imperfect service. Does anyone do their job perfectly. If a server has to take your order, keep your drinks filled, bring your food, clear your plates, then clean up after all your mess...a tip is deserved. Even if some places are minimum wage, we all know that is a struggle to pay bills. If 'Church-Goers' have the money to go out to eat, they have the money to tip....no excuses to be greedy. Most of us Christians by name or 'Church-Goers' spend hundreds a month to entertain ourselves with cell phones and cable and going to restaurants Sunday after church and then we can't leave a few dollars?

I agree with most of this article. My husband and I tip generously, and I think of it as blessing the server. I would like to comment on the turning over of the wine glasses. It quite likely was not meant as an offense, but a time saver. As at a banquet, coffee cups are usually placed at each setting upside down, and you indicate your desire for coffee for turning them up, I believe these folks were just saying there would be no need for these glasses. Also, an empty wine glass is easy to tip over, and they may have just not wanted to have to deal with falling glasses.

In my state (Montana) wait staff make minimum wage -- the same as people who work at McDonald's or Walmart without tips. So while tipping is still expected, it isn't making up part of what the employer should be paying. Waitressing is actually one of the higher paying jobs in our area, mostly due to tips. I understand that doesn't change a lot of the arguments in the article, but people need to be aware that not ALL waitresses are working for $2 per hour.

The writer assumes throughout that not tipping is merely and always a sign of meanness. Yet she also writes that "the minimum wage for servers is lower than for everyone else, ... Tips aren't donations. Tips are payment for services rendered." In other words, by giving a tip we are subsidising the employers who are too mean to pay proper wages to their staff. If tips are "payment for services rendered", then that really blatantly states the point: they are no longer a sign or expression of a generous impulse but make up part of the worker's wages. In real life, I would give a tip if I thought the waiter/ress had been particularly helpful or friendly; if not, not.

Certainly it is disturbing to consider the large number of hypocritical Christians that exist. But I think the greater question should be, "How should I respond?" True, Jesus responded to the Pharisees with intense criticism. But it should be noted that He did not reject Judaism. Jesus spoke highly of the Law and the prophets. He believed in the inspiration of the scriptures. He quoted scripture. The Pharisees also believed these things. Likewise, Christians should not view the existence of hypocrites as evidence that the basic faith is somehow flawed. The Old and New Testament scriptures are still true. Human beings are flawed, sinful. Hypocrisy will always exist. Religion brings it out. How does the God of the Bible, who knows that I am but dust, want me to respond?

Maybe Christians don't belong at restaurants on Sunday. Surely a people who are supposed not even to ask our donkeys to work on the sabbath shouldn't be asking college students and immigrants to work. And yet I recall attempting to invite church members home for a simple soup and salad lunch instead. "Oh," they said, "we wouldn't want to put you to all that work." The church members who suggested that their wait staff couldn't be Christian because they were working should ask themselves: what were they doing asking anyone to wait on them on Sunday??

I am a generous giver. In my mindset today; if I left my purse and sweatshirt there, it would not surprise me.

I tip 20% as a rule, only less if there is exceedingly poor service that deserves gentle correction.

It's exciting to see Christians embrace justice issues like human trafficking - but the unjust system of restaurant worker compensation is right in our faces. Workers are being unjustly treated and unfairly paid. Where are the Christians fighting for better working conditions for waitresses?

It bears noting that not all of the 'after-church' crowd is necessarily made up of Christians. Maybe the question is more directly put, 'why are so many church-goers bad tippers?' This might open up another sector of dialogue that might be more helpful. You could address believers who need to grow in maturity, and you could address non-believers who attend church like they would attend a country club (as merely a cultural institution). That said, I'm hope this conversation spreads beyond generous tippers. p.s. -- The non sequitur jab at Obama was a bit disappointing. I would be curious whether reflection on Romans 13 and I Timothy 2:1-2 (emphasis on thanksgiving) would alter the tone.

Good grief.... I try always to leave a generous tip. I had the "pleasure" of working in the "food service/hospitality" business just long enough to know that these jobs are grueling, tiring, frustrating, hard and demeaning. Waiters and waitresses have to put up with an unimaginably high level of garbage from customers. A truly excellent waiter/waitress is a joy to behold in action. Leave a decent tip: 20%, round it up too. Pastor Paul T. McCain

I am very disappointed at what happened. Now there is one more generalization that people can use to attack Christians. Personally, I tip roughly 20%. Sometimes the servers would learn that I am a Christian, I work at a church or I went to a Bible college through conversations, in these cases, I purposely try to tip well , because the Christian reputation is on the line, the amount will be evaluated on. Having said that, I stay at about 20%. I am a professing Evangelical Christian.

There is no study or it would have been cited. The title could have been "Why are Christians such good tippers?" and just as much anecdotal evidence could have been presented. The straw man argument is still one of the most effective in the book. Obama uses it all the time.

You never answered the question about why Christians are such bad tippers. But you did confirm what virtually anyone who works in a chain restaurant knows -- many Christians are not only cheap, but in their practice of leaving a tract instead of a proper tip they are clueless, smug, sanctimonious and even unethical in expecting others to subsidize their own failure to provide a proper tip. But you did make a false comparison. In studies about charitable giving, it seems dishonest to me to compare true humanitarian giving to giving money to a church. Giving to a church is merely supporting your own religious (or political) agenda; it often has nothing to do with actually helping anyone. Let's not compare, say, a Mormon tithing 10% to a church that uses that money to oppose the civil rights of gay Americans to a legitimate donation to a humanitarian organization like Unicef or the American Cancer Society.

Perhaps Christians are so performance oriented that they forget the importance of offering grace. They may view the less-than-perfect waiter or waitress as undeserving. The truth is, God saves by grace, and we're all undeserving. Therefore, since Christians have been shown grace by God, they should show grace to service staff by giving at least a 15% tip. If the server is exceptional, then up the percentage.

Xians are definitively poor tippers and as a Xian, I've seen this first-hand for over 30 years (13 as a believer). Too many tip based on what a server looks like instead of the service provided because they see a lip ring or a similar thing and automatically look with disdain instead of love.

This writer is 100% correct. Both of my daughters worked in fast food and a local pizza place. They both dislike a certain segment of the body of Christ due to the fact that they did all the things listed in the article. They left small tips or no tips, got salads off the salad bar without paying, used one glass for several people to drink and kept getting refills. They would come in after church on Wednesdays and Sundays and stay until after closing. That made my daughters and the other employees have to be late in closing and cleaning up the place. They were students and needed to get home to get to sleep. The "church people" let their children run wild, sometimes getting hurt because the kids were unsupervised. They would say things to the employees that just blew my mind. My daughters told me things that were said to them that I know had to make Jesus cringe with shame.My daughters were told they were not Christians because they were working on Sunday. Those words hurt. WWJD.

You know,who has done a study of all Christians who attend the many restaurants in this country, to come to a conclusion that Christians are the worst tippers. That's crazy! In many restaurants, on many occasions, we don't get good service either & I know we can go on and on with that one. If we are a party of 6 or more, most restaurants charge automatic tip of 15-18-20%, it's locked in and the service or the care for our needs are terrible. Yes, we had to complain to Management at times. If we follow Paul's teaching about God loves a cheerful giver, that's our character and we'll carry it wherever we go. But, because one Christians' over-reaction on a tip situation (and she did apologize), does not mean everyone is like or think like that. My first job many, many years ago, I was a waitress & I thought I was a pretty good one & I didn't always get a tip, but the many times I did, I knew I provided good service and knew I was personable with the customers.

Actually, the percentage is not the same. The tithe is a tenth of your wages. The 18 percent is not based on your wages but the amount of your meal. Plus, that's how these waiters and waitresses make their money, which isn't a lot.

Robert Mayer, your imagination is so much bolder than mine. Here I was exhorting Christians to do the minimum at least, but what you suggest is so much more powerful. Imagine if in every restaurant and among all servers it was known that there is no better crowd to serve than the after-church crowd. Imagine if everyone knew that Christians were the BEST, not the worst, customers. Imagine what a powerful testimony would be given to so many people through one simple understanding and application of that understanding.

In response to Mr. Holmes, his assessment is partially correct in that restaurants, especially fast food restaurants, should properly pay their staff and display gratuities on the bill. But given that this will not happen soon, I do think that we as Christians should be the ones who tip generously, even beyond the expected 15 to 18 percent. A tip of 20 to 25 percent in my view demonstrates our belief that every human being no matter who they are, no matter where they work is a person created in the image of God. Those who serve in restaurants are often required to work on Sundays while many of us are at our 11:00 church services--what better witness could there be than a group of Christians coming into a local restaurant after church, treating the wait staff and others with genuine grace and concern (even when the service might be slow, and yes I have had to send food back because it was not properly prepared), and then expressing our generosity toward them through a generous tip.

I heard this proposition about Christians and our abysmal tipping tendencies many years ago. While there may be truth in this accusation, I remain befuddled as to why Christians tip less. Anecdotally, when I go out to brunch after church I often see a large number of elderly folk who are dressed like they just came from church. Could it be that a higher percentage of seniors on fixed incomes, who happen to be Christians, still tip like it is the 1950s? I’ve also heard (don’t hate me for what I’m about to say) that women tip less than men. We know that more women populate churches than men. Perhaps it is a gender thing. Here is my tip (Oh I crack me up): There may be other factors at work in this issue besides a connection to Christianity. At least I hope so. If being Christian somehow makes us stingy or less able to relate to people in the service industries . . . well, we are walking the path of the Pharisees who thought they were holy and were far from it. By the way, I’m pretty sure the lady who acted horrified at being given the option to order a drink containing alcohol is confusing moral superiority for holiness. Perhaps a little less focus on faux holiness and more emphasis on kindness would do us good. Read Proverbs 21:21 ESV.

Tipping is not a mandatory process, or at least it shouldn't be. You should tip to show the person they did their job well. I also think restaurants should quit that $2.15 an hour crap and raise their pay to at least minimum wage. I do leave tips, I think waiters deserve a good wage. I don't really feel obligated to tip, although I do pretty much 100% of the time. 15% is my standard. It's kind of funny that if 4 people go to a restaurant and spend $40.00 the waitress gets $5.00, but if the go to a nicer place and spend $80 the waitress gets $12 for essentially the same amount of work. As Christians we should learn to give, and not be greedy. We should tip generously.

Just had to weigh in. My husband and I have been married for 3 years -- and he noted right off the bat that I tend to tip more than he was used to seeing. He's a long-time evangelical and I come from a Catholic background. I soon noticed it too, when going out with friends after church. They'll bring a coupon, ask for extra chips/salsa to take home from the local mexican restaurant, refills in to-go cups for their drinks -- and leave a $1-2 tip for their family of four. And it just wasn't one family -- all the families in our group were doing it. I was slightly appalled.

As a server of 7 years and a Christian born again by the grace of God, this is the single most uncomfortable and painful issue for me to address. It literally makes me sick to my stomach. I truly believe that if followers of Jesus realized the impact their actions, and their tips, have on servers this simply wouldn't be an issue. It is far too often that tipping is seen as merely a business transaction instead of the highly personal issue it really is for those who are reliant upon it to provide for their families. As a server I fully expect to be tipped according to my service, most all servers understand this, BUT as a tipper generosity and grace always define my decision. I mean, what better set up do we ever have to display the gospel than to be kind where kindness is rare, patient where extreme impatience is the norm, and gracious even when it isn't deserved. If my Savior is willing to love me despite my performance than my life can certainly be characterized by grace.

D. Shoey, thank you for your honest post. I am wondering, however, how can you tell if the issue with your "poor" service is the fault of the server or the kitchen staff or the runners or something else? There are many factors involved you are ignoring. How is being a fairly well-paid flight attendant the same as being a server who depends on tips to make at least minimum wage? Yes, you both should britng your "A -game" all the time, but you get paid for that completely differently. Leaving a note or no tip at all is not the way to help somebody find their true calling once you have determined that you know best for them. A kindly spoken word of encouraging instruction will often go a long way. If that is too awkward, a comment to the manager that is not rude but clearly explains the issues will do. But your method does not help anyone, and seems to me to be rather cowardly and a poor witness of the generous, gracious, forgiving God that we adore and worship and want others to join us.

Wow...I come in with a different view of this, bear with me, As a Flight attendant for 15 years where I have to be on my "A" Game at ALL times and, ALSO having prior experience in the food industry I can say I have been on both sides of the coin. This being said... When you get a job in as a waiter, making $2.75 an hour you know full well what your getting into from day 1. You also know that your tips are based on YOUR SKILLS! (Better Service=BETTER TIPS.) Not everybody is created by God to be in the service Industry. We are not helping them find their calling by giving them a 15% tip, if they are Horrible. Sorry. Better to not feed the dragon at all, and let them quit. and go find there true calling! You all are going to hate me. But I ONLY tip for GOOD service. Good service GREAT TIP!! Like 30..40..50..60..% we even left a $40.00 tip at Olive Garden on a $60.00 bill because our service was amazing!! other days...$0....and maybe even a note on the back of the bill.

I enjoy visiting Bethel Church in Redding California, which is a relatively small town of 90,000. Bethel is a mega church and makes a big impact in the town. The pastor, Bill Johnson, pleads with out of state visitors, please tip generously in my town. If anything, servers should be excited when Christians come through the door. There is nothing more thrilling than making someone's day, being an answer to prayer because you have the ability to give sacrificially. To me it is not an issue of justice (they should get a living wage) but an issue of lavish grace, touching the heart of the Father.

Thanks for this wonderful article! There does seem to be a lot of ignorance out there about exactly how servers make their living. There are some states (I believe 6 or 7) where servers make minimum wage, but in most stages the federally-set "tipped minimum wage" (for those who work for gratuities) is specifically designed under the assumption that **that is how they make their living.** This is how the system works, and those who object to it should take it up with Congress. And until the system changes, either tip or don't patronize restaurants where you are directly responsible for deciding someone else's income.

John Holmes - Thanks for your comment. Here in Australia tipping is not the norm BECAUSE we pay our workers a living wage. In other words, "the tip" is already reflected in proper wages being paid and, of course, in the prices charged. And this, to me, is the real issue. The workers should be paid a proper wage.

Speaking as a citizen from another first world nation that does not encourage tipping, I find it totally offensive to be expected to tip. I expect an accurate bill for the services rendered. Included in that bill should be sufficient to pay the staff a fair and living wage. Perhaps the concept of egalitarianism is not so well established in the USA. The concept of expressing gratitude for the service - so if you do not give good service the management goes broke, that is a management not employee issue. However, I also note that the USA does not pay its hospitality staff very well. What is with you folks, not to pay the poor a living wage? Also we have a GST - tax on transactions. In the USA how does tipping get included in such taxes, and how is the tax payable by staff calculated. Legal tax minimization is a political debate the rules set, tax evasion is theft from your fellow citizens which is the inference re the discussion above by those who avoid tipping.

Jim Sparks, all servers make less than minimum wage BECAUSE they also receive tips. It's been a loong time since I was a server, but my wage was two dollars and some change per hour. I got tips, but the tips were shared with the people who bussed the tables. Back in my day a common tip was fifty cents to a dollar - there was no 15%. When I waitressed the bar on Wednesday nights, customers would throw their change at the stage where 2 guys dressed in plaid shorts and beer t-shirts sang theme songs from sitcoms. At the end of the night when the guys broke down the stage they'd divvy out the change to the wait staff. Being wait staff is hard. Some nights a lot of money can be earned, but most of the time, not so much. It may be that wait staff will earn more hourly wages, but until that happens, those of us who are recipients of their service can tip them at least 15%, if not more.

Of course, there is another theological point here. Perhaps Christians should insist that restaurant owners should pay their workers are "real wage" instead of the slave wages that are paid, so that the workers don't have to depend upon tips to make a living. A related article says that the waitress that was fired (who was not the waitress who served) is paid a base wage of only $3.50 per hour. This is criminal. If "a worker is worthy of their hire", then the owners of restaurants have the obligation to pay them what they are worth. Yes, this will lead to hire meal prices (so what!) but if you "tip 15%" you are paying higher prices anyway.

As someone (a known Christian) who got to listen to the complaints of the wait staff (fountain nerd at Steak 'n Shake) back in the late '70s, I can't count the number of times I was asked to justify the behavior of my fellow saints (leaving tracts, leaving only pennies, no tip...). Since then I've followed a simple principle: If my head goes down, the tip goes up. (Which doesn't mean that I tip less when I don't obviously pray first, but if I do you can be sure the tip will be at least 20%.)

Tim, thanks for the mention of the New Covenant. So many believers are confused about grace, generosity, money, etc. because they still live in Old Covenant ways totally unaware of the new heart, new nature, new disposition, new power, new identity, new indwelling by God Himself through the Holy Spirit, and a hundred other provisions of the New Covenant. God bless.

Marshall Shelley, I'd say the decision not to tithe shouldn't be based on whether you are supporting a child in a Christian college, but on the fact that tithing is not a New Covenant concept (I wrote about it yesterday, as a matter of fact). The same thing applies to the secular/sacred false dichotomy. In the New Covenant the Holy Spirit indwells God's people. For us, there is no divide between our sacred and secular lives, possessions, ideas or activities because under the New Covenant the Holy Spirit is in us and with us and by us, etc., at all moments and in all places and through all activities. Cheers, Tim (timfall.wordpress.com)

Great article. I don't know where believers came up with the crazy idea that being "cheap" is a Christian virtue. It's NOT. It is just plain selfish and stingy. I think you are on to something with your theology angle. Our generosity should extend beyond just giving to tax-deductible churches and charities. I once paid full price for a refrigerator from a local appliance store because the salesman did a good job of explaining things and even though he was a stranger to me, I wanted him to get the commission on the sale. I knew I could get it cheaper at a big box store, but after he helped me make a good choice of model, he should get paid. Can I encourage you? Let your generosity and grace show up in all areas of life. I am not a prosperity gospel proponent, but I believe God has blessed our feeble attempts at generosity a jillion times over. jaylehman.com

I too waited tables at a restaurant, in the 70's. Many of my fellow servers were students at either of two Christian colleges nearby. We all had the same experience of Christian patrons as described in this article, and that view was reinforced weekly. I vividly remember one time when I had closed a section of the restaurant (it being near closing, and volume was light) when 32 adults came in, after a Christian concert at one of the two schools. We re-opened the just-closed section, and they had a merry time, including telling me (a fellow believer) about the concert. At the end (almost 2 hours!) -- a $2 tip for a bill well over $120. Oh, and a gospel tract, too! So since then, I have always tipped waitstaff, taxi drivers, etc. well over 20%, often more than 35%, especially if I have had occasion to bear witness of Jesus Christ to them! As for the giving vs tipping disparity, maybe it's taxes: giving is deductible, tipping is not!

Nicely said. This is a topic that's near and dear to me. I'm a pastor now, but in college I was a server, and I've addressed this from the pulpit. Followers of Jesus should be the most generous tippers and kind customers a server encounters. Cheapness demonstrates a constricted, fearful heart, perhaps stained by greed, covetousness, and pride. Rudeness and self-righteousness demonstrate a loveless heart. The Jesus I encounter in scripture possesses none of those traits, and as His followers, neither should we. When we're cheap and rude, and people find out we're followers of Jesus, we bring reproach on His name. We need to remind ourselves that God provides for us so we can be generous, and that generosity brings thanksgiving to Him. (2 Corinthians 9:11). When we're generous and kind to servers, from hearts filled with the love of God, Jesus will be irresistible to them, not when we stick a quarter and a tract on the table.

"Gnosticism is a dualistic worldview that separates the secular and the sacred." Yeah, I think you hit the nail on the head here as a root problem. Maybe it's because I live in the Northeast, but Christians here are generally NOT afraid of alcohol. Pastors tend to enjoy some top-notch ales at pubs after Presbyteries, and I know a good amount of pastors here that brew their own beer or make their own wine. Maybe it's just a different culture. My husband and I have both worked in tipping-type-jobs in the past. We are very conscientious about tipping, even the baristas at Starbucks who don't "depend" on tips (but I was a Sbux barista and it makes a huge difference!). Tip, Christians! Tip! (evenonesparrow.blogspot.com)

Yes, sometimes Christians do dumb things and leave meager tips forgetting how hard restaurant servers work. You are right-on shedding light on this issue. If you can't afford to tip, then stay home and cook your own food. Otherwise, always, always leave a generous tip for good service, especially when leaving a gospel tract. I have even heard of pastors asking servers if they can pray for them as well. A nice touch.

How about letting the waiter/waitress know before ordering that you are Christian and tip 30 percent? How about a sequel to Karen's article: Why are non-Christians [or women, elderly, men, whites, blacks, atheists, Hispanics, Baptists, Lutherans, Mormons and so on] such bad tippers? In regard to Gnostic effects, I thought there hardly is any difference between the worldly and the churched in how they "spend money on earthly pleasures."

Marshall Shelley, interesting point. What if we get rid of the Secular/Sacred idea and assume that all our spending is sacred?

Okay, I'm all for generous tips, and nobody wants to be called a Gnostic, but I just want to clarify this whole "there's no sacred/secular divide" concept. If that's true, how do you consecrate/dedicate anything to the Lord when there's no difference beween sacred/secular? Or, to get really specific, why give any money to the church when everything I spend money on is just as sacred as anything else? I buy clothes for my kids for the glory of God--so I don't need to give to missions? I've currently got a chld in a Christian college to better prepare him for a lifetime of service to the Lord. Therefore, I don't need to tithe to the church because I've given a whole lot more than 10 percent of my income to the college for my son's education. Right? Isn't that where the obliterating of sacred/secular takes us? Sounds like half a truth to me.

I'm not sure I agree that Christians are worse tippers than others. People who dine in large groups tend to tip less so that's probably part of the problem with the Sunday afternoon crowd. Also, the elderly can be poor tippers.I think someone isn being a bit oversensitive regarding the upside down wine glass. I sometimes do the same thing with my coffee cup. (and I love coffee) But since the perception is that we tip badly, we should all make sure we don't add to it.

We almost always tip 15-20% for routine service. The hardest thing for me is to give over and above that for poor service (and hopefully, while not acting like a mean fool before then). We then leave a card with "Something Extra to Let You know God loves you" with the tip - but only if the tip is 50% or more (and hopefully 100%) of the bill. But, I'd never consider 15-20% something worthy of showing it to be something special. We've even had waitresses come out of the restaurant and ask if we really meant to leave that much. It is theological in us showing grace and mercy to someone who doesn't deserve it, but who maybe can see love in the flesh and maybe God can truly start to do something in them.

Great article! As a pastor I've often cringed (but not all the time) when eating out with church members and seeing their small tips. And I get interesting reactions from parishioners when I "add" to their tip. It's especially embarrassing after a church meeting in a restaurant or when much of our conversation revolves around church - to have low tips. So the gnosticism teaching was helpful. But also I think a low tips is also simply lack of respect. More than once I've heard the comment, "But the waitress didn't do that much." Sometimes they didn't - but that's because of what we ordered and because we didn't demand much. But we still needed to be checked in on. On the other hand, I've seen many church members give reasonable tips as well as generous tips. And I've seen and heard of church members paying for someone else they know in the restaurant who could use some financial encouragement. We are always witnessing.

I think you're probably right about the theology thing. I also think there is a pervasive arrogance and sense of privilege among Christians that I find extremely distasteful. Spending time on a restaurant wait staff is invaluable experience for the rest of a person's life. It never leaves us. When I am out with a group of Christians I am particularly aware of what others are tipping and usually end up supplementing what they leave. The wine thing is simply stupid. We have classes in churches about handling our money...maybe we should have classes on how to behave in public. I know, God doesn't heal all our wounds, make us smarter or improve our attitudes magically. But the "treat others the way you would like to be treated" seems to cover a lot of these situations. Please, if you can't afford to tip, go home and have a sandwich...and invite your friends to your house. We are told to be servants...and then we treat those serving us as if we deserved it. White knuckling my faith at times

I think that the server who posted the picture of the receipt (and got fired) was not the server for the pastor's table. At least this is what I heard somewhere. I wonder if more people bring children when they eat out after church than on other occasions. On those occasions when I turned the wine glasses upside down, it was to reduce the confusion that seemed to result from not wanting wine. And it did seem to avoid any discussion about the wine list. I have not done this in a while and will make it a point to not do it in the future. I don't know why the pastor thought it necessary to add her title to the note.

Well said, Karen! I never thought of the bad theology angle before, but it makes so much sense. Isn't that what's at the root of so many of our flaws?

Yes! Everything Christians do reflects their theology, even if it reflects bad theology. Nice job getting this word out, Karen. (I wrote on a closely related topic of the pervasiveness of theology today on my site too ( http://timfall.wordpress.com/ ). And so much of what you wrote has been my experience too. I heard a sermon once years before I became a Christian, and the pastor spoke of how they went to a restaurant and the server asked if they'd like something from the bar before dinner. "I told her no we do not want something from the bar, and I told her why!" He sounded so proud of himself, sad to say. Cheers, Tim