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Hannah Anderson

February 10, 2013  6:19pm

As the wife of a pastor, I appreciate your caution that we not lose our individual personhood to a role or expections of a congregation. However, I have to disagree that being the wife of a pastor is the same as being married to a man in any other profession. Unless of course, your family is expected to show up at his workplace three times a week. Truth is there are a lot of professions were the line between family and work blur. And really, being a doctor or a lawyer is not like any otber profession either. Perhaps instead, we can give each other the space to draw boundaries that work for us as couples. That may mean that a wife is heavily involved or not, but we must allow for a variety of circumstamces and personalities.

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Nancy Lee

February 09, 2013  7:19pm

When I married my husband, he was a teacher, and since then he's changed careers and is now a pastor who specializes in counseling. When he first began working at our church, we got to meet with our head pastor and his wife, and they asked about fears or concerns. I told them I felt there might be new expectations that I start teaching Sunday school or playing piano (none of which are gifts/abilities of mine!). They were WONDERFUL, and encouraged me to keep on pursuing the unique callings on my life, which include leading a ministry that reaches out to women who work in our city's sex industry. While my church leadership has this attitude, I know many do not, and women married to pastors are under tremendous pressure (especially those whose husbands are the only pastor on staff). They deserve freedom from human demands to be a certain kind of woman (whatever that is) so they can be freed to fulfill God's call on their lives.

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Cheryl Okimoto

February 09, 2013  10:53am

"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her," Ephesians 5:25. Jesus didn't only give up his life for his Bride, he gave up his home and took up the humble restrictions of a human body, "he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness" Philippians 2:7. Jesus himself said he didn't come to be served but to serve (Mark 10:45). So, how does the expectation that the pastor becomes everything and his wife becomes subservient to his calling square with husband's loving their wives? Pastors are not exempt from the basic requirements of Christian living.

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Tim Fall

February 09, 2013  9:55am

Pastor Golden, you do understand the author was not claiming never to have heard the term "First Lady" before, right? She was talking about the inappropriate use of the term to refer to the wife of a senior pastor in a mega-church. No matter who attends such a church, calling the woman the "First Lady" is flat out wrong. There is only one "First" person in any church, and that's Jesus Christ. Cheers, Tim (timfall.wordpress.com)

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Emilie egger

February 09, 2013  8:48am

I find this statement problematic: "I cannot think of a single instance in which a woman was expected to give up her gifts and calling in service of her husband, the dentist. Or lawyer. Or plumber." Giving up a career or hopes of a career to stay at home and support a husband's career has been a staple in marriage. The 'requirements' and celebrity of first ladies/pastors' wives are an extension of a long-standing (and problematic) dynamic.

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