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Dessie T

March 10, 2014  9:54pm

Goodness, there's a lot of "I'm right, you're wrong" around here. I love this article, not just because of its emphasis on grace, but also because it exposes how painful divorce can be. I would love for the church to take more of a preemptive approach than when I was growing up... and I feel that this is happening in some ways. Instead of just saying pre-marital sex and divorce are wrong (because they're both difficult topics), teach WHY. I was raised in a fundamentalist church and certainly knew pre-marital sex was a no-no, but I don't remember any talk about marriage being a covenant or the heartbreak of divorce. The majority of my friends (Christians and non-Christians) have not been divorced, but I have. Of course, hindsight is 20/20 and I can see how we were both so wrong and way too young. Yes, I still long for my husband and our life at times. However, he has remarried and has two beautiful children. I certainly don't expect him to leave his family because of his "adultery."

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Lynette Duquette

March 10, 2014  7:25am

Everyone is talking about divorce and remarriage and how it's unbiblical. Everyone keeps saying that if someone is abused etc they can "separate" for safety etc. Can someone show me where it says THAT? I don't see it anywhere in the bible. So why we all talk about what is unbiblical...we are adding our own caveats. I don't think divorce is unbiblical in certain circumstances. I have found in my years in churhc, and dealing with abusive churches, pastors and spouses, no divorce is code for 'I can do whatever I want and you have to stay married to me!' That right there is nothing but a huge control issue.

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Barbara Roberts

March 09, 2014  1:20am

I'm thrilled that CT has published this article. One point I'd like to add. If you look at Malachi 2:16 in the ESV, the HCSB, or the 2011 NIV you will see that it does not mean God hates divorce; rather it means that the man who hates and divorces covers his garment with violence. So a man who divorces out of sheer hatred and aversion for his wife is condemned by God; this man bears guilt for his act of treachery to the woman who he is casting off without valid reason. The saying "covers his garment with violence" is an idiom rather like our idiom "he has blood on his hands". It refers in this case to the guilt of the treacherous husband. That is what the passage in Malachi 2 is condemning. Tragically, the earlier (mis-)translations of Malachi 2:16 have given rise to the notion that God Hates Divorce — all divorce, no matter what. But how wrong this is! What an unjust picture it gives of God. God doesn't hate all divorce, only treacherous divorce.

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Living Liminal

March 08, 2014  7:06pm

Thank you for your considered and compassionate article. It's a pity that same tone is missing from some of the comments. I don't believe that using the Bible to beat up our brothers and sisters would get much support from Christ!

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Dan from Georgia

March 07, 2014  3:55pm

Thanks Leah Sp and Janet for the good words and standing up for the Truth. I will have to check out the Instone-Brewer book! I know John Piper has written some good stuff (not all of which I agree with BTW) on these issues too.

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