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To Have and to Hold, In Hardship and Unhappiness


Sep 25 2014
Having faith in marriage, for the long haul.
To Have and to Hold, In Hardship and Unhappiness
pustovit / Flickr

Nearly 35 years into my marriage to Bill, our shared commitment to the Lord has given us a life together that has been formed by Scripture. But our story at this point is more about the existential ache found in the book of Ecclesiastes than the youthful passion in the Song ...

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Ray Rice’s Domestic Abuse Saga: Why Not Leave Him?


Sep 10 2014
Questioning the victim takes focus away from the real problem: the abuse.
Ray Rice’s Domestic Abuse Saga: Why Not Leave Him?
Keith Allison / Flickr

Football fans turned their attention to the NFL and the Baltimore Ravens on Monday, after TMZ released a video of Ravens running back Ray Rice punching his then-fiancée in a casino elevator. The league ultimately suspended him indefinitely, and the team terminated ...

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Restoring Our Faith in Marriage


Aug 20 2014
Despite our negativity, most couples aren’t doomed for divorce.
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Restoring Our Faith in Marriage
andrewmorrell / Flickr

For decades, Americans have been hearing that the divorce rate in the U.S. is around 50 percent. And everywhere I travel as a speaker and researcher, I see a deep cultural discouragement about marriage today.

Conventional wisdom also holds that marriage is hard. We hear ...

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Good Sex Comes to Those Who Wait?


Jul 10 2014
Hook-up sex v. married sex: A warning about incentivizing abstinence with personal pleasure.
Good Sex Comes to Those Who Wait?
_theo_ / Flickr

I don't remember when I first heard the idea that the best sex in marriage comes from saving yourself until your wedding night, probably because it's been repeated again and again in church circles over the years. True love waiting rewards the strife of abstinence ...

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The Perfectionism Complex


Jul 9 2014
Sometimes God wants you to get over it and focus on the One who's already good enough.
The Perfectionism Complex
mafue / Flickr

Good lord, I look wide. White is not slimming.

As my seamstress buzzes around me, pinning the sides of my dress and taking the hem up to match my five-foot frame, she explains in her thick Greek accent the process of bridal tailoring. "You come in three times. This time, ...

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What Happened to Wedding Vows?


May 6 2014
Marriage requires a stronger foundation than just cutesy promises.
What Happened to Wedding Vows?
kris krüg / Flickr

If you've attended many recent weddings, you've likely heard brides and grooms exchange promises that deviate from the traditional vows taken from the Book of Common Prayer.

More and more couples alter the traditional lines or write their own —going along ...

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Neither Fully Widow Nor Fully Wife


Apr 17 2014
Alzheimer’s puts caregivers in painful in-betweens.
Neither Fully Widow Nor Fully Wife
andreaslindmark / Flickr

Last week, I observed two examples of loving service at the dinner table. At one end, my sister-in-law smooshed peas in a plastic bowl for Beatrix, the newest member of the family. At the other, my grandmother sliced steak into pieces for my grandfather, who can no longer ...

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The Divine Grace of the IRS


Apr 11 2014
Seriously. God’s help comes from the weirdest places.
The Divine Grace of the IRS
jdhancock / Flickr

When the National Labor Relations Board recently ruled that scholarship-receiving Northwestern University football players were deemed university employees and thus should be able to unionize, I had the strangest reaction, strange at least for a libertarian-leaner who believes ...

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Marriage in the Age of 'Conscious Uncoupling'


Mar 28 2014
Five things Gwyneth Paltrow's announcement gets wrong about relationships.
Marriage in the Age of 'Conscious Uncoupling'

The Interwebs don't need more snark about Gwyneth Paltrow, so I almost hesitate to weigh in on her "Conscious Uncoupling" announcement.

Almost.

I'm mindful that Paltrow and her husband Chris Martin are, in fact, real people who are in distress and working ...

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Advice to Women: Marry an Evangelist


Feb 28 2014
Has scriptural instruction become merely optional in our marriages?
Advice to Women: Marry an Evangelist
Chris Yarrzab / Flickr

Shortly after I began dating Rob, I was talking with one of his friends. "He's a great guy," she said. "But have you heard him pray?" Her question was rhetorical. We had both sat in the church prayer meeting and listened to that young man call on the ...

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