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Christian Colleges vs. Hookup Culture


Dec 16 2014
The good intentions behind conservative campus rules.
Christian Colleges vs. Hookup Culture
Jason Parrish / Flickr

American college campuses are dangerous places. On our campuses, women are sexually assaulted in alarming numbers. Men are being hauled before campus sex tribunals, many of which lack any semblance of due process. United Educators, an insurance company owned by 1,160 member ...

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A Lesson from Rape Stories: We Don’t Get What We Deserve


Dec 9 2014
It’s time to recognize that our world isn’t fair. And do something about it.
A Lesson from Rape Stories: We Don’t Get What We Deserve
Bob Mical / Flickr

Just one thing rivals the horror of being raped: divulging the details of that experience. Exposing yourself as a victim of rape is to be raped again; in the naked vulnerability of the telling, you not only relive those incalculably harrowing moments, but also risk “a ...

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Body Talk: Beyond the Tween Abstinence Lecture


Dec 3 2014
Media shapes how youth see their bodies. What can the church teach them instead?
Body Talk: Beyond the Tween Abstinence Lecture
Matt Kowal / Flickr

Getting an abstinence talk from a parent or youth pastor has become something of a rite of passage for evangelical teens. As evidenced by purity balls and promise rings, our subculture is deeply concerned with protecting youth from premarital sex. But I wonder if our focus ...

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Porn and the Singleness Panic


Nov 14 2014
Why the state of marriage doesn’t mean we lower our standards.
Porn and the Singleness Panic
Emilio Labrador / Flickr

In a society that largely champions sexual expression, including pornography, it is heartening to hear someone acknowledge its detriments. That’s why I was initially glad to see sociologist Mark Regnerus’s recent article in First Things.

“Revelations of ...

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Not All Vulnerability Is Brave


Nov 3 2014
We don’t have to expose our deepest secrets with every speech and blog post.
Not All Vulnerability Is Brave
Evan Agostini/Invision / AP

It’s fitting that writer and actress Lena Dunham begins her debut book with a section on love and sex. The first chapter is titled “Take My Virginity.” The taking of the virginity happened with a young man she met in the college cafeteria:

I didn’t ...
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How Natural Family Planning Shaped My View of Sex


Aug 25 2014
A more intensive method of birth control reminded me that it’s God who’s in control.
How Natural Family Planning Shaped My View of Sex
yohutch / Flickr

If I had found out I was pregnant within the first year or so of my marriage, I probably would have cried unhappy tears and grimly braced myself for the end of life as I knew it. I was fresh out of college, ready to change the world, and not prepared to have kids.

During ...

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So Much More to Sex than 'Fifty Shades'


Aug 1 2014
Society overlooks true intimacy when we idolize the pleasure of steamy sex.
So Much More to Sex than 'Fifty Shades'
Universal Pictures and Focus Features / Flickr

E.L. James' erotic series has resonated with millions of readers, with over 100 million copies of her book sold worldwide and overwhelming attention given to the trailer for the upcoming Fifty Shades of Grey movie. Less than a week after the clip went up on YouTube, it ...

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Good Sex Comes to Those Who Wait?


Jul 10 2014
Hook-up sex v. married sex: A warning about incentivizing abstinence with personal pleasure.
Good Sex Comes to Those Who Wait?
_theo_ / Flickr

I don't remember when I first heard the idea that the best sex in marriage comes from saving yourself until your wedding night, probably because it's been repeated again and again in church circles over the years. True love waiting rewards the strife of abstinence ...

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How It Feels to Love and Hate a Sex Offender


Jul 7 2014
Abusers’ families are secondary victims, left to reconcile their conflicting emotions.
How It Feels to Love and Hate a Sex Offender
paulhami / Flickr

Years ago, before my current husband Jeff and I were married, I asked one of my daughters how she would feel if Jeff officially became one of the family. At first she responded enthusiastically, about how awesome it would be if he lived with us, about how we can watch all ...

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In Honor of Periods, Pad Commercials, and Menstrual Cramps


Jul 1 2014
Why suppressing our cycles isn’t always the answer.
In Honor of Periods, Pad Commercials, and Menstrual Cramps
doortoriver / Flickr

Recent ads from Verizon and Always Sanitary Pads pack a powerful message to pre-teen girls on what it is like to be dismissed as "like a girl." In contrast, the latest video from menstruation marketer HelloFlo, which provides monthly "special delivery" ...

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