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Porn and the Singleness Panic


Nov 14 2014
Why the state of marriage doesn’t mean we lower our standards.
Porn and the Singleness Panic
Emilio Labrador / Flickr

In a society that largely champions sexual expression, including pornography, it is heartening to hear someone acknowledge its detriments. That’s why I was initially glad to see sociologist Mark Regnerus’s recent article in First Things.

“Revelations of ...

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Not All Vulnerability Is Brave


Nov 3 2014
We don’t have to expose our deepest secrets with every speech and blog post.
Not All Vulnerability Is Brave
Evan Agostini/Invision / AP

It’s fitting that writer and actress Lena Dunham begins her debut book with a section on love and sex. The first chapter is titled “Take My Virginity.” The taking of the virginity happened with a young man she met in the college cafeteria:

I didn’t ...
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How Natural Family Planning Shaped My View of Sex


Aug 25 2014
A more intensive method of birth control reminded me that it’s God who’s in control.
How Natural Family Planning Shaped My View of Sex
yohutch / Flickr

If I had found out I was pregnant within the first year or so of my marriage, I probably would have cried unhappy tears and grimly braced myself for the end of life as I knew it. I was fresh out of college, ready to change the world, and not prepared to have kids.

During ...

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So Much More to Sex than 'Fifty Shades'


Aug 1 2014
Society overlooks true intimacy when we idolize the pleasure of steamy sex.
So Much More to Sex than 'Fifty Shades'
Universal Pictures and Focus Features / Flickr

E.L. James' erotic series has resonated with millions of readers, with over 100 million copies of her book sold worldwide and overwhelming attention given to the trailer for the upcoming Fifty Shades of Grey movie. Less than a week after the clip went up on YouTube, it ...

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Good Sex Comes to Those Who Wait?


Jul 10 2014
Hook-up sex v. married sex: A warning about incentivizing abstinence with personal pleasure.
Good Sex Comes to Those Who Wait?
_theo_ / Flickr

I don't remember when I first heard the idea that the best sex in marriage comes from saving yourself until your wedding night, probably because it's been repeated again and again in church circles over the years. True love waiting rewards the strife of abstinence ...

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How It Feels to Love and Hate a Sex Offender


Jul 7 2014
Abusers’ families are secondary victims, left to reconcile their conflicting emotions.
How It Feels to Love and Hate a Sex Offender
paulhami / Flickr

Years ago, before my current husband Jeff and I were married, I asked one of my daughters how she would feel if Jeff officially became one of the family. At first she responded enthusiastically, about how awesome it would be if he lived with us, about how we can watch all ...

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In Honor of Periods, Pad Commercials, and Menstrual Cramps


Jul 1 2014
Why suppressing our cycles isn’t always the answer.
In Honor of Periods, Pad Commercials, and Menstrual Cramps
doortoriver / Flickr

Recent ads from Verizon and Always Sanitary Pads pack a powerful message to pre-teen girls on what it is like to be dismissed as "like a girl." In contrast, the latest video from menstruation marketer HelloFlo, which provides monthly "special delivery" ...

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To Publish a Predator


Jun 16 2014
What the regrettable Leadership Journal post reminds us about the nature of sexual abuse.
To Publish a Predator
Connor Tarter / Flickr

In 1958, Vladimir Nabokov rocked America's sleepy, conservative culture with the publication of Lolita, the story of a middle-aged scholar obsessed with a 12-year-old girl. Lolita is perhaps the most brilliant, well-crafted example of a literary device called "the ...

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When We Close Our Wombs


Jun 4 2014
Christian women face difficult decisions over sterilization.
When We Close Our Wombs
David Salafia / Flickr

A month ago, I joined millions of women who have gone before me, making the difficult yet freeing decision to close my womb through surgery.

After getting married at age 35, I unsuccessfully tried to conceive a child for over five years. And then my general reproductive ...

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An Open Letter to Male Virgins


May 30 2014
Despite what society says, our identity does not rely on our sexual status.
An Open Letter to Male Virgins
Dark_Angel_ATH / Flickr

...

I almost replied. I wanted to challenge his view of virginity and encourage him to think of what he could gain through a season of unwanted celibacy.

I've thought about that unwritten email again, ever since the news that Elliot Rodger gunned down six people and ...

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