I think back to my early days in the corporate world. How I yearned for a management role. My vision of a leader was freedom from being told what to do and when to do it. Instead of being bossed around, I could tell others what to do.

Years later, when I was a vice president, a bright young employee said to me, only half jokingly, "I can hardly wait until I get to a position like yours—power and no worries." He meant it as a compliment. But inside I thought, "If only you knew."

You see, over time my views have changed. Through years of leadership responsibility, I slowly began to realize a very basic truth—if I took my role as a leader to heart, my own personal comfort zone and my desire to control mattered much less than the well-being of the people around me. If I truly hoped to become an effective leader, I had to center my attention on the growth of my employees—not myself. I needed to foster their growth instead of only my own. I needed to lose my life, not gain it.

But these lessons are difficult to learn. As a young business leader, I discovered it was difficult to balance corporate competition with the care of employees. On one hand, I was tempted to center on the well-being of "self," which meant my success always came before the success of my employees. Yet, on the other hand, I knew in my heart there was a better way.

That classic dilemma reminds me of a C. S. Lewis passage in The Screwtape Letters (1). You may remember in Lewis's satire that a senior demon is writing instructions to his apprentice. In one letter, Screwtape tells Wormwood, "[God] wants men to be concerned with what they do; our business is to keep them thinking about what will happen to them."

Isn't that great? Today's highly aggressive business world traps us into thinking only of our own needs and future: "What are they saying behind my back?" "Management dislikes one of my employees—dare I ignore it?" "Does my performance merit another promotion?" In that kind of daily pressure, concern for others certainly seems unrealistic. Yet that is what Christ calls us to do.

I wish I could tell you that I've learned every lesson, but I have not. Though I'm president now of my own business, my days frequently fill with new tensions between personal power and empowering others. Sometimes I give life; sometimes I hoard power for myself.

Ellen Charry, associate professor of systematic theology at Princeton Theological Seminary, has written a wonderful essay entitled "The Crisis of Modernity and the Christian Self"(2). One of her statements reads, "True strength is the power not to control others but to give them new life."

Power doesn't come through controlling people; it comes through giving them life. As leaders, we have a golden opportunity to help give employees life.

I once envied those in power and position.

Now, I desire to be a giver of life.

• Have you struggled in the workplace with guardian of self vs. "giver of life"? If so, how?

1) C. S. Lewis, "Screwtape Proposes a Toast," in The Screwtape Letters (New York: HarperCollins, 2001), p. 25.
2) Ellen T. Charry, in A Passion for God's Reign (Grand Rapids, MI: William B. Eerdmans Publishing Company, 1998), p. 108.