Pastors

Acceptable Risk in Youth Ministry

Some peril accompanies any activity, but how much is too much?

The evening was going well, I thought. Twenty-four of us-three adults and twenty-one high schoolers-were Christmas caroling and getting the expected response. Thank you, Lord, I prayed silently, that these kids are willing to take a stand for you in this setting. Keep us safe, Lord; keep us safe.

No, we weren't singing at a calm retirement center or in front of a parishioner's stately home. We were strolling around "porno row" on the roughest street in downtown Seattle, regional headquarters for a variety of carnal pursuits. In fact, we carol there nearly every year, trying to bring some light into a dark world.

I knew from experience, however, that at least one thing memorable would occur. That night, two things happened thirty minutes after we began.

We were finishing our final song in front of a double-doored pornography shop. The left door led to live "XXX" show girls, and the right to video rentals and view booths. A few passersby had stopped to listen. One man came out the left door to enjoy the songs. As he did, we saw a woman behind the counter smile approvingly.

When we finished, the woman rushed out, apparently in gratitude, and handed our youth choir director (a 16-year-old girl, Loni) a stocking filled to overflowing. Loni happily received it on behalf of the group and thanked the woman. A closer look, however, revealed that the stocking was not filled with candy, but erotic paraphernalia! As the kids came unglued in laughter, Loni delicately handed me the stocking.

As we walked on, I dropped it in a trash bin. We were still trying to regain our composure when we rounded a corner and found ourselves in the middle of a youth gang. They were as shocked as we. Our kids did exactly what they had been told to do in such a situation-they silently and quickly walked straight ahead, following my lead. The police arrived at the corner as we did and escorted us a safe distance.

Is Christmas caroling with a youth group on porno row risky? Yes. Are the benefits worth the risk? I'm convinced they are.

Which youth activities are acceptable risks? Which aren't? Is effective youth ministry ever risk free? These questions have been constant companions as I have been working with youth for twenty years.

I've made some poor decisions and sometimes taken unacceptable risks with my own life and the lives of the young people entrusted to me. By God's grace, I have had no serious accidents. And by God's grace, I'm learning to judge when risk is acceptable and when it isn't. Here are some things I try to remember.

All Ministry Involves Risk

Living, itself, is a risk. When we get up in the morning the risks begin: Will I slip in the shower? Will I burn myself as I fry eggs over a gas flame? Will I be broadsided by a car that runs a red light?

Recently, I was driving a van with our youth leadership group. Our prayer and planning meeting had been held at a nearby park, and we were heading back to church. From a side street, another driver bolted in front of us without looking in our direction.

Well, this is it, I remember thinking, my first big accident. I don't know how, but we swerved and stopped less than an inch from impact. But no one criticized me for taking a risk with the kids by driving them to the park. It is one of the acceptable, normal risks of life.

It is impossible to minister to young people without taking risks. Of course, one could lock them in the church basement for a few years (a fantasy of many parents, no doubt). But playing it safe would curtail their spiritual growth. Effective youth ministry means you have to leave the church parking lot from time to time.

Unacceptable Risks

On the other hand, some risks are unacceptable. Early in my ministry, I made more than my share of blunders:

Everyone loves river rafting. But why did I lead twenty kids in flimsy rubber rafts down an unfamiliar mountain river? We nearly lost two kids that day. I'll never forget how stupid and helpless I felt shivering on the shore while one of the kids rescued his peers.

Thirteen junior highers were jammed into my new Camaro-what a cruisin' party! For some reason the patrolman didn't think it was funny, and he pointed out how recklessly I was treating the lives of other people's children.

Backpacking is such a high! We arrived at the trailhead as darkness fell. My staff person advised we camp there and enjoy the hike in the morning. How unmacho. I let the kids who wanted to run up the trail do so, while I led the slow group. Hours later, as our flashlights faltered, we still plodded along, unsure if we had taken the proper turns.

In these situations, I obviously hadn't learned the significance of "unacceptable risk."

Keys to Minimizing Risk

While it is true that accidents happen, many disasters can be avoided if I practice a few principles.

Seek out normal activities. If your young people and their families normally participate in a particular recreational activity, then the risk is likely acceptable. For our group this means that snow skiing, water skiing, swimming at mountain lakes, hiking, camping, and going to amusement parks and retreats are acceptable activities, even with the risks involved.

On the other hand, our youth and their families rarely, if ever, do sky diving, white-water rafting, rock climbing, scuba diving, or deer hunting. If the risks for the families are unacceptable, they are unacceptable for our youth group.

In using this guideline, I'm not trying to be politically savvy with my youth's parents. I simply trust their experienced wisdom. If they judge that an activity is an acceptable risk for their loved ones, then it's likely an acceptable risk for the church youth group. That doesn't mean a youth group is restricted to activities that families normally do, but it does preclude a number of potentially disastrous ones.

Look at things from a parent's point of view. It became much easier for me to do this when I became a father. In one of those "Ah ha!" experiences, I grasped what parents feel: they want their kids brought back safe and sound. It won't do to report to the church board, "Sorry about the accident, but look at it this way: we came back from the retreat with over 95 percent of the kids."

Porno-row Christmas caroling is not a normal activity of church families. But it became an acceptable risk because I planned the event with parents' concerns in mind. We decided to carol at a time when virtually no crime occurs in that part of the city-early evening. The police department assured me that the area would be heavily policed. The kids were thoroughly briefed about situations they might encounter. A number of parents joined me in leading the event.

Furthermore, we clearly informed parents about the nature and purpose of the event: It helps our young people remember what they've been saved from. They see that knowing Christ makes a difference. They identify a bit with persecuted Christians when they are sworn at or mocked. They know the joy of ministry when someone steps out of a bar with tears in his eyes and thanks them for bringing Christmas to him.

Practice extra-mile planning. Ever arrive at a motel with a bus load of kids, and just as you're unloading the bus, getting ready to check in, the police pull up?

Officer: "What are you doing?"

Len: "Well, sir, as you can see, we are unloading our bus. We're going to spend the night at this motel."

Officer: "Don't you know what this is?"

Len: "No, I guess not. What do you mean?"

Officer: "This motel is a house of prostitution. Better keep a close watch on your kids."

Len: "Thanks, I needed that."

Sure enough, business was booming all night. It never occurred to me to check into why the place was so cheap. I should have gone the extra mile in my planning and learned more about the motel.

Include a margin of safety. One of my favorite ministry activities is long bus trips. (I am not making this up.) I love being with my kids in that informal setting, driving down the freeway, talking and joking with them.

Once I was driving our "new" used church bus when the LOW AIR warning light came on. I didn't take it seriously, but fortunately, the brakes didn't fail until we drove into the church parking lot.

Now I plan a wide margin of safety into our travels. All our drivers know what each warning light signals. We don't overload our bus or van. We don't block the emergency exits or aisles with luggage, people, or equipment. We no longer hold rugby tournaments or track meets on the bus as we travel.

Blessed as I am to have mountains close by, I often lead kids through, up, and down them. One year I took a few kids from our backpacking group on a side trip up a steep trail to the base of a six-thousand-foot volcanic cone. While I knew the remaining five hundred feet was not a technical climb, it wasn't a trail either. And I was the only adult with these five if-it's-there-let's-climb-it teenagers. When they asked if we could scale it, I assured them I knew each of them could make it. However, I drew a line in the dirt where the trail ended and said, "The church's insurance runs out right here, and we won't be going any farther."

I realized that if we scaled that last part, there would be no margin for safety. The staff ratio was but 5:1. It was an unacceptable risk.

Personally check the most important details. I need to remember that it is me-not anyone else on the planet-who is ultimately responsible for the safety of young people in my care. That fact makes me personally check certain details on each trip.

On one trip, I discovered that someone had locked the emergency exit door of the bus. But I didn't discover it until we had traveled 120 miles in a bus filled to capacity. No matter who drives now, I always check that door.

It's also nice to not lose kids en route. On one trip, a few miles after we stopped at a downtown gas station, someone announced, "Jim's not on the bus!" I told the driver to turn around. Because of downtown traffic, it took us thirty minutes to get back to the station.

When we got there, the attendant said, "Yeah, I saw a kid come out of the bathroom and start running up the street. You probably had a half mile on him." It took another ninety minutes to find him. By the time we got back to church (150 miles away), few kids or parents were happy.

From then on, before we leave anywhere on a bus trip, I make the kids do a head count, and I listen to make sure everyone is present. I attend to this detail myself.

Clarify boundaries. It was 1:30 A.M., and I was congratulating myself on running a smooth graduation overnight. A group of us was spending the night at a resort. Then my cabin phone ran, and my wife informed me that one girl, Jill, was not to be found. After a cabin search, I found that her boyfriend, Steve, was also missing, as well as another young man named Bill.

About a mile down the strip I found Bill dancing in a night club with a local girl. He left in a flash when I pointed out how late it was. As for Jill and Steve, they sauntered in around 5:00 A.M.

Although these kids should have known better, I also realized I hadn't given them a curfew or told them to stay on the premises.

Warn creatively. This is especially important when working with young people. They weary of stern warnings. Besides, they will remember my cautions and rules better if they are warned creatively.

When you take teenagers to a lake, you can be almost sure that, unless it's a body of water the size of Lake Michigan, someone is going to try to swim across. In such situations, I creatively caution them with "The Ranger Len Lakeside Chat." It goes something like this:

"I know most of you are strong swimmers. To swim across this puddle would be no problem for you. I need to let you know, though, that I want you to stay within about thirty yards of shore. I know it sounds silly, but we don't have any certified lifeguard here, nor do we have lifeguard equipment. Besides, our church board gets upset if I lose more than 5 percent of the kids on any one trip. It's also amazing how angry I get when someone ignores this rule. Let's have a great time, but within about thirty yards of the shore. Any questions?"

When Things Go Wrong

No matter how careful the planning, things still go wrong. Then it's best to accept the responsibility, even if there are extenuating circumstances. When I lead an event, the buck stops with me.

I recently returned from a backpacking trip in which everything that could go wrong did. Never have I been called on to make so many immediate decisions affecting the safety, health, and comfort of those entrusted to me. By the fourth day I was emotionally exhausted.

That's why I didn't stop some kids from daring each other to jump off a fifty-five-foot cliff into the lake. It was a long jump, yes, but into a deep part of the lake; I thought it risky, but not dangerous. Later I realized that, although that was true for some of the kids (who had done it before), for others it wasn't. In short, I didn't leave a margin for safety. Of the five who jumped, two were injured, one of whom required immediate evacuation for internal injuries.

The next day, as the rest of us slogged up the steep trail in the driving rain, I grieved over my poor decision. I determined I would accept responsibility for what happened. When I got back, I wrote the parents a long letter, part of which read:

"Parents need to feel assured that whoever is in charge will preclude 'accidents' that are clearly avoidable. I let you down this time, and I do not know how to convey the depth of my regret over the decision I made and the injuries that resulted. You would think I would be a little smarter after all the trips I've led. I have no alibis, no excuses. I simply seek your forgiveness."

Fortunately, they did forgive me, and most of them gladly.

Some Risks Bring Big Rewards

Not all risks we take threaten physical safety. Some are riskier still, threatening the spiritual welfare of our young people.

About once every four years we invite some non-Christian philosophy professor to the youth Sunday school class. We ask the professor to give a testimony explaining why he or she is not a Christian. For youth struggling with doubts and for others still searching, we risk that this intelligent non-Christian will, in fact, persuade them to abandon Christ. In one sense, there is no greater risk in ministry. However, we take it.

Beforehand, though, I thoroughly brief both parents and kids as to what we are doing and why: we're challenging our young people to think seriously about their faith. During the presentation, the kids are allowed to ask questions but must avoid debate. They take notes on the presentation and we critique it a week later.

The last time we did this, the professor was superbly articulate but unprepared to stand in front of eighty smiling young people. Her presentation began to falter when the kids gently and kindly began to ask her questions for clarification. Finally, one young man asked, "Dr. Williams, are you still open to becoming a Christian?"

There was a long pause. "Yes," she answered, and then paused again. "And how I wish my teenage daughter could get involved in a church youth group like this!"

So, yes, there are many times I take risks in youth work. But most of the time they are acceptable. And most of the time they pay off handsomely.

Copyright © 1990 by the author or Christianity Today/Leadership Journal. Click here for reprint information on Leadership Journal.

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