As we approach Father’s Day, we thought you would appreciate this insight from Marshall Shelley, editor of Leadership Journal:
What would you think of a father whose daughter was raped — and he did not respond? What would you think if the girl’s brothers decided to exact their own justice by brutally killing the rapist — and all his brothers, cousins, and uncles, going way beyond “an eye for an eye” — and that same father again did nothing, except to fret that people might think poorly of him?
You might say he failed to exert leadership in a crisis.
What if that same father allowed sibling rivalry between his sons to fester into such hatred that they “could say no kind word” — and again the father does nothing about it?
That’s not just poor handling of a crisis — that’s serious and long-term neglect of family health.
And what if that father favors one son with a lavish gift, a one-of-a-kind coat, and then sends that son, alone and unarmed and wearing the controversial coat, to tell his jealous older brothers (who’ve already proven they’re capable of murder) to shape up. And this results in the favored son being assaulted, almost killed, and eventually sold as a slave into another country.
Is that an example of good fathering? Hardly. In hindsight, it’s almost criminal neglect.
And yet, that’s the story of one of the Bible’s most famous fathers — Jacob. It’s all in Genesis 34 and 37. Yes, the heir of Abraham and Isaac — Jacob, the man whose name was changed to Israel and had a nation named after him, was, let’s put this charitably … a passive, under-involved father. Less-charitable observers might charge him with paternal malpractice.
Throughout his life, Jacob was a conniver. He deceived his blind father, and deprived his brother of the family blessing. Yet he is listed among the faithful in the “Hall of Faith” in Hebrews 11. And guess what he’s commended for in Hebrews? Not for the way he treated his children. Not for some act of heroism (precious few of those in Jacob’s life).
No, he was commended (Heb. 11:21) for the faith that led him to worship God in his old age and to bless two of his grandsons — Ephraim and Manasseh — the offspring of his favored son Joseph. He told the boys that they would become great as heirs of God’s promise.
In Hebrews 11, Jacob the underachiever and Joseph, his overachieving son, both get equal mention — praised as men of faith not for what they accomplished during their “productive years,” but for the faith they exhibit as their lives come to an end.
As we age, we can be tempted to despair over our life choices, or we can become proud of our track record. Jacob is commended not for a stellar performance review, but for the spirit he exhibited in the latter years.
Yes, perhaps Jacob’s poor performance as a father and leader can be excused by extenuating circumstances. But the point is, if someone like Jacob’s life can be such a mess — if his leadership decisions and indecision can lead to such pain and suffering — and God can work with this kind of material to save and build a nation for Himself, then maybe your performance and mine can be used for good also.
And more important, make sure you don’t stop your worshiping in old age — and if I ever have grandkids, you can be sure they’ll have my heartfelt blessing.
—Marshall Shelley, editor of Leadership Journal (http://www.leadershipjournal.net), will be a seminar speaker at the National Pastors Convention in San Diego, California, from February 13-17, 2001. Save the dates! For more information about this exciting event, call toll free 888/346-4179. You can reply to Marshall at Newsletter@LeadershipJournal.net.
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