The Underparented Generation

Lyle Schaller denies he's a prophet. I'm not sure I believe him. He's at least a world-class tracker—reading footprints, sniffing the air, seeing what others miss. And when he tells you what you're going to find over the next ridge, I've learned you'd better pay attention!

Lyle is an author (more than 30 of his books are still in print), a former city planner, and perhaps this generation's best analyst of church sociology.

He's also a neighbor. A few weeks ago, Eric Reed and Drew Zahn and I drove down Naperville Road to pay Lyle a visit. His living room was jammed with boxes and files that he was cleaning out at his wife's request. ("We've been married 20,209 days," he told us with typical deadpan. "If you keep track of it this way, every day is your wedding anniversary," which tells you something about the way his mind works.)

We asked him what cultural trend will most significantly impact the way churches do ministry in the next few years.

"The changing definition and configurations of 'family,'" Lyle said. He explained that with divorces, cohabitation, single- parent homes, blended families, and grandparents raising infants … important assumptions have shifted. We acted on the tracker's advice. This issue of LEADERSHIP is the result.

Lyle also offered two more bits of wisdom.

First, he warned us to watch our language. "Language evolves, and the word family is one I would use with caution," he said. "It can be unintentionally offensive. Yes, many people place a high value on the family in our society. 'Family values' has a positive connotation in some political circles, and many churches list as one of their core values 'strengthening the family' or 'undergirding family life.' But to folks who don't have a traditional family structure, which is the growing proportion, it says, 'People like you aren't welcome.'"

So what term should replace "family"? Lyle asked if we had noticed that the U.S. Census Bureau had stopped referring to "families." The more precise term now is "households," which incidentally is an equally biblical term. While we didn't completely follow this practice (because strengthening families continues to be a need, especially where they're falling apart), we took his alert seriously.

After warning us to beware of our language, he told us to be aware of the church's great opportunity for tomorrow: "Traditionally, life was sequential: school, job, marriage, then parenthood. Today people do those four in different sequences. But this traditional sequence, especially job and marriage preceding parenthood, is still the number one way to avoid poverty.

"State governments are recognizing this through the rising costs of Medicaid. About two-thirds of people in nursing homes are under Medicaid. But did you realize that one-third of all births are paid for out of Medicaid?"

As a result, three states (Arizona, Louisiana, Arkansas) already have laws encouraging "covenant marriage," about half the states have legislation pending, and Schaller predicts that marriage education will soon have as much state support as driver's education.

This is going to create a great opportunity for churches to prepare couples on "How to build a healthy, happy, and enduring marriage."

As we drove back up Naperville Road, we wondered if we'd been with a prophet. But one thing's for sure, Lyle's scouting skills are worth keeping in mind. We pray this issue of LEADERSHIP prepares you for ministry just over the ridge.

Marshall Shelley is editor of Leadership journal.

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