When pastor Ray Pritchard decided to address the contentious issue of same-sex marriage, he didn’t keep it a secret. Through a direct mail campaign, Pritchard’s church, Calvary Memorial in Oak Park, Illinois, publicized the sermon topic for its morning services and announced that Stephen Bennett, a former homosexual, would speak at the evening service.
How the controversial topic was handled, or mishandled, would have a lasting impact on the church’s standing in the community.
Oak Park has a large gay population and prides itself on its “open and affirming” attitudes. The village president is a lesbian, and several members of the school board are openly gay. Into this setting, with same-sex marriage on the national agenda and tensions rising because of it, Pritchard felt compelled to bring a biblical perspective to the ongoing public debate.
In addition to the 40,000-piece mailing, the church advertised in local newspapers and on the web and posted a giant banner over the building’s entrance reading “God Speaks Today.” And the community took notice.
“We were informed a week in advance that there would be protesters at our services,” Pritchard said. “The Sunday beforehand, I informed the congregation, asked them to pray, told them that their church needed them to be present, and I encouraged them to reach out and welcome anyone and everyone who might be a visitor.
“But,” as Pritchard noted, “in 26 years of being a pastor, I can’t recall a Sunday where the emotional pressure seemed as great.”
That Sunday in September began peacefully, but soon it escalated into a media event unprecedented in the church’s 90-year history.
This moment-by-moment account of that turbulent day is a compilation of the excerpts from Pritchard’s online weblog (www.calvarymemorial.com), two newspapers (the Chicago Tribune and Oak Park Oak Leaves), and the Chicago ABC-TV affiliate (WLS-TV). We also interviewed WLS radio reporter Cisco Cotto, a member of Calvary Memorial Church and eyewitness to the protests both inside and outside the church.
The hype before the storm
Pritchard’s blog, posted Sept 22: This Sunday I’m preaching on “The Truth About Same-Sex Marriage.” The Oak Park Lesbian and Gay Association (OPLGA) got wind of the sermon (it wasn’t a secret—we mailed 40,000 postcards to every home and business in Oak Park), and decided they would stage a “silent protest” this Sunday morning.
“We want to make sure the Oak Park community, which has protected us as a class and equalized us, bears witness to someone saying we are sick and immoral,” Ethel Cotovsky [co-chairman of OPLGA] said, “That’s all we ask for. We don’t know what he’s going to say.” (Oak Leaves)
But if they don’t know what I’m going to say, how do they know I’m going to say they are sick and immoral?
Oak Park has a large homosexual population, so you’ve got to invite people in. Calvary really publicized this sermon series. And they did that on purpose. They wanted people to show up. Calvary said, “We are preaching biblical truth, and whether you agree with us or not, we invite you to show up.” (Cotto)
Even though I’m spending a few days in Florida, my mind is largely back in Oak Park, and the events coming up on Sunday. Joe Jordan, executive director of Word of Life, said he wanted to pray that I would be able to preach “bold truth and sweet grace.” That seems just right to me. We need truth and grace, and we need them together, not separately. That’s the target this Sunday.
“We are bearing witness to this bigoted sermon,” Cotovsky said. “[The protest] will be very peaceful, no placards, no bull horns.” (Chicago Tribune)
“We welcome people who are curious, who agree, who disagree,” Pritchard said. “There’s no question our viewpoint on same-sex marriage is likely to be somewhat different than theirs. That’s OK. You don’t have to agree with us to come to a service.” (Oak Leaves)
Defusing the tension
Pritchard’s blog, posted Sept 27: Before the 8:30 A.M. service, [the protesters] set up a card table on the sidewalk in front of the church. They chatted with our people, offered them white ribbons and literature about what they believe. Lots of Calvary folks stopped to talk to them and to invite them to join us for the first worship service.
On Sunday morning there were a few protesters and they were very nice and not making a scene at all. They were simply handing out flyers to any churchgoers who wanted them. They were equally respectful to those who accepted the flyer and those who did not. (Cotto)
I think we had 10 to 15 OPLGA folks who attended the first service. The service itself was packed, and the atmosphere was tense and expectant because no one knew what was going to happen. In 26 years of being a pastor, I can’t recall a Sunday where the emotional pressure seemed as great.
I decided early in the week that rather than attack same-sex marriage head-on, I would instead present a survey of the whole Bible, showing that the male-female, man-woman relationship is fundamental to all that the Bible says. I told the congregation that instead of telling them what was wrong, I wanted to talk about what was right.
About 100 gay-rights activists from the Oak Park Area Lesbian and Gay Association donned white ribbons in support of gay marriage during the Sunday morning service in silent protest to the church’s stance. They hope their willingness to peacefully hear the pastor’s message will spark dialogue with the church. (Chicago Tribune)
The sermon itself was not what many might expect of a statement against gay marriage. The reverend was very careful in his words and stuck to reading passages in the Bible when defending his views. (ABC7 News)
During Ray’s sermon, instead of focusing on the passages in Scripture that decry homosexuality, he chose instead to speak about the biblical model for marriage. That surprised me. It was a challenge to the church members, not just the protesters. (Cotto)
All three services ended with a soulful version of “Jesus Loves Me.” I asked the congregation to join hands, even across the aisles, so that we were all connected with each other. There was a mighty release of emotional praise as we sang those familiar words, “Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so.” The sound filled the sanctuary with a mighty crescendo as we sang the final chorus a cappella. What started under great tension and pressure ended on an amazing high note of praise in all three services.
“I respect [Pritchard’s] belief. His belief is deep and profound. But I will not agree that homosexuality is a sin,” association spokeswoman Ethel Cotosky said. (Chicago Tribune)
Various people from OPLGA attended all three services. Without an exception, they were gracious, courteous, kind and loving. It’s quite true that they disagree with what I said (at least on some points), but there were no angry arguments. And there were many conversations, lots of smiles, and even some laughter. Despite our deeply held differences, we were able to talk together as friends and neighbors. And we all felt, “This is how it ought to be.”
Real trouble on the horizon
Pritchard’s blog, posted Sept 27: Before my sermon in the third service, [church member] Reggie Winston alerted me that several protesters from a gay activist group in Chicago (not affiliated with the OPLGA in any way) were standing near the Channel 7 TV cameras in the rear of the sanctuary.
Other activists from outside Oak Park felt that actively voicing their displeasure was the only way to get their point across. One man jumped up in the middle of the morning sermon and yelled “born-again bigots” repeatedly before being dragged out of the sanctuary. (Chicago Tribune)
I was very moved by the reaction between our church members and the protester removed from the service, and the other protesters too. In spite of some horrible things that were yelled and said the people at Calvary were very respectful. They wanted the story to be about God’s message, not about church members fighting with protesters. (Cotto)
After we finished, I went up to greet a friend who is part of the OPLGA. He hugged me and said, “Ray, I’m proud of you. You spoke what you believe and you spoke from your heart. And you released us to love one another.”
I saw many of our people talking to our visitors all morning long. I can’t think of anything better than for those who know the Lord to spend time talking with people who visit the church. The reporter from Channel 7 said she appreciated the sermon because it did not promote hatred like other sermons she had heard on the topic. The reporter from the Chicago Tribune loved the whole service, and said she felt comforted by what she heard, and by the multicultural nature of our congregation. I think all of us sensed the Lord had done a great work in our midst, that lives were changed, and many doors for ministry are now open before us.
Things turn ugly
Pritchard’s blog, posted Sept 27: The evening was a different story. When I got to the church at 5:00 P.M., a group of 15 to 20 noisy protesters were marching in front of the sanctuary, with placards decrying the bigotry of our church, led by a man with a bullhorn who continually shouted things about Stephen Bennett, our speaker for the evening. The man with the bullhorn was the same young man who interrupted the service in the morning.
Waving placards and shouting through a microphone, dozens of demonstrators marched outside an Oak Park church Sunday evening voicing their anger with the evangelical congregation’s stance against same-sex unions and railing against a guest speaker who describes himself as a reformed homosexual. Protesters chanted “Shame!” and “House of Hate!” as parishioners of Calvary Memorial Church entered the service. (Chicago Tribune)
The police were there in force—uniformed officers and squad cars surrounding the protesters. There were so many TV trucks and camera crews, you would have thought you were at a political convention. It was noisy and raucous and unnerving. As 6:00 P.M. approached, our people came in from all directions. Many of them walked right by the protesters who implored them not to come hear “that bigot,” Stephen Bennett. A few people got upset with the protesters, but most just ignored them, which we had asked them to do.
Several of the more than 500 people who attended the evening service entered the church through a side entrance to avoid taunts from the activists, while others who knew some activists hugged and prayed with the protesters. (Chicago Tribune)
The loud, angry protesters were gone within minutes of Stephen Bennett beginning his talk. They were there to get on camera. And once everyone was inside and there was no one to harass and no more cameras, they left. And I was stunned to walk out and see no more protesters and no police. (Cotto)
Before the service, [Calvary member] David Kudo happened to be standing near one of the protesters who asked him, “Is it alright if I go to the service?”
“Yes, we’d love to have you come in and join us.”
“Will they hurt me?” (A fear shared by many gays and lesbians because of past mistreatment.)
David responded with, “Do I have horns?”
I’m chuckling as I write this because David Kudo is truly a gracious man. So the protester got his partner and the two of them came in and listened to Stephen Bennett.
Peace talks, protest walks
Pritchard’s blog, posted Sept 27: By 6:00 P.M. the sanctuary was packed with 500 people. Although the congregation was mostly from Calvary, we had many visitors, including some of the protesters, one of whom sat on the front row. I opened the program by welcoming people, and (in light of the vocal protests) reminding them that the church is private property, the sanctuary is for the worship of God, and that anyone who disrupted the service would be removed. I did that at Stephen Bennett’s request. We had no problems of any kind during the service or afterwards.
Pastor Andrew led two songs, and I noticed that the mood was much different than the morning. It was as if the battle was over, and we could begin to relax and celebrate the Lord. People sang with great emotion and joy. After a brief introduction, Stephen Bennett spoke and sang for almost 50 minutes. He spoke with such conviction about his former life and his present life that no one could deny the reality of what Christ has done for him.
Bennett was received with applause as he stressed that while he disagreed with the protesters—who held signs that read “Bennett Lies Gay Youth Die”—he believes that they, too, could be transformed.
“I am not homophobic,” he said to a standing-room-only crowd. “Homophobic means I hate homosexuals, and I do not hate homosexuals. I love them because I was gay.” (Chicago Tribune)
There simply was not one word of hate in anything he said. It was love through and through. Several times he spoke with compassion about the protesters, saying that gays and lesbians are some of the most loving people you could ever meet. After the service concluded, a long line of people waited to greet him in the portico. The protester who sat on the front row greeted him kindly.
After the service, I was in the lobby greeting people when a woman from Calvary tugged my sleeve and said, “Pastor Ray, I’ve got someone I want you to meet.” With a big smile she introduced me to her friend, a woman who had come to protest. But when the woman from Calvary saw the woman on the picket line, she said, “What are you doing here?” It turns out their children attend the same school. So they talked, and the woman came to the service and said she appreciated Stephen Bennett’s message. When I left them, the two women were still talking together.
This event spurred conversation after conversation for me, not just on the radio, but with people at the grocery store, with friends, and neighbors. Since that Sunday I have felt the need to never be afraid to stand firm on God’s truth. If we are speaking truth it is possible to do it with conviction but without anger or hate. (Cotto)
Prayer, prep, and publicity
In Retrospect On September 26 we had people attend our church we haven’t been able to reach in our 90 years in Oak Park. Without exception, every report we have received has been positive. Even though they may have disagreed with us, those from the gay and lesbian community said they felt loved and welcomed. Many new visitors from our community continue to check out Calvary.
And our congregation was prepared. Prior to the event, we gave to church members hundreds of copies of The Truth about Same-Sex Marriage by Erwin Lutzer (Moody, 2004). The book answered many questions I wouldn’t have had time to answer myself, and it established a baseline of knowledge for the families of Calvary Church. Many fruitful discussions about spiritual matters began on that day. Some continue to the present time.
Looking back, I think the whole congregation marvels at what God did. I just received an e-mail, two months afterward, from someone who wanted me to know about a team in Missouri that prayed for us during the series. I truly believe more people prayed for our church, and for me personally, during that time than ever before. We all certainly felt the prayers.
Even the Sunday night protests did not detract from what happened inside the church. The publicity opened doors for the gospel that were never open before. If we had it to do over again, we would do some things better. But all of us who lived through those days look back and say, “That was a God thing.” And because God was in it, nothing but good came out of it.
Ray Pritchard is pastor of Calvary Memorial Church in Oak Park, Illinois. www.calvarymemorial.com
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The Truth About Same-Sex Marriage Excerpts from Ray Pritchard’s provocative sermon. Every person who is born on the earth is made in God’s image regardless of race, color, nationality, gender, age, or physical condition. Everyone who hears my words is made in God’s image. Everyone who lives in Oak Park—black or white, young or old, male or female, gay or straight—everyone is made in God’s image. We know that each person has worth and value because he or she is made in the very image of God. In preaching this sermon, you’ll notice that I’ve not spent any time trying to show you what is wrong. I’ve tried to show you what is right. Christian marriage is a divine object lesson through which the world learns something about the nature of Christ and his love for his bride, the church. Marriage is a divinely-intended mystery that displays profound spiritual truth through the union of one man and one woman. Before going any further, I want to comment on the “Us vs. Them” mentality that some people felt this Sunday. We know we have members of the gay and lesbian community who not only came to protest, many also who’ve come inside the sanctuary for the worship service. In moments like this, it’s easy to think that it’s Calvary vs. the gay community. But it’s not that way and it’s never been that way. If you look beneath the surface, you can see that we have a lot in common. All of us are: highly valued, deeply fallen, greatly loved. We’re all in the same boat. No matter who we are or where we come from, we’re all sinners desperately in need of God’s grace. Our sins may not be exactly the same, but we are all sinners nonetheless. |
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