Our family participated in a neighborhood garage sale this year. For days leading up to the big weekend, we looked for and gathered unused or unwanted stuff from bedrooms, closets, and the basement. We placed small stickers with prices on every item and carried them into the garage. Isn’t it amazing how “junk” items with little or no value will immediately transform into “merchandise” when you apply a tiny price tag?
Midway through our first hour of business, a grandmother examined our goods and focused on my daughter’s Barbie doll collection—a perfect gift for her granddaughter. Princesses, fashion models, rock stars, Ken, and a giant camper all sat together on a large table waiting for a new home. This nice lady shed her innocent image, though, when she offered an insultingly low dollar amount for the entire Barbie set.
I remembered all the “Thank you, thank you, thank yous” my daughter said, accompanied by big hugs, when she unwrapped each figure or accessory across a several year span of gifts. And I also recalled and totaled all the retail prices I paid for Barbie et al, which made me want to kick granny out of the garage. Or at least aggressively counter-offer. Until my daughter spoke.
“Okay,” she said.
“She means that’s how much she’ll pay for all of them,” I clarified for my surely-confused daughter.
“I know, Dad. And it’s okay with me.”
As the lady, with a smirk, packed her purchase into several plastic bags, I wondered how my daughter could relinquish her stuff so easily. And that experience made me question what kids today place a high value on—in other words, what are they most thankful for these days? If Barbie’s disposable status applies to other gifts as well, then maybe kids look at life different than adults might imagine.
So I asked them. Specifically, I sent a simple survey to parents requesting that they let their sons and daughters complete the sentence “I thank God for …” Participants’ ages ranged from five to 12 years old. Here’s a sampling of what kids expressed thankfulness for, in their words:
The Survey
“I thank God for …
… all the food He made.” … my mommy and my daddy.” … my ears to hear, eyes to see and things like that.” … a mom.” … food and for water” … nice friends and that I can play with them.” … dying on the cross for my sins, shelter, and pets.” … my friends.” … all the Things He made— like the Earth and everything on it!” … my house, that keeps me from the rain.” … giving me a life to live.” … my family.” … everything He does for me … giving everybody a special thing they are good at.” … PUP team (a group of students who run lights and sound at church) because it is fun and I learn a lot. And I love it when the kids are amazed at what we do and go OH… AH!” … Mr. Bob, my dog and my family.” … trees.” … my pets and for living things.” … giving us the baby Jesus.” … the Earth.” … holidays.” … taking my sins.” … letting me be alive.” … letting me have a mom and dad.” … everything that God created.” … protecting me and keeping me healthy.” … sending His Son from heaven to earth to die on the cross for my sins.” … making me and my great life.”
What’s Missing From the List
The responses surprised me because some items I expected were missing. Nowhere on the list did I see anything that resembled a gift, toy, or something to entertain/play with. In fact, with the exceptions of food and possibly pets, nothing on the list qualifies as merchandise of any type. Curious, isn’t it? In a society inebriated with the thrill of accumulation, the value of basic items in life seems to be on the rise in some kids. It almost seems counter-intuitive to the vast volume of messages that brand children as greed machines.
In her book What Kids Really Want That Money Can’t Buy, author Betsy Taylor identifies an interesting trend: “Parents worry that their children define their self-worth through possessions and have little or no ability to delay gratification. One national poll found that 85 percent of parents are worried that their kids are becoming too materialistic.” Throughout the rest of her book, Taylor counters such thinking as she shares data collected from thousands of children that shows what they place value on—with many categories focusing on relationships and love. Although her book is not a Christian work, she makes a case that explains why any child would likely thank God for family above fortune. And way above Barbie.
The survey I conducted seems to indicate that inside at least one diverse group of kids, stronger than any materialistic tendencies, beat hearts of thankfulness for the right stuff. Was there any difference between my group and the general population? Yes, one big difference: all the kids I asked attend church—specifically in a children’s ministry. However, parents asked them the question while at home and not at church, so there was no pressure to give a faith-friendly response. So why would attending a children’s ministry make a difference?
Two Big Reasons
First, kids who learn a lot about God gain a healthy perspective on life. Specifically, they understand that life is not “all about me.” In fact, life is all about God—which takes away a lot of pressure for individuals to impress others. Eliminate that pressure and materialism begins to disintegrate. This God-centered perspective also opens up their hearts to appreciate the sheer wonder of all that the Lord has created and the blessing of His provisions. And second, just as Taylor’s work could help us predict, children who regularly hear that God desires a relationship with them and freely offers His love will realize that they can have what they really want—which money just can’t buy. Kids who attend church have an advantage over many of their peers because they hear this message. Or at least they should.
Sure, all kids appreciate birthday and Christmas gifts; the group I heard from is no exception. They do, though, have their thankfulness to God appropriately prioritized. We can use their responses as a challenge to more deliberately help all children gain clarity on what to be deeply grateful for. In fact, consider asking children in your ministry how they would complete the sentence “I thank God for …” November is a great month for this activity.
What you’ll likely discover is a clear and present ministry opportunity—including openness in kids—to usher in a new day of thankfulness to God for what He provides. And when you make a relationship with God and His love clear for kids to understand, this new day will be closer than you think.
Big thanks to my special co-authors Jaclyn (5), Chris (10), Bethany (6), Melissa (10), Krista (10), Ashley (9), Lauren (5), Morgan (10), Robyn (10), Brooke (9), Blake (11), Tanner (9), Dawson (8), Brock (6), Philip (6), Erin (9), and Scott (12).
A New Day is the theme of the 2006 Promiseland Children’s Ministry Conference held March 15-17. [Click here for information.]
David Staal, senior editor of Today’s Children’s Ministry, serves as the president of Kids Hope USA, a national non-profit organization that partners local churches with elementary schools to provide mentors for at-risk students. Prior to this assignment, David led Promiseland, the children’s ministry at Willow Creek Community Church in Barrington, Illinois. David is the author of Words Kids Need to Hear (2008) and lives in Grand Haven, MI, with his wife Becky, son Scott, and daughter Erin.
Copyright © 2005 Promiseland.
