Pastors

Overcoming Self-Doubt

Even the most outwardly confident achievers often struggle with self-accept­ance.

Leadership Journal July 30, 2007

“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

“Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.

“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.

“Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.

“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.

“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.

“Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

“Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.”

Character Check Do I see myself as God sees me-as a beloved child?

In Business Terms for years I struggled with a low self-image. Mother married my father against her parents’ will. My father was an itinerant worker. He’d ride railroad freight cars to the Midwest, where he worked as a harvest laborer. Then he would return to his home in St. Paul and live on his wages. He was a kind person, soft-spoken, gentle; but my mother soon discovered that he was completely irresponsible. He never did support the family. My mother’s father set him up in business twice, but he never made it go.

When I was ten years old my parents divorced-in a little North Dakota town where nobody got divorced-and we moved into a flat where we shared a bathroom with twenty families. I can still hear the cockroaches crush in the door jamb when I closed the door.

I’ve been afraid of my father’s traits all my life. To this day, I feel there is something in me that wants to run as far away from responsibility as I can get.

After I became a Christian, a pastor helped me see my arrogance; that there was no substance to it, and I was covering up all those awful fears I had about myself and my inadequacy. He showed me how to study the Scriptures.

The verse that helped me turn the corner was Paul’s marvelous testimony that in his weakness Christ became strong. In an incredible passage, 1 Corinthians 15, Paul said, “Last of all [Christ] appeared to me also, as to one abnormally born. For I am the least of the apostles and do not even deserve to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God. But by the grace of God I am what I am.”

I grabbed that truth with both hands as my valid place of self-acceptance; by the grace of God, I am what I am.

—Richard C. Halverson

Something to Think About God doesn’t use us based on what we look like. He uses us based on the condition of our souls. – Judith Couchman

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