A Leader's Private Prayers - Christianity Today

It happened again and again: the impasse, talking in circles, limited information. In my early years, I thought all I needed was the best available information and some clear logic to make the best decision. Every good leader wants logic and information for important decisions.

But as I watched leaders who were consistently effective, I began to notice something else. Leading well eventually required more than the available information. The best leaders could sense when that point had been reached.

Instead of expecting to always have the final answer themselves, or otherwise forcing the issue to closure, they almost always paused—a moment behind closed eyes, a call for prayer, a break in the meeting, a bit of humor, seeking words from someone who had been silent. The list of methods was endless.

These leaders did not seem burdened or concerned when they exhausted knowledge and reason. The ragged edge that scared others seemed actually to assure them and guide them to wisdom. The best leaders knew after pausing who the wise person was for that moment—themselves or someone else. Such wisdom is a gift of the Spirit, and it is not lavished on leaders to cover their incompetence or indolence.

This wisdom is the gracious contribution of God to those who truly lead in order to serve. It is an answer to sincere prayer.

The following are prayers for some of those moments.

Ownership “Do not be afraid! For the battle is not yours, but God’s” (2 Chron. 20:15).

It is not my organization, it is yours, so I depend on your Spirit to show me what to do. These are not my people. I chose them and organized their efforts, but they do not belong to me. You entrusted them to my leadership, and they agreed to follow me. They deserve more and sometimes more of me than I can give them. What they really need is enormous. If I take their needs and hopes and fears on myself personally, I will be crushed instantly. They are yours.

So much depends on me, yet all I have for this task is whatever health and energy you give me—my eyes, ears, back, heart, lungs, knees, hands, feet, voice. I eat carefully, rest, exercise, and think positive thoughts, and still this wretched lump of clay fails me. You have creator’s rights on my body. You formed every miraculous part. What you take away is your business. I will do what I can with whatever physical capability you give me. It’s yours.

Yours is the kingdom, but we never seem to have enough resources! We are always lacking something, our dreams always mocking our reality, our vision always dancing around our poverty. You own everything, so what we need must seem small to you. Show me where to look for it, how to know it when I see it, how to get it, how to use it best, and especially how to be content with it. It is all yours, God. It’s not mine.

I want my words for others
to be your words for me.

Communication “May the words of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart be pleasing to you, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer” (Psalm 19:14).

It seems like nothing happens silently among us, God; everything requires words. There are so many words for every event, every dream, every meeting, every relationship, and especially every change. In fact, my leading seems to be mostly words: the words I hear or read and the words I speak or write.

I want the organization to change in order to change the world, but mostly what changes is our words. To do things differently, we need different ideas, and the ideas need the right words. What power the right words have, God! They bring our inner reality to life and make our external reality comprehensible.

Good words clarify, strengthen, and encourage us. The wrong words confuse us and leave us weakened and discouraged. Oh, Lord, give each of us the good words and the good listening we need to be a great organization.

You are such a listener, God! Help me listen to your Spirit so I will be able to listen to the unspoken messages people bring to me. I want to listen the way you do.

Make me genuinely accessible. People come with their words, but they hope I will hear their hearts. Whether they speak or write, teach me how to be truly quiet inside and actively listen. Help me open my mind and heart, not just my office door. I cannot lead well if I cannot listen well.

I need your messages, for the organization and for those outside. If I speak and write accurately and convincingly, people’s ideas will change and the organization will advance. If I speak unclearly or weakly, it will all get worse. My silence is better than wrong words, so guide me, Lord. Help me to hear and to speak the truth in love.

I want my words for others to be your words for me. I know that you do most of your teaching and nurturing in my life when you are preparing me to present ideas to others. I need your Spirit to shape my thoughts. Speak to me, and speak through me.

Let me listen to the words of their spirits. And let me speak words from your Spirit.

Compassion “Because of the Lord’s great love, we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail” (Lam. 3:22).

Lord, I am called to lead the whole organization forward, but I am also responsible for the welfare of each person along the way. The organization exists to help build great people by serving people’s real needs with excellence. We must start with our own needs, God. For so many of us to labor together and serve so many, we need fair policies that express your compassion.

Sometimes what seems wise policy for everyone in general also seems to hurt someone in particular. What is the proper compassion for the individual who cannot contribute what we really need in order to reach our goals? If someone is not carrying his fair share of the load, it damages and discourages the others. What is the proper compassion for the individual whom we did not serve well? If I make a compassionate exception for one employee or one customer, I can easily force an unfair hardship on others.

Lord, I cannot always discern the genuine problems that we should try to alleviate from the imagined or even fraudulent ones. I need your light to ensure that in attempting to show compassion we aren’t simply being gullible.

I need your Spirit to give me the right sense of compassion. But even more, I need keen judgment to balance the needs of each individual member with the needs of all of us together and the needs of those we exist to serve in your name.

Help me to remember that with you mercy always triumphs over judgment. Your goal is for us to become like you, but when we fall short, your banner over us is loving compassion. Help me to mirror that compassion, both in policies and in exceptions.

Give me the courage to lead with wise compassion.

Anger “Don’t sin by letting your anger gain control over you” (Eph. 4:26).

You are slow to anger, God. Mine too often and too easily erupts when provocation hits, unleashing my sharp tongue or my vengeance. Sometimes it leaves slashing scars that never disappear from the souls of those I care about. Turned on myself, my anger leaves me depressed. I need your Spirit to keep it under control. Protect me from myself.

When my anger burns hot, make me sensitive to what is really happening. If I am just venting to relieve my own frustration and insecurity, help me deal with the underlying cause in me. Help me learn the heart habit of pausing to check with you when I feel anger rising.

Give me the motivating power of your righteous anger, and purge from me the petulant destruction of selfish anger or anger at myself. I want to express anger in a way that will motivate people to great accomplishment, not belittle them in order to make me feel better.

I have been yelled at, falsely accused, and demeaned. It made me feel less like you, God, and it discouraged me. I do not want to treat people that way. I want to build them up and inspire them. I want to remember that these people do not exist to absorb pain from me. I exist for them and to help them be strong. Do not let my anger diminish them or me.

I do not want to deny or try to suppress my own anger or anyone else’s. By your grace, I want to know the anger, learn from it, and express it for good. I do not want to lose my temper and waste all that power. I want to focus the angry energy where it will accomplish something positive.

I invite your Spirit to show me how you see each event in my leadership. I want to see what you see and feel what you feel. If there is anger …

Give me your anger, God, against what is evil, not against myself or the people I love and serve.

Change “No one pours new wine into old wineskins” (Luke 5:37).

Why can’t you give me a bridge to the future, Lord? Instead, you make me jump for it. You make me let go and leap by faith. You did it when I wanted a new relationship with you. You have done it repeatedly in my career and my personal life. The new future you show me is beautiful, and the jump is reasonable, but it is always a leap of faith. So here I am again, asking for faith to make another leap.

This is a leadership leap, God. It will do no good if I make it and no one else even tries. I am not leading unless someone is following. Is anyone else going to leap with me? I am depending on you to spread this faith to others.

Is this change even possible? I need to feel sure I have not missed a fatal indicator. There is a fine line between faith and folly. Maybe we can’t leap this far; two leaps won’t work across a gap. Protect me from leading us off the edge.

Getting to this new future will change things for all of us. I cannot foresee all the changes, but I know there will be outcomes we did not intend. Don’t let people worry unnecessarily about the unknowns, for if they hold back too much, we will not succeed.

You put us where we are, and how you got us to this place is part of our tradition. Where we need to go looks uncertain, and it feels scary and even wrong in a way to lose and destroy what you have provided. Give us pilgrims’ hearts, God. Do not let us clutch the present comfort and safety because it will not stay that way forever. We must leave this good place and move on, by faith—the same kind of faith that got us here.

If this change is going to happen, I need the right words from you—words to reduce anxiety, increase confidence, and intensify the feeling that we need to do it. Give me words that will show respect for our past as we head for our future together. But above all …

Oh, Lord, give me faith for this leap to the future. And make this a leadership leap, not a solo jump.

Richard Kriegbaum was for 12 years president of Fresno Pacific University in California.