(Editor’s note:Leadership‘s longtime friend and sage Fred Smith, Sr., died on Friday, August 17, 2007 at age 91. Smith was an accomplished businessman, church leader, and mentor at the time Leadership journal was launched in 1980. He was featured in the first issue, and we have welcomed his sage advice in the journal’s pages many times since.)
When his health prevented him from leaving home for lectures and group meetings, Fred began inviting young leaders to his house for a weekly breakfast. That led to a website (http://breakfastwithfred.com) and new interaction with a new generation of leaders through his “Ask Fred” e-mails.
Even at his advanced age, Fred was learning what’s really important in life and ministry. Here an excerpt from Fred’s last article in 2005, the distillation of Fred’s final years as a mentor.)
It must be awfully safe to write to a 90-year-old, because I get lots of questions. Most of them deal with hard issues of character, spiritual growth, and suffering. I suspect many think of me as playing in my second overtime, so they assume that the answers may be coming from a little closer to heaven.
They tell me they believe I will give them an honest answer and that at my age I should have more answers than they do. I do my best to thoughtfully respond. But sometimes I just have to say, “I have been struggling with that same issue for all of my adult life, and I will be praying for you.”
Pastors write anonymously of painful experiences with staff, boards, and members: “How do I know when it’s time to move on? How do I know that God is speaking and not just some board members who want me to leave?”
Business executives ask about ethics and passion: “I am a key executive with a Fortune 500 company and hate what I do. My family depends on my income, and I feel locked into a life that I dread.” They want to know how a Christian approaches such decision-making.
What do the “Ask Fred” questions teach me? I’ve come to five conclusions.
1. People need encouragement. Truett Cathey says, “How do you identify someone who needs encouragement? Answer: That person is breathing.”
There is breakdown in the church, in the family, and in the meaningfulness of work. All three arenas were given to us as blessings, but our culture has turned them into sources of hurt. Some pastors lead like CEOs instead of shepherds. But people long for shepherds.
Even though he headed a large institution, Pope John Paul II came across as a shepherd. He had character and love. The character appealed to young people-he was the rock. The love was the generous spirit he displayed.
When our politicians wave, it’s in a way that says, “I hope you like me.” John Paul didn’t wave, he gave a blessing. People felt that they were being blessed by seeing him, that the encounter wasn’t for him, but for them. That’s encouragement.
And when he died, the occasion attracted 5 million people to the largest voluntary gathering in history.
2. Truth telling and wisdom are in short supply. Dr. Phil is a runaway hit because he “tells it like it is.” He listens, quickly diagnoses, and then lets them have it. They line up hours ahead of the taping to have an opportunity to be confronted by him. What they define as truth telling is actually a mixture of psychology and entertainment. Scripture commands us to “tell the truth, in love.” Television ratings aren’t mentioned.
As a parent, I noticed the striking transition in my role from power figure to wisdom figure. I was no longer “the boss” but “the consultant.” In the “Ask Fred” questions, I clearly see men and women searching for trustworthy wisdom that comes without strings and without a hidden agenda.
“My dad is dying from lung cancer. What should I be saying to him and what should I be asking him to say to me?” I replied that if I were he, I’d want my children to remind me of specific incidents where I influenced them positively. I’d want to hear from them that my life has counted and that I am a child of God who is loved and eagerly awaited by those who have gone before me. I’d want to tell them that they are my significance. I’d want them to know that I love them. And I’d want them to know that knowing God is a worthy passion.
3. People are hungry for spiritual direction. “I find myself focusing on unsuitable amusements. What do you think that I should do?” The questioner mentioned that he had been toying with these “amusements” for nearly 10 years, but thinks it may have become a problem.
Run, man, run! I look at so many young men and women who are making junkyards of their old age by the foolish choices they’re making today. Many are in biblically based churches but living like pagans. There is a serious disconnect between what they know and how they live.
In striving to grow churches, we sometimes create an infrastructure of specialists who “deal” with the problems of the congregation. We are supposed to be a living organism that is to minister to one another. We are to bear one another’s burdens, yet we are afraid to admit that the smile is the result of artificial whitening.
They write to me because they want someone to point them to God’s Word.
4. Getting old doesn’t mean getting more spiritual. Who I am now is just more of Fred. Being sick doesn’t make you saintly.
You might expect me to tell of a major shift in spiritual perspective, or of deep scriptural revelations as I get near the finish line. Not so. I still struggle to make that connection between head and heart. I still seek to know Christ as my friend Ben Haden does. I still want the freedom and grace that faithful friend Steve Brown preaches about.
But I have learned that this is a period of spiritual confirmation, not necessarily spiritual transformation. God is real. He is interested in my maturity. He is not interested in my convenience, or even my comfort. He is teaching me to be patient in my suffering and positive in my attitude.
The writings of the ancient mystics teach me to see these times as “God’s Gymnasium.” The Bible verses that I learned as a child in the King James Version come back to me in the night, encouraging, disciplining, and quieting.
5. Decide to be helpful. That sounds simple, perhaps. But it isn’t easy. Too many of my friends have grown old, not just older, by becoming grumpy old men. They discounted their contribution by writing a sloppy final chapter.
There is joy in this journey. Seeing the man turn from his prodigality and return to faith, family, and friends brings deep abiding gratitude. Hearing of gifts being used to impact and influence leads me to give thanks to God. Knowing that my uniqueness is from Him, and not from me, keeps me humble and appreciative.
My mother who raised five sons in the mill district of Nashville repeatedly told us to “never grow weary in well-doing.” In this last stage, my body may tire, but I pray for the strength to never grow spiritually weary. As physical vitality wanes, I pray that my inner man is being built up.
Even as heaven grows nearer, I still feel the excitement of doing the work that I am gifted and called to do.
When I was told that death was hours away, I wasn’t afraid. Just curious. While death didn’t occur at that moment, I know that it is inevitable. I want my life to be seen as a blessing. I want to leave a legacy, not just an estate. I want to be found faithful. Bless.
Fred Smith was a long-time consulting editor of Leadership.
We have a Fred thread running at our blog, Our of Ur. Your comments are welcome there.
Copyright © 2007 by the author or Christianity Today/Leadership Journal.Click here for reprint information on Leadership Journal.
