Stormie Omartian’s books—including The Power of a Praying Wife, The Power of a Praying Woman, and Praying God’s Will for Your Life—dominate the Christian best-seller list and are used in small groups and Sunday school classes around the world. Yet she blushes when someone calls her an expert on prayer. “A lot of people think because I’ve written books on prayer that I know something special,” she says. “The truth is, I’m just desperate for God.”
Raised by a mentally ill mother who verbally and physically abused her, Omartian, 59, spent much of her teens and twenties searching for the love and acceptance she never received at home, which led to suicide attempts, alcohol and drug abuse, and failed relationships. Nothing helped her insecurity and pain—until a friend took her to church. There she discovered the acceptance she’d longed for through a relationship with Jesus Christ.
Prayer and total surrender to God healed Omartian’s brokenness, helped her forgive her mother, and turned around her once troubled marriage (she and her husband, record producer Michael Omartian, have been married now for 29 years). Her faith also carried Omartian through a yearlong recovery after she nearly died recently from a burst appendix. Through it all, she has learned much about the central role of prayer in every Christian’s life.
How did prayer help you overcome your traumatic past?
My journey from brokenness to wholeness didn’t happen overnight; in fact, it took 14 years from the time I began the process until I was able to help others with the same problems. When I was a new Christian, I thought once you received Jesus into your life, that was it—no more problems. The truth is, my life here on earth still needed work.
But my best friend since high school came to Christ the same year I did. Because we had similarly dysfunctional families, we understood each other’s prayer needs. We began praying regularly together over the phone. Our prayers for each other were instrumental in our spiritual growth and emotional healing.
As I matured in my faith, I knew I wanted to forgive my mother. However, unforgiveness as deeply rooted as mine must be unraveled one layer at a time. I had to deliberately pray, “Lord, my desire is to forgive my mother. Help me to forgive her completely.” Being in touch with the heart of God through prayer for my mother brought such forgiveness in me that when she died a few years later, I had absolutely no bad feelings toward her.
How did you learn to pray so passionately?
It was because I was desperate for God—for his help in overcoming the scars of my past. Every time I read something in the Bible about prayer, I did what it said. For example, the apostle James says we don’t have because we don’t ask (4:2), so I thought, I might as well go ahead and ask! But James 4:3 adds, “When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives.” I realized I have to be obedient to God if I expect him to answer.
Is praying specific prayers important?
I think it is. There’s nothing wrong with telling God what you want, but you’ve always got to pray, “God, more than anything else, I want what you want.” I try to be honest about what I long for. But first I go to God in confession to make sure my attitude is right.
What if a person feels his or her prayers don’t sound “good enough”?
Oh, I feel that way, too. I’ve often thought, I’m nobody. Why would God answer my prayers? But thank God he’s not impressed by eloquence; he’s impressed by our longing for him.
But what about when God doesn’t seem to answer?
I have a family member for whose salvation I pray—a wonderful person who’s closed off to the gospel. When I think of this person’s background, I understand the reasons. But I wonder, Lord, I’ve been praying for this person to come to you for 25 years. How much longer? But I can’t stop praying, even though I don’t see an answer.
Sometimes it feels as though our prayers aren’t heard, that we’re babbling into space or that our words hit the ceiling. But if you pray in Jesus’ name, those prayers are heard, and they are doing something—even if you don’t see God’s answers this side of heaven. Sometimes I think God allows things to go on and on so our roots can grow strong in him. It requires us to lay down our desires and say, “Not my will, God, but yours be done.” When we’re burdened about something, God either will change the situation—or our heart.
What about fasting?
The Bible is filled with references to prayer and fasting as the way to receive God’s wisdom and power. I remember one particularly rough week when Michael went on a business trip and my three kids were spending the weekend with friends. The empty house only magnified how empty I felt. I had known for a while that my marriage was in trouble. So I told God, “I need answers. I’m not eating until I hear something from you.” I stayed in my bed, read my Bible, prayed, journaled, and fasted. I knew if I wanted to see a breakthrough, fasting was the way to do it.
It’s not about works or manipulating God into responding; it’s about putting God first. Every time I felt a hunger pang, I’d pray about my marriage. I’m sure God had been speaking to me about my marriage for years, but it wasn’t until I began to fast that I really heard him.
And it revived your marriage.
Yes. Instead of praying, “God, make Michael more this, less that,” I prayed, “God, change me to become the person you want me to be—and change Michael to become the person you want him to be.” It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but I feel as though God’s redeemed our relationship because of my being able to pray for it. And my recent near-death experience from a burst appendix transformed Michael into a praying husband.
What are some other key principles that you’ve learned?
I challenge people to think, What could I accomplish today if I allowed God to work through me? What would I like to see? Think of something you want to do beyond what you can do, and pray for that.
Too often we underestimate prayer’s power. When you realize that power, you realize you can’t afford not to pray. The more you have to do, the more time you should spend praying. And that, in turn, blesses what you’re doing.
Jesus said, “I came so that [you] may have life, and have it abundantly” (John 10:10). That’s the kind of life he desires for us! But our best efforts to break out of our negative patterns can’t happen without God’s power. And that can’t happen without prayer.
Adapted from Today’s Christian Woman (July/August 2002), © 2002 Ginger Kolbaba. Used by permission.
