Leader's Insight: How Integrity Grows

Our friendships not only define us, but develop and energize us. I have found a new, profitable companion—Francois Fenelon, the French mystic of three hundred years ago. He and Oswald Chambers are my daily counsel. They differ in that Oswald Chambers was a teacher expounding principles to a group with each person applying it to himself or herself, while Fenelon was a mentor to an individual and focused on specific situations.

For 41 years I have read Chambers's My Utmost for His Highest. I discovered Fenelon's The Seeking Heart a short five years ago. After just a few pages, I was hooked. Fenelon was a contemporary and friend of Jeanne Guyon, and both suffered for their faith—she in prison for ten years and he exiled to oblivion after rising to one of the highest offices in the French court.

Here are some themes of Fenelon's that have been most helpful to me. With our lives rooted in these immutable principles, we can be like the willow tree, with branches and leaves flexible to the changing winds and the roots stable in the realities of life.

1. Self-love is subtle.

I have a friend who points out how self-love constantly changes to keep from being recognized. It is like the way a virus changes to avoid extermination. For example, self-love can come in the guise of guilt: "How could anyone as good as I do anything that bad?" Or a desire for purity might be evidence of self-love—in our wanting God to make us a showcase example, desiring to sit on the right hand of God. Even the desire to be significant, rather than the desire to do significant things, can be a form of self-love.

Fenelon says, "Do not listen to the voice that suggests you live for yourself. The voice of self-love is even more powerful than the voice of the serpent." Again, "Self-love brings great anxiety." Or, "You will be tempted to speak out in a humble tone of voice to tell others of your problems. Watch out for this. A humility that is still talkative does not run very deep. When you talk too much, your self-love relieves his sense of shame a little."

Fenelon goes on to say, "Self-love is proud of its spiritual accomplishments…. While on the outside you seem to be only concerned with the glory of God, the unconquered self nature deep within is causing you trouble. I am sure that you want God to be glorified, but you want his glory to be expressed through the testimony that he has made you perfect. Let me tell you that this feeds self-love. It is simply a covetous guise of the self nature."

When I read that, I remembered attending Billy Graham's sixtieth birthday in Charlotte, North Carolina, when dignitaries, both in industry and religion, had lavishly praised him. He stood to acknowledge their remarks and opened by quoting the Scripture, "God will not share his glory with another," and then asked that they not tempt him with their praise even though he appreciated it tremendously. It was a high moment of worship.

2. Suffering is useful.

Fenelon speaks of suffering as God's exercise program, his gymnasium, and I can hear myself complaining to God, "You're getting me muscle-bound."

Here are some excerpts: "Suffering is necessary for all of us. You will be purified by dying to your own desires and will. Let yourself die. You have excellent opportunities for this to happen. Don't waste them." For years I have liked the saying, "Never lose the good from a bad experience."

He goes on: "My God, help us to see Jesus as our model in all suffering. You made him a man of sorrows. Teach us how useful sorrow is."

Fenelon writes, "God never makes you suffer unnecessarily. He intends for your suffering to heal and purify you. The hand of God hurts you as little as it can. The yoke that God gives is easy to bear if you accept it without struggling to escape."

The yoke, I believe, is easy and comfortable as long as we pull together with the Lord, but when we try to escape, the yoke becomes more like the bit in the horse's mouth. Sometimes we hear people trying to define the difference between God's discipline and God's blessing. I don't believe that we can know, at the time, which is which. Indeed, often as we look back we can see that the discipline was the blessing.

3. One test of relation with God is peace.

Recently I was talking to a disturbed Christian business executive. I suggested that he immediately find a knowledgeable theologian who could help him find the spiritual source of his turmoil. Any Christian without peace needs attention.

Fenelon recommends, "Encourage peace, become deaf to your overactive imagination. Your spinning imagination will harm your health and make your spiritual life very dry. You worry yourself sick for no good reason. Inner peace and the sweet presence of God are chased away by restlessness."

Fenelon also writes, "Peace and comfort are to be found only in simple obedience. Remain at peace, for peace is what God wants for you no matter what is happening. There is in fact a peace of conscience which sinners should enjoy as they are repenting. Suffering should be peaceful and tempered with God's comfort."

Peace does not mean absence of tumult; it can mean security amid the tumult. When I was a small child in church, I heard a minister tell the story of how a wealthy man wanted a picture of peace. Various artists tried different approaches, from a quiet pastoral scene to moonlit nights on the water, but the artist who won painted a bird's nest in a small tree on the edge of a waterfall.

4. Growth and change are the work of the Cross.

Fenelon has helped me to think of the work of the Cross—redemption—as the constant tension of growth and change as the old nature gives way to the new. It is a process that starts with the new birth and ends at the close of our earthly journey, by which time we are, we hope, more mature in the likeness of Christ. I'm reminded of the oft-quoted prayer: "Lord, I'm not what I ought to be and I'm not what I'm going to be, but thank you, Lord, I'm not what I used to be."

Some well-meaning Christians confuse the thorn and the cross. The thorn, to me, is something God puts in our lives that keeps us conscious of our dependence on him. Paul had the thorn; Jacob had the limp. The thorn is a constant reminder, but each day I must make the conscious decision to shoulder the cross and go forward.

Fenelon writes, "Bear your cross. Do you know what this means? Learn to see yourself as you are and accept your weakness until it pleases God to heal you. If you die a little every day of your life, you won't have too much to worry about on your final day."

Then with assurance he says, "You and I are nothing without the cross. I agonize and cry when the cross is working within me, but when it is over I look back in admiration for what God has accomplished. Of course I am then ashamed I bore it so poorly."

5. Give grace to yourself and others.

One of Fenelon's biographers noted, "He was a pleasant person to be around. He had an admirable presence." I have come to think of him as having the presence of Billy Graham, the optimism of Norman Vincent Peale, and the serving spirit of Mother Teresa, though I am sure Fenelon would rap my knuckles for writing that.

Regarding self, Fenelon writes, "Do not be surprised to find yourself overly sensitive, impatient, proud and self-willed. Realize that this is your natural disposition. Bear with yourself but do not flatter yourself into thinking you are better than you are but wait on God's timing to transform it. Stop at once when your activities become too hurried. Do not be eager, even for good things."

Regarding others, Fenelon writes, "The daily standards that you live by should not be relaxed in any way, yet you must deal gently with the faults of others. Learn to be lenient with the less important matters but maintain your firmness over that which is essential. Remember that true firmness is gentle, humble, and calm. A sharp tongue, a proud heart, and an iron hand have no place in God's work. Wisdom sweetly orders all things."

"Stay away from people who sound good but never exhibit true fruit of the inward walk. Their talk is deceptive and you will almost always find them restless, fault-finding and full of their own thoughts. These spiritual busybodies are annoyed with everything and are almost always annoying."

As I read Fenelon, I could almost hear him encouraging the readers of his letters the way Paul encouraged the church: "Follow me as I follow Christ." Run the race with patience and complete the course and your reward will be "Well done, good and faithful servant."

This article was originally printed in The Pastor's Soul Volume 5: Leading With Integrity, copyright © 1999. The full-length version is available to members of the Christianity Today Library (CT Library) where most of the Leadership archives are housed.

Fred Smith, Sr. was a consulting editor of Leadership and a respected leader in business and ministry. His final book, Breakfast with Fred (Regal Books), was released in September 2007, just after his death.

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