The look of bewilderment and hurt in my friend’s eyes caught me off guard as we ate lunch together last April.
It was just after Easter, yet that look still remains vivid in my memory five months later. And our conversation helps illustrate the spirit and purpose behind “Off the Agenda,” the new blog we’ve launched here at Building Church Leaders.
I had just asked my friend, a veteran pastor leading a small congregation, what one thing was keeping him up at night. I didn’t get the usual type of response, such as dealing with a board fight or a struggle to increase members’ giving. Instead, he looked down toward the table for a moment, shifted in his seat, and took a deep breath.
“Well,” he said quietly, the look quickly setting into his eyes. “I’m really struggling with how we as a church family can’t seem to integrate church life into all aspects of our life.”
My friend – we’ll call him Gary – then delivered a lengthy explanation, but here was the general order of events: The previous week was Easter week, the one time each year when those who love and follow Christ observe the drama, confusion, heartache, and joy of Jesus’ death and resurrection. Gary didn’t even flinch when he developed the schedule for the week, given the significance of the season.
There were the preparations and execution for the Palm Sunday service, followed by the usual Wednesday night meal, prayer service, and choir rehearsal; a Maundy Thursday service that included the washing of feet; a Good Friday service to observe Christ’s death on the Cross; and then a celebratory Easter Sunday to proclaim the Good News of Christ’s resurrection.
Leading up to the week, suggestions tainted with frustration about the number of commitments flew at Gary, and not just from members, but from staff, too. In one case, a lay leader long-dedicated to serving the church approached Gary and told him she would not be able to help with the Thursday night service and preparations for Sunday because a dear friend had scheduled for her to play tennis.
“Tennis?” Gary said to me with a puzzled expression.
The week went forward with the schedule mostly intact. Things mostly went according to plan. But I could see he was hurt. Why do people make church a category, just one to be shuffled around between other categories of work, and family, and social events? he asked. Why is it people can’t even switch that mentality off for one week, the week that defines us as a body of believing people?
As we conversed, one thing became quickly apparent to me. Outside of his wife, Gary didn’t have anyone to share this with. The staff wasn’t on board with his plan, so how would they relate? Church leaders and members mostly had their minds made up. Who could Gary go to?
Maybe you can relate. Maybe you’ve been involved in ministry a short time, or a really long time, and there are disappointments that you just wish you could share with others who understand. Maybe you’ve encountered a success, and you want to encourage others. Maybe your church is struggling to resolve problems of scheduling events, or recruiting volunteers, or developing a worship style, or hiring a staff member, and you just need ideas or a fresh perspective.
This is where we envision “Off The Agenda” coming alongside you. We want this blog to be the place where church leaders can congregate and have a conversation. We want leaders of all types – veterans and rookies, senior pastors and volunteer leaders alike – to freely come and share their heart’s desires, challenges, hurts, and successes.
We don’t want it to become focused only on problems. But we do want it to be honest and accomplish what Building Church Leaders has been accomplishing for nearly 10 years – to equip and energize church leaders for effective service.
We liken “Off The Agenda,” to those occasional conversations that take place in the parking lot after a long meeting at the church. Or ones you’ve maybe encountered at a conference of peers. Or moments like the one I described with Gary. These are conversations where those involved know and relate to each other, respect the work they’re doing, and lend a compassionate ear, as well as an encouraging, Spirit-led word.
For just this purpose, we’ve assembled a team who guides both Building Church Leaders, as well as this blog. Take a moment to check them out. I know they represent a broad, respected selection of thinking on various aspects of church leadership.
Even more importantly, I hope you’ll join in. Our conversations should be good ones. I hope they help us look into each other’s eyes.
And I pray that as we do, we find wisdom, empathy, and hope from each other.
