I recently sat down with Jennifer Oxford, regional leader for Student Impact, the youth ministry of Willow Creek Community Church in South Barrington, Illinois. Jen has five years of ministry under her belt and lots of experience orienting volunteers into a world that is new to them. Here’s an excerpt from an interview with Jen that we just published in our Orientation Guide for Volunteer Youth Leaders.
What advice would you give a volunteer who is just starting out?
The first six months are very awkward. It’s like going back to junior high or high school. You’re the new person without a lunch table. You go home every week and think, What am I doing? But even those confusing times help you become a better leader, because you can empathize with the new students coming into the group. And it does get better.
I would also suggest that someone starting out should mentally commit to serving for two years. Once you get through the initial awkwardness, you start to sense real ministry happening. If you don’t wait out the awkward time, you won’t truly get into the heart of ministry. It’s worth it to persevere, but it takes time to transition into youth ministry.
What should a new youth worker expect?
[Students] end up learning because of who you are, rather than what you’re teaching. That’s why it’s important to commit to two years – because your life speaks volumes. Eventually, they’ll begin to learn from the Bible and through spiritual disciplines, because they see you learning that way and teaching them. It’s all about relationships and time.
Is there a specific kind of person who is best suited to work with students?
In many youth groups, you see leaders who are in college or in their early to mid-twenties – you know, “hip” people. But I recruit parents. I recruit people from all walks of life. The person God calls to youth ministry is the person he has a plan for. I have some students who don’t have a strong parental presence in their lives; having an older, “un-hip” adult lead their small group meets a tremendous need. If you feel passionate about working with youth, then you’re the person that’s supposed to be there, whether you’re 20 or 70.
What are the difficult issues that youth volunteers will face?
When you start working with youth, you become aware that they are confronting serious realities. I’ve worked with students who are dealing with the death of a parent; struggling with their friends who are starting to party; encountering drugs, pregnancy, sex, rape, and jail. Some are thinking about suicide, or grieving friends who’ve committed suicide. These issues don’t affect every student, but many will know someone who is affected.
Does being a leader include correcting, maybe even rebuking a student?
Definitely. If you have junior high students or even high school freshman, there will be a goof-off factor, and you need to find a balance between building community and teaching the lesson you’ve planned. With some topics, students goof off because it hits too close to home. When that happens, you need to discern the importance of your topic. If it’s worth pursuing, you need to say, “No, guys, we’re going to settle down and talk through this.” Other weeks, they might need to have some fun, and you can scrap the agenda.
What’s one piece of advice you’d give to someone just starting in youth ministry?
Step out in faith and just give it a try. I don’t think there’s anywhere else where you can make such an incredible difference in someone’s life. You experience highs and lows, but you are also given many opportunities to do God’s work.
