To paraphrase Rick Warren: Your ministry is not about you.
It would be easy to think just the opposite. It gets confusing, especially when we hear people ask us, “How is your ministry going?” or “I appreciate your ministry to children so much.”
And while we are Jesus’ disciples and co-laborers with Him, it really is not supposed to be about us. But we sometimes start thinking that way. And really, who could blame us?
Your ministry is a gift to God, and a gift to the kids who receive God’s love through you. It also, at times, blesses you. You give, and yet you receive—fulfillment, awareness of God’s presence, His very real help as you face the struggles and challenges of ministry. But really, ministry is meant to point others (those we minister to, and those who simply see us doing it) toward God, not toward us.
One of my favorite verses is one that is repeated through the Scriptures, like the hook in a pop song. “The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love” (Psalm 103:8, and elsewhere).
Effective ministry reflects this essential character of God. We are Christ to those we minister to, so we are compassionate, gracious, slow to anger, rich in love. We cannot manufacture this no matter how hard we try. True ministry simply flows out of our relationship with God. It is not something we power up to do; it is not about the tasks. Ministry is an expression of our love for God, inspired by his love for us. We are simply a conduit through which God’s love can flow to others.
Two months ago, I wrote about solitude as a spiritual practice. It’s not just a nice idea, or even the luxury that some people think it is. The contrary is true; it’s the essential foundation for effective ministry. When we come to God to be alone and still, we realize that the world keeps on spinning even when we get off the treadmill. We appreciate viscerally that our ministry is not about us. We’re reminded that we are not the builder, but rather, tools in the builder’s hands. Time in stillness and solitude drives this point home.
The idea of this progression of solitude, community and ministry came from an article in Leadership Journal (Spring, 1995 issue) by Henri Nouwen, in which he noted: “Solitude is where spiritual ministry begins. That’s where Jesus listened to God. That’s where we listen to God … solitude always calls us to community.”
So last month, I wrote about community as the next key element in a strong ministry. We’re not meant to live the Christian life alone, and we need the encouragement and admonition of our brothers and sisters to help us grow, to strengthen our service. We are a part of the body. Community is the people around us, not those assigned by a program or an org chart, but the people we actually do life with. Our family, our friends, those we love.
And a healthy community is made up of people who know they are beloved by God. How do they know that? They’ve spent time in solitude with God, being filled up by His love. And then, they are gracious and compassionate to each other. They love each other, not just with words but with deeds, being slow to anger with each other. They show radical grace to one another, because they recognize the beloved-ness of each person.
Nouwen says, “Why is it so important that solitude come before community? If we do not know we are the beloved sons and daughters of God, we’re going to expect someone in the community to make us feel that way. They cannot. We’ll expect someone to give us that perfect, unconditional love. But community is not loneliness grabbing onto loneliness: ‘I’m so lonely, and you’re so lonely.’ It’s solitude grabbing onto solitude: ‘I am the beloved; you are the beloved; together we can build a home.'”
These two building blocks, Nouwen wrote (and I have found his observations to be accurate in my own life), are necessary prerequisites to true ministry. He writes: “All the disciples of Jesus are called to ministry. Ministry is not, first of all, something that you do (although it calls you to do many things). Ministry is something that you have to trust. If you know you are the beloved, and if you keep forgiving those with whom you form community and celebrate their gifts, you cannot do other than minister. Healing ministry can be expressed in two words: gratitude and compassion.”
So what does ministry look like, when it flows out of solitude and community?
Nouwen writes of “healing ministry.” You may think your ministry to children is simply about providing care, or teaching them truth. You may not see it as healing. But think about the children you minister to. They live in a stressful world, full of dangers and uncertainties. They get teased or ridiculed in school, maybe criticized by teachers or even parents. Some of them come to you rather wounded. You may not know what struggles they face, but your hour or two with them each week can be a chance to offer the healing touch of God’s love, the reassurance that your room is a safe place. While you may be teaching them Bible stories or trying to impart wisdom about morality and theology, you also communicate God’s love to them. Be mindful of the fact that the goal of your ministry to children is to let God’s love flow through you. To show them, in human form, what it looks like to be gracious, compassionate, slow to anger, rich in love. The children in your care need the healing touch of God. But you cannot give away what you do not have.
And ministry, if it flows out of solitude and community, can be something that is healing to us—especially when it is freed from our expectations. We don’t look to our ministry to provide meaning or importance; we’ve found that in solitude with God. But loving others often heals our wounds as well as theirs.
How do you approach your ministry? Rather than focusing on tasks, could you ask God to show you how to express gratitude and compassion? If we have spent time in solitude, letting God love us, we’ll be grateful. If we are part of community where we have been shown compassion, we’ll be better able to pass that compassion on to those we minister to.
We often get so caught up in effectiveness, in tasks, in results. We want to achieve. But healing ministry is not about your achievements. It is the overflow of a heart filled with the love of God, and supported in loving community.
Keri Wyatt Kent is the author of several books, and a popular retreat leader and speaker. Learn more at www.keriwyattkent.com
©2008 Keri Wyatt Kent
