Margaret Feinberg is an up-and-coming Christian voice who speaks at churches and conferences. She has also written more than a dozen books, most recently The Sacred Echo. BCL’s Rachel Willoughby asked her to share about reaching the next generation, finding your gift, and false perceptions.
You’ve written and thought a lot about the generation of recent college graduates and the difficult transition to adulthood. What can church leaders do to better support twenty-somethings?
One of the most important things church leaders need to recognize is how much the world has changed over the last few decades. In 1970, the average age at marriage was around 22 years old. Today it’s pushing 28, so many young adults are no longer graduating with what I like to call the “MRS Degree.” They’re graduating from high school or college unmarried and most likely saddled with debt. They no longer just a need a job, they need a career.
When these young adults come to church, they see activities in the bulletin for others–Valentine’s Dinner, Marriage Retreat, Youth Group, Senior’s Gathering–but all too often they don’t find anything for themselves, leaving them to wonder, “What’s here for me? And why should I get involved?” Someone in the church will try to point them to a singles’ group, but the last thing young adults want to be called is “single.” (Say “young professionals,” or just “young adults.”) So unfortunately, they leave and don’t come back.
If they do stay, they’re kindly asked to serve in the nursery or stack chairs. But leaders need to reach out to young adults and offer them opportunities to use the gifts God has given them, not just use them as grunt labor. Sometimes young adults can’t see their gifts, so you have to pull them aside and say, “I really think you have a gift for teaching, serving, leading (whatever it may be). How can we get you plugged in here?”
I also think it’s important for leaders to be sensitive to the language they use–to remember that not all young adults are married and have kids and can relate to those kinds of examples in sermons. And remember that when a boomer walks into your church they may be asking, “What’s going on here? What’s the background? Denominational affiliation?” but that when a young adult walks in your church they’re wondering, “Who’s here? And does anyone care that I’m here?” They’re hungry for relationship and connection with other young adults, but also with older adults who can offer guidance, wisdom, and support within an actual relationship.
In his book Wishful Thinking: A Theological ABC, Frederick Buechner writes, “The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.” Where is that place for you? How do you help others identify their gifts?
Writing is almost an addiction for me. I absolutely love it and feel God’s pleasure when I write. Sometimes I can write for 14 hours straight! Not everyone has passions this strong, but I believe everyone has been gifted by God. To help others identify their gifts, I encourage people to talk to their friends. Even if you can’t name your passion or gift, the odds are that your friends can. When you talk about your passion, you usually light up and can’t hide your enthusiasm. The rate of your speech will pick up. Your posture will change as you reengage in the conversation.
I also encourage people to keep a broad-spectrum view of their gifts. Some people get too focused, saying for example, “My gift is to teach third grade elementary school.” While that may be true, what if the school needs help with the fourth grade class? What if the elementary school isn’t hiring but the high school is? Does that make their gift of teaching any less true? I don’t think so. That’s why it’s important to think in broader terms–the gift is teaching–and whether someone’s teaching gift is employed through training others, teaching a child to tie his shoes, or teaching school, the gift is still being used.
It is easy for me, however, to lose focus for what God has prepared and uniquely gifted me to do. He is doing so much that I don’t get to be a part of that I get distracted by how he has called others. While it is easy to say that the body of Christ has many parts, it can be hard to live out and celebrate. I love the idea of missions in Africa, hospice for AIDS patients, and working with at-risk kids, but the reality is that while I can come alongside people that do these types of ministries, none of these is my full-time calling, and that’s okay. God knows what he has for me, and as Paul writes in Philippians, “I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances” (though in my case, I’m learning to be content).
In The Organic God, you say that “I want to know God stripped of as many false perceptions as possible.” What are some false perceptions that you think ministry workers are particularly prone to?
I know in my own life, I can get bogged down in reading Scripture with a been-there-done-that attitude. I’ve grown up in the church, and so I know how the story of the Prodigal Son ends. Most of us do. So I need God to breathe fresh life into my study and hearing of the Word. I think we all do.
I’ve also come to recognize that I need to spend a lot of time before speaking engagements in personal preparation and then run my thoughts by someone (my spouse, coworker, etc.) who isn’t as attached to them as I am. More often than not, they catch misplaced words or a confusing point to keep me from unwittingly portraying God as something He is not.
