State of the Union

Once, while swimming in the ocean, a large wave knocked over my daughter, who was five years old at the time.

The strong undertow held her underwater, dragged Erin toward shore, and then began to pull her out to sea. As she slid past me toward open water, I looked down and saw my little girls’ eyes wide open looking back at me. I had the impression she was smiling. Adrenaline and instincts quickly engaged as I grabbed her tiny arm. I pulled her on my shoulder and in a shaky voice asked if she was okay. She said, and I will never forget these words, “I wasn’t scared. I knew you were here.”

Then I asked, “Can you see if Mommy is watching us?”

During those few moments when I could not see Erin, I felt intense fear. Combined with helplessness. Fortunately, I stood in a position to reach out and save my daughter from a peril she neither caused nor could do much about.

Growing numbers of today’s children also face deteriorating conditions they neither caused nor can do much about. But we need not feel helpless because we can do something.

Let’s consider what’s really going on with many kids. In Michigan, where I now live, the eroding economy clearly affects children’s lives. Consider these statistics from Kids Count in Michigan, as posted by the National Association of Child Care Resource and Referral Agencies:

One in five children lives in poverty.
More than one of every three students receives free or reduced school lunches; a 22% increase.
The number of children confirmed as victims of neglect or abuse continues to rise, with a 14% increase seen from 2000 to 2007. While children are much more likely to suffer from neglect—defined as unmet basic needs—neither condition is good news.

If you haven’t noticed, take a look and you’ll see wave after wave crashing in on kids today. This very day if you interact with children on weekdays. Or this weekend at church. Yes, these numbers come from Michigan. But they paint a picture that appears across the country: life has become more difficult for kids. The National Center on Family Homelessness released a study last week that show one in 50 U.S. children is homeless.

The organization I work for knows that when the economy suffers a cold, children catch pneumonia. However, our nation’s youth typically don’t show clear, outward signs or symptoms—so we don’t necessarily notice their situations. But inside, troubled little hearts break and eventually reach empty, especially if no one seems to care.

That’s the state of the union for anyone reaching out to children.

So what can we do? I have an idea that you can put in place this week, costs nothing, and will make an immediate difference. Similar to my earlier here’s-how-not-to-do-it story about ocean swimming safety, let me share another blunder that makes a point.

While leading a third-grade boys small group discussion one Sunday morning, I saw that we had only a minute of time left and said, “Guys, let’s pray before your parents come from big church.” The lesson plan specifically called for a prayer, and our group had finished every other activity for the day.

Before I started the prayer, one boy asked, “Mr. Dave, how can God hear all the groups pray if everyone prays at the same time?”

Did I stop to address his question and explain that God has the ability to hear all prayers? No. Did I take a moment and say that God has so much love for every person that he wants to listen to each of us? No. Did the thought even enter my mind that this might be an opportune moment to discuss a spiritual topic of genuine interest to this boy and others in the group? No. I maintained clear focus on the task in front of me and said, “Let’s not talk about that now because we need to pray.”

Yes, I blew that one.

You can do better, I’m sure, as long as you see the moments of opportunity coming toward you. Here’s how:

If you work in children’s ministry or Sunday school, feel the freedom to set down the curriculum, set aside that prayer, and listen – or, oh my, ask about what’s really going on in a child’s life.
If you mentor a child, take some time away from the math problems and talk about real-life story problems. Especially those with no solution. Instead of answers, offer your understanding.
No matter your role, show a child you care about his or her world through your personal attention and a simple word of encouragement.

An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up.Proverbs 12:25 (NIV)

What if God positioned you as the only big person willing to reach out to a child being swept under by life’s currents? When you do, you might give that child the hope that he or she desperately needs—but receives nowhere else.

In times like these, is hope really what kids need?

Yes.

In a Leadership Journal article (Fall, 2008), John Ortberg says, “…hope is the indispensible fuel for all human action. When hope dies, motivation dies. There is no longer any reason to try anything. But once hope enters [a child’s heart] anything is possible.”

You can’t get rid of the waves kids face. But you can look a child in the eye. And you can show a child you care about what he or she faces. You can reach out a hand. You might be all he or she needs to believe that, despite the current state of the union, anything is possible.

David Staal, senior editor of Today’s Children’s Ministry, serves as the president of Kids Hope USA, a national non-profit organization that partners local churches with elementary schools to provide mentors for at-risk students. Prior to this assignment, David led Promiseland, the children’s ministry at Willow Creek Community Church in Barrington, Illinois. David is the author of Words Kids Need to Hear (2008) and lives in Grand Haven, MI, with his wife Becky, son Scott, and daughter Erin.