Bruce Miller is the author of Your Life in Rhythm (Tyndale, 2009) and the founder and senior pastor of McKinney Fellowship in McKinney, Texas. Years ago while speaking at a leadership conference, Miller had a flash of insight: instead of struggling to live a balanced life, we ought to live in rhythm. Off the Agenda spoke with Miller about the implications of “rhythm” in ministry.
For more on handling time well, check out this week’s download, Learning to Delegate.
What advice would you give to pastors who feel spread thin between their responsibilities?
I encourage pastors to rethink their responsibilities with trusted friends and with their governing board. Often we take on responsibilities that are not ours to bear. One rhythm strategy in my book is to release false expectations. Consider the stage and season of your life, and knowing what “time” it is in your life, reevaluate your responsibilities. When my wife and I were raising our kids, I was asked to serve on the board of a ministry. I was honored and accepted. Later I realized this was not the season of my life for serving on boards. After a year I resigned and determined not to serve on any boards until my kids were out of the house.
What are the practical implications of the image of a rhythmic life, rather than a balanced one?
Balance is often undefined, but it seems to imply that people give proportionate effort to all their priorities and responsibilities all the time. That creates unnecessary stress and guilt. To take an obvious example, on vacation you should not give attention to work. Leave the Blackberry and the MacBook at home. It is your time to rest. Conversely, do not feel guilty at the height of a capital campaign when you are putting in long hours seven days a week for a season. When it is the “playoffs” or “finals,” it is time to work like crazy and give it your all. And yet in those times, we often feel guilty because we assume we are neglecting family, working out, or some other responsibility. As Solomon says in Ecclesiastes, there is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven.
When it is time to grieve, we should grieve deeply and not skate over a death or serious loss. Many people try to live life as normally as if they were not experiencing grief. That hurts our souls. Instead, in a season of grief, grieve; shed those tears. Release the expectation that you should be accomplishing as much at the church or job. Conversely, when it is time to celebrate, dance with all your heart; throw a party. It is not that we should mourn and dance in balance at the same time, but that we should cry and laugh at different times in rhythm.
As your church has grown, what has your experience been delegating responsibilities to others?
At first it feels great to delegate responsibilities you do not enjoy. But as you grow, you must let go of things you really love to do and are pretty good at. This is particularly hard for many founding pastors who start off involved in every detail. It is difficult to delegate and then watch a person not handle what was given to them as well as you would have or in the way you wanted them to do it. However, over time you discover the joy of seeing others grow as they face challenges and improve in ministry. My joy has increased as I focus more and more in my own areas of gifting and passion. I’ve had to learn how to give enough direction and clarity in delegation without micromanaging. I identify the desired outcome without prescribing the methodology to get there.
As your church grows and ages, you enter new seasons. As a church planter, at the start I was involved in every detail of every decision about everything. Then I led a small team that discussed every issue together. Then we grew to multiple teams. A group of leaders called a pastoral team handled the overall view. By now we have an XP Team of three Executive Pastors and an Operations Manager who consider the big picture with me. We have four large teams: a Worship and Arts team, a Discipleship team, a Missional Life team, and an Operations team. I am on none of them, but I lead the XP team and delegate through them. Each of these organizational shifts has been a new rhythm for our staff.
