Time goes by fast.
It seems like only yesterday that my wife faced contractions coming every 30 seconds as we raced to the hospital to deliver our daughter. And then just two months ago, she turned 13. My daughter, that is. In six short weeks, my wife turns … a number unimportant to this column.
However, that 13th birthday deserves more attention. A few minutes of research revealed a half-dozen statistics of interest to anyone serious about reaching kids these days. Read through these numbers and you’ll understand more about the young lives in your program.
On my daughter’s birthday (July 26, 1996), approximately 10,682 births took place in the United States on that typical, single day. No wonder the U.S. spends $7.5 billion on greeting cards every year. I prefer to send free e-cards; except to my wife, of course.
Now for the interesting facts:
Of the 10,682 children born that day, 3,738 live in a single-parent home. Some areas of the country experience higher rates than others. This means one in three children in your program likely lives with only a mother or a father at home. In most cases, dad’s not around. What do these kids believe about families? And do your activities, arts, crafts, or lessons assume a two-parent home? Take a moment and review the ways your materials reference home life.
Quite likely, this statistic didn’t surprise you. But it nearly wrecked me one day in the children’s ministry I led.
I noticed a young boy throwing a fit before our 9 a.m. Easter service. Apparently, he did not want to go to the room for four and five-year-olds. As I watched his mom repeatedly plead with him and pry his hands off the stair rail, she and I made eye contact. “Can you help?” she asked.
I decided to give mom “expert” advice on how to handle her child. Fortunately, before I could insert my foot in my mouth and chomp a toe or two, she filled me in on an important detail.
“He started acting like this right after his dad passed away last month.”
I look at each child differently since that day. Sure, some act like angels while others need more angel-training. All, though, live in homes with circumstances that I’ll likely never understand. And I pledge to give them automatic and voluminous grace. Too many kids face adult-sized problems before they can tie their own shoes in the morning. We serve them well when we loosen up a little before making judgments.
Back to our numbers.
Unless dramatic education reform takes place, 3,204 of the children born with my daughter will fail to graduate from high school. That’s right—three of ten won’t receive a diploma. A reliable indicator of a child’s likelihood to graduate is the ability to read at grade level following third grade. If you ever feel frustrated that some children don’t want to read their Bibles, think again: they can’t read them. Makes you wonder if kids really need VBS, or if they’re better served with a summer reading assistance program.
Before you write me a nasty, don’t-you-think-kids-need-Jesus letter, please remember that I authored the book Leading Kids to Jesus. Instead, think about what these 3,204 kids believe about their futures.
Let’s keep moving.
Tragically, 1,950 children born on the same day as my daughter are already victims of reported abuse—physical, sexual, emotional, or some other kind. You read that right; about one in six children, by the time they’re 13. And authorities remind us that significantly more abuse happens than is ever reported. Look again at the kids in your charge; some endure unthinkable pain. What do you think they believe about love?
A growing number of kids now 13 live in households that face financial pain every day. Before the current recession, 1,815 lived in poverty. A recent forecast says that between two and three million additional children of all ages will fall below the poverty line before the economy recovers. Church attendance patterns will change as a result of parents changing work habits as they labor to provide for their families. Shopping patterns also change. So does giving. Should we think again about compassion programs that ultimately focus solely on raising money? Imagine what many of these kids believe about stability and trust.
Surprisingly, (as if all the other statistics were expected), 961 born on that single day in 1996 likely have ADHD (nine percent), with 653 of them receiving no treatment. Having trouble keeping those older kids’ attentions? If you find it easy, please write a book and launch a web site for the rest of us. Consider these kids’ confusion and what they believe about how they are likely treated.
Finally, 5,554 of the 10,682 children will admit that they don’t attend church. No explanation or elaboration needed on that heartbreaking statistic. What do these kids believe about God? Little or nothing, most likely.
So why all the focus on this group of kids emerging from childhood to teenager-hood? Pollster George Barna provides the reason when he reported: “In essence, what you believe by the time you are 13 is what you will die believing.”
His words explain why the most effective, life-changing ministries will understand and reach children in ways that touch kids’ core beliefs—about God, about life.
Interestingly, Barna’s bold statement appeared in his research published in 2003. I admit, though, it never hit me this hard until my daughter’s 13th birthday.
Speaking of birthdays, I better get busy hunting for a card and gift because my wife turns another year older in just six weeks. Because time goes by fast.
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David Staal, senior editor of Today’s Children’s Ministry, serves as the president of Kids Hope USA, a national non-profit organization that partners local churches with elementary schools to provide mentors for at-risk students. Prior to this assignment, David led Promiseland, the children’s ministry at Willow Creek Community Church in Barrington, Illinois. David is the author of Words Kids Need to Hear (2008) and lives in Grand Haven, MI, with his wife Becky, son Scott, and daughter Erin. Interested in David speaking at your event? Click here
©2009, David Staal
