Pastors

Pulling the Best Out of You

If you’ve ever been mentored, you understand that nothing compares with building one-on-one into another person.

Leadership Journal January 13, 2011

I heard some simple, yet profound words 19 years ago.

At the conclusion of a small group meeting, the leader pulled me aside. As a relatively new Christian, I wondered if I had offended someone with my humorous comments. Maybe I asked too many questions. Or did my complete lack of Bible knowledge create too much elementary level discussion. “What did I do?” I asked with a whiny, self-indicting tone.

“Nothing, yet,” said Todd.

“I have no clue what you mean,” I replied.

“Someday you will, Dave,” Todd said. “I can see that God has placed leadership in you, and he’ll likely put you in a position to lead for him some day.”

“Riiiiiight,” I said, lingering a little too long on the “i” sound. Someone needs to lay off the regular coffee at night, I thought. Yet something about his words, and the intensity with which he delivered them, intrigued me.

For the next 18 months, Todd acted as my first real mentor. Nineteen years later, I look back at his words as profound, prophetic, and precisely what I needed to hear. Even though, at the time, my naiveté prevented me from grasping his comment’s full meaning and weight. Today, as president of a faith-based national mentoring organization, I realize the amazing role Todd played in my life, especially through the words he shared one evening nearly two decades ago.

Two questions for you to ponder.

First, who invested (or invests) time in you as your mentor? Because January serves as National Mentoring Month, thank that person before month’s end arrives. To make it easy, forward this column to him or her and write: “Thinking about you. Thank you.”

Before we move on to the next question, ponder a moment more about the wondrous gift of a person speaking life-building words to you, listening to you, seeing potential in you, and pulling the best out of you. Someone who helped you make wise decisions, and helped dust you off when you didn’t. If you’ve yet to experience all this, my column will make you yawn.

If a mentor has grabbed your hand and helped you further into life, then you’re feeling something extraordinary this very moment. Because in our insanely me-centered world, someone focused on you—who does that?

Glad you asked.

Second question: Are you investing time in anyone as a mentor? If your heart pounded through the first question as you thought about that special someone(s) in your life, then I pray your answer to number two is “yes.” If not, get busy.

If, though, you have never experienced life as a mentee, please don’t let that hold you back. Regardless of what you do for a living, nothing compares with building into another person one-on-one.

I experienced that thrill today, just three hours ago, during a weekly meeting with the second-grader I mentor. We made up a game that uses dice to solve simple addition and subtraction equations. From the outside, one might call it “shooting craps, solving problems.” Before you send a scathing e-mail, rest assured no gambling took place.

In fact, it provided a sure-bet opportunity for confidence building. After successfully completing an equation that involved both addition and subtraction, I told him, “You do a great job with math.”

His response sounded familiar: “Riiiiiight.”

I wonder if he’ll remember this 19 years from now?

(To Todd, Ronnie, Dick, Mike, and Phil—thought about you the entire time I wrote this column. Thank you!)

David Staal, senior editor of Today’s Children’s Ministry, serves as the president of Kids Hope USA, a national non-profit organization that partners local churches with elementary schools to provide mentors for at-risk students. Prior to this assignment, David led Promiseland, the children’s ministry at Willow Creek Community Church in South Barrington, Illinois. David is the author of Words Kids Need to Hear (2008) and lives in Grand Haven, Michigan, with his wife Becky, son Scott, and daughter Erin. Interested in David speaking at your event? Click here

©2011, David Staal

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