Pastors

Leadership Lessons from a High School Prom

My wife and I knew nothing about organizing an after-prom event; but we did know how to love the volunteers we led.

Leadership Journal May 10, 2011

In the heart of a leader, three words act as a reliable, internal GPS: I love volunteers.

Get this right and an organization or ministry will fly high. Ignore it, and you can count on the crash. This truth occupied a big chunk of my life recently, thanks to a high school prom.

Specifically, I’m talking about the after-prom, an entity that barely existed in my high school days. Sure, the prom dance was a big to-do back then. But the activities that followed seemed like more of an after-thought. So with authentic naiveté, I attended the January parents-of-the-junior class meeting to hear from the school administration about this supposed non-event, run exclusively by parents. Sixty minutes later, I left the meeting better informed and committed to help.

“You did what?” my wife said (or “exclaimed,” “demanded,” “cursed”; you choose the word) when I explained the role I volunteered her and I to tackle as a team. Apparently, the title “chairmen” results in far less excitement for her than it did for me. “We know nothing about the after-prom, so how can we run it?” she asked.

I decided to reply with the truth: “No one else stepped forward.”

“So why did you?”

“You mean ‘we,’ right?”

“Whatever!”

“Because,” I said, “we do know how to lead a team, and that’s what is needed most.”

I then explained that other parents did step forward in other roles. All the work fell neatly into ten different committees, and the other moms and dads volunteered to lead those groups. Someone had to lead the leaders, organize the meetings, and love the volunteers. Suddenly and skeptically, my wife began to see to logic of her co-chair.

Two weeks later the parent after-prom organization held our first meeting. After we reviewed and assigned all tasks to the committees (which my wife enjoyed), I shared these words with the team: “We’re here to organize an amazing event—amazingly safe, amazingly fun, and well-run by amazing people. The safety and fun will take place in a few months, but tonight it’s clear that all of you are amazing people. We’ve hit one out of three already!”

That’s when the love started.

I repeated those words in every monthly meeting that followed. We had silly prizes for people who completed the greatest number of tasks, including recruiting an additional 100 or more parent volunteers. My wife and I had no idea how to organize the after-prom, so we applied the majority of our efforts to support and encourage the committee leaders who figured out how to do everything. In short, we loved the volunteers.

Then came the big night. As the chairmen, we self-designated our roles as roamers willing to troubleshoot problems, answer questions, and love the volunteers.

So we arrived at the YMCA and personally thanked every parent volunteer. I rode in a truck with the security team and affirmed their work, and hopped on the trolley to thank those folks, too. We drove to the bowling alley and spoke appreciation to each volunteer. Same thing at the pancake restaurant and the coffee shop. From 11:30 p.m. until 5:30 a.m., we showed up at every venue for every shift. We loved the volunteers.

I still have little knowledge about how everything worked. But I do know the names, faces, and grip strength of all the people who made the event happen—from the committee leaders to the pancake flippers. They felt great about their roles—because they felt appreciated—and we felt great about ours. Tired, but great.

A leader need not run everything. Those who try either fail or eventually fry. A better way exists: love volunteers.

David Staal, senior editor of the children’s ministry area for BuildingChurchLeaders.com and a mentor to a second-grade boy, serves as the president of Kids Hope USA, a national non-profit organization that partners local churches with elementary schools to provide mentors for at-risk students. Prior to this assignment, David led Promiseland, the children’s ministry at Willow Creek Community Church in South Barrington, Illinois. David is the author of Words Kids Need to Hear (2008) and lives in Grand Haven, Michigan, with his wife Becky, son Scott, and daughter Erin. Interested in David speaking at your event? Click here)

©2011, David Staal

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