How do young people come to a relationship with Jesus? The research is clear: the vast majority of people (young, as well as old) come to faith as a result of a relationship with a Christian friend or relative. Jesus often modeled the process. To the demon-possessed man he said, “go home to your friends and tell them what wonderful things God has done for you …” (Mark 5:19). When Zacchaeus believed, Christ told him that salvation had also come to his friends and family (Luke 19:9). After Jesus healed the son of a royal official we learn that the Centurion, and all of his family and friends, believed (Mark 2:14-15). Jesus knew that the way the Gospel would travel around the world would be through relationships.
So, the foundation for any outreach initiative begins with relationships. How do relationships start? C.S. Lewis gives us a wonderful insight in The Four Loves: “Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: ‘What! You, too? I thought I was the only one.'” To reach young people we must create “relationship greenhouses” where friendships can flourish.
How do friendships flourish? Two ingredients are key: 1) spending time together, 2) with people who share things in common (and, the more “things” the better).
But, the next part of the initial question begs our attention: “… where no one seems to have any time to spare?”
I love the experience shared by the Prince of Peace Lutheran Church in Burnsville, Illinois. They offered group meeting after group meeting … with no takers. The common excuse? “We just don’t have any time.” Finally, they solved the problem. Rather than asking, “Would you attend our group?”… they began asking, “What kind of a group would you change your schedule to attend?” (David Stark. Growing People Through Small Groups. Bethany Press, 2004, p. 94.) They found the “hot buttons” and solved their attendance problems!
I have found that the kinds of groups people change their schedule to attend fall into one of two categories: “Recreational” or “Developmental.” The first relates to how people like to spend their free time, and can be based on almost anything. The second category relates to major life challenges, and are usually based on: health, finances, relationships, and/or employment. If the felt need is strong enough, the promise appealing enough, and the risk low enough, people will change their schedule to attend.
But centering only on immediate needs limits the potential for deeper relational and spiritual growth. A good relationship greenhouse moves from felt needs to “deeper needs.” Deeper needs include: a place to belong … a sense of balance … authentic relationships … help through transitions … and/or spiritual answers.
Ultimately, the “pilgrim’s progress” will move from deeper needs to “eternal needs,” and a relationship with Jesus that fills the God-shaped vacuum inside every human being. But young people won’t make that jump “cold turkey” based on someone they neither know nor trust. I recommend Bob Whitesel’s new book, Spiritual Waypoints, for a helpful discussion on facilitating people’s journey from ignorance to intimacy with Christ.
A marketing executive with Ford Motor Company once said to me: “I’ve often wondered, what if our church were a business? What would our product be? I’ve decided that our product … is ‘relationships.’ First, a relationship with God through Jesus Christ. Then, relationships with others in the body of Christ. And finally, relationships with people in the world that Christ died for.”
I like that.
