Just Ten More Years …

Twenty people assembled on the faded tile floor of an aging school gym. We were a wobbly church plant, launching a congregation we hoped would blossom in our budding suburb of Bloomingdale, Illinois. This facility was our only rental option in a new community short on assembly spaces. I wondered to myself (never to our flock of course) if our group would grow and ever worship in a more appealing place. Not having to drag in our equipment every weekend, or wonder if the janitor had remembered to turn the heat up this week would be nice too.

One day in those early months of our church plant, I attended a pastors’ conference. An older pastor made a passionate pitch for pastors to make a long-term commitment to the congregations they serve. “Be the faithful shepherd to the church you serve right now” he said. “Make it a goal to stay at your first church for at least 10 years.”

Ten years seemed like a really long time then, especially since I was only 25. As I sat there, I wondered, If I do stay, will we still be meeting in the gym 10 years from now? Do I have the endurance and the skill to lead us for that long? But in spite of my doubts, the “stay-10-years” challenge inspired me.

It also seemed to make a lot of practical sense. Ten years would be enough time to grow the congregation, forge caring relationships, and begin to raise up a sturdy lay leadership. Ten years would be enough time to cultivate a good reputation for the church in our community. Ten years in the same place would also foster a more stable life for my family.

So, my wife Marina and I stayed. For ten years … and then some.

Long-term benefits

Of course it hasn’t always been easy. There have been tough seasons. Some issues intensify in the longer pastorate.

For me, staying personally healthy and keeping our church moving forward in its mission over the years has required me to rethink my leadership style more than once. The changing phases of a church’s size and life-stage demand this flexibility. The take-charge, pioneering mentality that works for a church planter usually does not continue to work well in a young congregation that has formulated its own DNA and is growing strong lay leaders. Pastors must adapt their leadership styles in order to lead well in the same church as it changes size and develops.

Staying in the same church long-term has also forced me to challenge my assumptions about ministry. I’ve had to learn how to navigate change and our church’s growing pains. Never learned about that in seminary.

For example, the multiple building projects we’ve undertaken have taught me how to get people to see the need, settle on a shared plan, practice tangible faith, sacrifice as a community, and then endure that unpredictable, protracted stage called “the construction phase.” Thankfully, our church did make it out of that old school gym … before it was bulldozed for a super-sized drug store. In that first decade our congregation built a sanctuary.

Many years after that first project, I can point to pastoral battle scars as a survivor of four church building programs. They have been worth it, though they probably took longer than they should have, cost more than I wanted to believe they would, consumed more energy than I wanted to give them, and served as a public means of my personal sanctification.

Long-term challenges

The temptation to slide off “the main thing” is inevitable for leaders who stay in their church for a long time. I have certainly been distracted by chasing my projects and pet peeves. The noble passion to get out there and grow a church can morph into an absorbing ambition to fill those empty chairs on Sunday mornings. Or to fixate on building that new sanctuary, which only results in having more empty seats to fill. Or it can start with a worthy aspiration to convince the board to finance that needed staff position, but can devolved into a skirmish in which you squander your influence reserves to get your way. Stay-in-the-same-church leaders are susceptible to missing or ignoring their own missteps. For me, regular getaways, prayer retreats, evaluation by lay leaders, as well as accountability to two mentors outside my congregation, have helped keep me grounded.

It hasn’t always been easy. Staying has also stretched and strained some relationships. We have found enduring life-long friends in our congregation. We’ve raised our kids together. But to be honest, the long-term pastorate has also meant that I have ended up in conflict with a few people I never thought I would. People in whom I had invested significant effort mysteriously retreated from active involvement. Some even left for another church. One likeable, new convert couple quietly kept complaining that they hated our church’s “Life Illustrated,” a bi-month drama segment that connected well with many others. After a few of years in the church and multiple conversations about it, they abruptly announced their departure. I would not change and they knew I planned on staying. So they left. It was hard on me, and perplexing to our church family that counted them as core to the congregation. Seeing people become unhappy and leave has always been a part of the pastor job that I do not like. But when we stay long enough, it will happen. Sometimes people leave because of their issues, sometimes because of ours.

Looking back, I see how I’ve grown through these challenges. I’ve learned about patience, faith, and serving Christ’s church for his honor, not mine. I have to make sure that I keep hitting the refresh button on that perspective. Staying has helped me know experientially that I need to keep yielding to God’s Spirit. Long-haul pastoring exposes my own tendencies toward selfishness, complacency, and presumption.

Family ties

Staying in the same church has been greatly beneficial for our children. One day just before our son left our state for college, we were pulling out of our driveway to do an errand. He was staring pensively at the garage door. “Dad,” he said. “I know that some pastors move around a lot. I wanted to say thanks for letting me grow up in the same house and have the same friends through high school.”

My heart warmed. I was grateful for the opportunity to provide that stability for him. Staying in the same congregation has also meant that half a dozen caring adults in our church became up-close models for our two sons to emulate. Their Sunday School teachers, Awana Club leaders, and coaches in our church’s sports program became the trusted mentors that Daniel and Joel remain in relationship with to this day. Now our sons and their wives are active participants in our congregation and lead in our teen program. What a blessing Marina and I enjoy as we watch them now doing for the next generation in our church what was done for them years ago.

As those first 10 years slipped by, we became so connected to our church and to our city that we stayed a second 10 years. Ten years later, it was more of the same and we stayed a third decade. Now, half way through our fourth decade, serving in the same church and living in the same house, Marina and I, Lord willing, would like to go one more decade with this congregation we love if they will have us. Marina and I have no regrets about coming and staying in the same church for all of those years. We do have an immense amount of gratitude to God for his faithfulness despite our clumsy faith along the way. We have gratitude to the church family that has walked with us for so long and helped raise our sons.

I am grateful for that pastor’s challenge that day to a green, idealistic young pastor to stay put in the same church. I pass on the same challenge. Try to stay in your church for at least 10 years.

Like me, you may discover incredible benefits—and end up staying even longer.

David Riemenschneider, and his wife Marina, are the lead pastors of the Bloomingdale Alliance Church, Bloomingdale, IL.