Just as in any other type of crisis, the first 24 to 48 hours after the disclosure of a couple’s intent to end the marriage are extremely critical. An inappropriate response from the church (or no response at all) can make or break the marriage due to the couple’s fragile emotional state.
Every church must be proactive and have a plan in advance, such as a trained team of “first responders” who know how to come alongside each spouse, listen to their pain, pray with them, and get appropriate resources into their hands right away.
Marriage 911 Online is a ministry that trains first response teams to immediately address the crisis and to help take the counseling load off the pastoral staff. First responders make sure that each spouse receives a same-gender support/accountability partner who will meet with him/her weekly to help take that spouse’s focus off the crisis and onto God. Most often, only one spouse is willing to work on the marriage. Having a trained support partner come alongside the willing spouse is necessary in order to help deal with feelings of abandonment and to help that spouse hold the line of reconciliation, despite the behavior, attitudes, and actions of their wife/husband.
What we also suggest is that each church creates or purchases a critical care kit which contains resources that can immediately address what is transpiring. We have come alongside churches and created kits that are kept in the church office. Inside the kits are materials such as our Critical Care for Your Marriage booklet and DVD, a set of scripture/prayer cards, a seven-day quiet time plan, a copy of our testimony on CD, and a list of other resources.
