Today’s interview is with Chris Maxwell. Chris is the Director of Spiritual Life and Campus Pastor of Emmanuel College in Franklin Springs. He is the author of multiple books including the Pause series; the third installment of which: Pause for Pastors: Finding Still Waters in the Storm of Ministry, comes out this fall. Today, we talk with Chris about intentional rest and serving those in the church with epilepsy.
1) The title of your book, Pause, seems antithetical to everything about modern society. It seems we work hard to avoid any kind of silence or solitude. What is this doing to us?
Yes, the adventure of the human “race.” We multi-task in our hi-tech world, and use all means possible to do as much as possible as quickly as possible . . . to then have time to do more.
What it often does to us is rob us of the moments. We set goals for great accomplishments. We establish plans and hurry our way there to achieve such plans with perfection. Those aren’t wrong practices in themselves but they become very wrong as we hurry from one achievement to another and miss all the beauty beside us. The stillness of God. The wonder of his world. Words and faces, clouds and stars, songs and stories, Scripture and conversations. We miss the moments in this hurried pace of doing, then doing a little more, then doing a little better.
It shoves us toward lives based on doing instead of being. It also guides us toward unhealthy lives of too much stress, too little rest, and too few moments of being led beside the still waters.
To sit with a friend and say nothing seems like wasted time. To sit with God and say nothing seems like wasted time. Learning to adore and pursue the wonder of nothingness, the contentment of stillness, the magnificence of silence are tasks we all should chase.
2) Ironically, it sometimes seems like those in ministry are the least likely to pause, with a busy workload caring for others. Why it is so important for leaders to find times of solitude?
There are so many times I have let what I do for God take the place of being with God.
When I first started serving as a lead pastor, I did not want to do that. I set aside time for personal spiritual formation. But, over the years, things changed. I needed to do more and accomplish more. People needed me – or, maybe I needed to be needed. We live in a driven, obsessed world even in church business. Fortunately, I learned the importance of returning to pause. The books in this series – Pause, Pause for Moms, and Pause for Pastors – come from my heart and the hearts of other writers who hope to remind ourselves and others about the now. As I wrote this book, along with stories from a variety of other pastors, we invited ministers to slow the pace and find the beauty of now.
We can only care for others if we take care of ourselves.
I had a few advantages in my 19 years of pastoring. Our congregation allowed me space. My family was a priority. But I also had a team of accountability partners who didn’t care about my sermons or books or attendance – they focused on soul care, on my priorities, on my health, on my motives. They asked me difficult questions. So many pastors live without that.
It is important for pastors to find – that doesn’t mean waiting for such times to just show up; it means planning unplanned time and scheduling unhurried Sabbath moments. We can only care for others if we take care of ourselves. And, our beliefs tell us that true formation and soul care occurs in those moments when we apply the disciplines – not to impress God or improve our status, but to engage in healthy relational dialogue with our true Father. We talk to him and we sing to him and we listen to him. We choose to just sit with him. We read his words not just to prepare a sermon but to “be transformed by the renewing of our minds” (Romans 12:2).
A vacation. Time with a counselor. A spiritual formation retreat. A day off. Time with family when church issues aren’t allowed in the conversation. A walk. A novel. A song. A ball game. An hour just sitting and staring at the beauty of creation. The beach. The mountains.
The opportunities are there. We just miss them too often. Stats are available from many sources reminding us that we better learn to pause and take better care of ourselves. Here is one example:
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1,500 pastors per month leave their churches from conflict, burn-out or moral failure
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23% of pastors in the US have been fired or forced to resign
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On average, pastors in the US, serve only 5 years before leaving ministry completely. (From Dr. Ken Sande, Relational Wisdom 360)
3) You live with epilepsy. How has disability forced you to create margin in your life for rest and reflection?
As I travel around the world and speak about living a healthy and joyful life with epilepsy, the main principles apply to everyone. I need self-time. I need rest. I need to deal properly with stress. I need to drink water and eat right. I need naps. I need to say no. But, that isn’t just for us with epilepsy. That is for everyone. That is for pastors who miss the wonder around them, who fail to be led beside still waters, who preach about prayer but have never learned the awe of silence or laughter or tears with their Heavenly Father.
Seeing my healthy body become so ill and almost dying from encephalitis, I finally began to appreciate what I too often ignored. I had to learn to do things again, things that had been simple for me before the illness. For a speaker and writer to struggle to read and write and speak and remember names was humbling. Embarrassing. Frustrating. But it had also been healing in other ways. I began to give value to things that didn’t matter that much before.
4) You are an advocate for those with epilepsy. I'm guessing that most Christians in churches don't understand this condition. What is the biggest misconception about it?
The biggest misconception is not viewing epilepsy as a struggle that so many people face. We ignore it.
The biggest misconception is not viewing epilepsy as a struggle that so many people face. We ignore it. We don’t teach leaders what to do if someone has a seizure. Though knowledge is better in America than other countries, it still doesn’t get enough attention. And it gets very little attention in our churches.
I knew very little about epilepsy until I became a patient living with it. Now I travel around the world to tell my story. Pastors often assume the people in their congregations tell them what all is going on. Most don’t. After I speak, people realize it is okay to admit they live with epilepsy and also to seek help from others.
Some cultures view it is caused by demon possession or lack of faith. With epilepsy, the brain’s electrical system is working hard to do its job. For reasons unique to each patient, the system over reacts and experiences abnormal electrical activity. Medications can also affect a patient’s health. The numbers are huge and more churches need to teach their congregations and community about epilepsy.
Look at these numbers:
- 1 in 26 Americans will develop epilepsy in their lifetime.
- It is estimated that up to 50,000 deaths occur annually in the U.S. from status epilepticus (prolonged seizures), Sudden Unexpected Death in Epilepsy (SUDEP), and other seizure-related causes such as drowning and other accidents.
- 2.2 million troops have served in the current Iraq and Afghanistan conflicts; it is estimated that 440,000 of these soldiers will experience traumatic brain injury (TBI) and more than 100,000 of these soldiers are expected to develop post-traumatic epilepsy (PTE).
(source: www.cureepilepsy.org)
5) If you could advise pastors and church leaders on making the church a safe place for those diagnosed with epilepsy, what would you say?
Those of us who are patients with epilepsy need to know we are accepted. Be patient with our process of learning. Understand our emotions and mood swings. Know what to do in case we have a seizure. Offer to drive those who are not allowed to drive. Understand our issues but treat us just like you would anyone else.
Churches could also help caregivers of those who have epilepsy and the caregivers of patients who have any health issues. Many family members are just exhausted. Give them time off. Care for us for them. The meals, the conversations, the nights away. The laughter together, the tears together, the prayers together. Refuse to let the patients or their caregivers experience life alone.
Support a ministry which trains workers to support families with special needs. Ministries (like Nathaniel’s Hope and many others) are bringing wonderful change in our churches to help care for those with disabilities.
The key word for me as I offer thoughts to church leaders is this: love. Love those with epilepsy and any other health condition. Love their caregivers. Love them enough to take care of yourself and to show true pastoral care to them. Not just in a sermon or an event. The biblical love of pastoral care can help all of us feel more welcome – whatever our personal struggles might be.
Daniel Darling is vice-president of communications for the Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission. He is the author of several books, including his latest, Activist Faith.
