I came for a tennis match, but by the end I had learned how to lead people better.
The game didn’t appear on television or on any center court. It took place on court 11 of a college tournament. My daughter Erin played this match that, to anyone else, would appear unspectacular at best. But not from my angle.
Compared to last season, Erin’s game has changed—dramatically, and for the better. Her strokes. Her aggressiveness. Her confidence. How? The answer walked onto the court between games to talk with Erin: Coach Tammy Cecchini.
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“I spent the entire past season watching Erin, how she performed and acted at each practice,” Tammy said.
Curiosity drove me to probe into what they worked on together and, most importantly, how and why. That’s when a few key principles came into focus that will help any leader take people development seriously.
It doesn’t take much adeptness, after all, to manage high performers and appear successful based on luck and an organization’s previous ability to recruit well. Eventually, though, such good fortune evaporates. Whether the setting is business, ministry, music, or sports, a truly successful leader will coach any and all players to their full potential.
So how did Tammy do this? She practiced these five fundamentals for coaching players to become their best (listed using tennis scoring, of course):
Love. A heart for people.
“I love and care for every one of these girls,” she said, “and my goal is to make sure their four years here at Valparaiso University are the best possible for them as tennis players, students, and friends.”
The basic starting point emerges from role clarity. If a coach does her job well, every player entrusted to her will improve in skill, confidence, and character. How easily, though, focus can narrow and elevate a team or organization’s results as the ultimate indicator of success. So a leader must ask himself, Am I a coach or not? If the honest answer is “no,” then ensure that there is someone building into those people. A team or organization locked on results with little or no regard for individuals’ development will, eventually, lose big.
Look, instead, at the healthiest teams, and you’ll find a leader/coach who loves every player.
15. Make it personal.
“When I coach, I look at each girl individually. When I kneel in front of a player during a match, I need to know what motivates her. Everyone is different.”
Good coaching requires the relationship to get personal, one-on-one, so the person feels valued and understood. This requires intentionality in how time together is spent. “In individual workouts, I spend about 45 minutes working on their game and 15 minutes just talking, so we get to know each other.”
Take inventory of the people on your team. Do you spend one-on-one time with each person? If so, do you allot time to work on performance issues and to build relational equity? Often, leaders start to believe a person, or an entire team, doesn’t need such personal interaction, that their people can motivate themselves and improve on their own. This works for only a tiny fraction of folks. In reality, the concept of self-development is a scam designed to let leaders off the hook; people need someone to show up and invest in them.
30. Keep it positive.
“You need to have equal amounts of both confidence and skill,” says Tammy.
To coach is to work firmly in reality, and that means pointing out mistakes that need correction. But to stop there will leave a player focused on her faults—a belief that they have the ability to do better must exist for someone to actually improve. The radical difference a leader/coach makes is clear to see: Affirmation builds confidence; constant criticism tears it down. This truth applies equally to players on courts and in cubicles.
So what can it look like when done well?
“I will let a player know when she's not doing something right, but I also let her know when she is doing it right,” says Tammy. “It may seem like I'm being hard on her, but she will know when I say ‘You did it!’ that I mean it.”
Another coach, Duke’s Mike Krzyzewski, also believes in the power of positivity: “I believe in you. These four words can mean the difference between the fear of failure and the courage to try,” he says in his book The Gold Standard: Building a World-Class Team.
No one achieves success by simply trying to avoid failure. Do people on your team feel your full confidence—are they motivated to by your belief?
40. Coach for the long haul.
Results take time and perseverance, from the player and from the coach. Give up on a player? Never. Stubborn and insistent optimism toward potential is a coach’s role. “I constantly remind her about what we’ve worked on and how she can't go back to her old ways,” says Tammy. “It takes time, but the more she does it, the more confident she becomes.”
Share high expectations for the potential every person possesses, and don’t let the player settle for mediocrity or slip back into bad habits. Then look for that player to absorb and reciprocate such insistence. “I look for someone who is willing to work hard, even though she might not get recognition; someone who listens well, displays appreciation, and shows she wants to get better.”
Do the members of your team display commitment to improve, fueled by your steadfast belief in them?
Game point. Focus on what a person could become.
When a leader/coach looks at someone on her team, whether it’s a corporate business unit, church ministry, or a college tennis team, much more than today’s performance comes into view. Coach Tammy’s eyes focus on something greater that will, ultimately, lead a player toward success: “I see potential in Erin. I told her last year that she hasn't reached her full potential, and I believe it. And now I'm positive that she believes it, too. ”
Is reaching personal potential more important than out-scoring an important? According to UCLA Coach John Wooden, “Success is the peace of mind attained only through self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to do the best of which you are capable.”
Isn’t a coach’s true primary role to help every player achieve success—whatever that means for every individual?
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After Erin’s match finished, Coach Tammy told me, “All the hard work is paying off. Her strokes have improved a little bit. But I want and expect more from her.”
My daughter’s eyes beam bright when she hears Tammy talk that way. Those moments give me a glimpse into the wonderful difference this coach makes in my daughter’s heart. Ten years from now, the memory of wins and losses will fade, but the handprint from a caring coach will remain.
By the way, Erin didn’t win the match that day.
Or did she?
David Staal, senior editor for Building Church Leaders and a mentor to a third grader, serves as the president of Kids Hope USA, a national non-profit organization that partners local churches with elementary schools to provide mentors for at-risk students. He also chairs the advisory board for a nearby college, teaches marketing at another university, and served ten years in leadership for a local church following a corporate career. David is the author of Lessons Kids Need to Learn (Zondervan, 2012) and Words Kids Need to Hear (Zondervan, 2008). He lives in Grand Haven, MI, with his wife Becky. His son Scott and daughter Erin attend Valparaiso University.
