A war rages in my heart: a desire for love on one side and for emotional safety on the other. I have felt this battle for as long as I can remember. I want to give and receive love, yet I long to keep my heart safe. Basically, I want all the benefits of relationship while living in the protective bubble of my comfort zone.
But that’s not how love works. The true definition of love is God himself. All he does and is flows from love—and that led him to take on broken flesh as our Messiah. True love led Love to a self-sacrificing death on a cross. Likewise, if we are to truly love, it will cost everything we have. True love will never be comfortable in the way we hope. It is inherently risky, calling us into scary territory, where there are no emotional guarantees.
Fear of feeling this much prompts us to shut the doors of our hearts and burrow deep in our comfort zones. Comfort addiction motivates us to keep emotional distance from anyone who might hurt us or drain us or require something of us.
But God has a remedy for us. His perfect love casts out all fear (1 John 4:18). The more we know God’s love, the less sway fear has. God’s love calls us out of hiding so that we can extend his love to others. Loving others as God does is anything but comfortable. And we will never know true love cooped up all alone in our comfort zones.
Erin Straza is the author of Comfort Detox: Finding Freedom from Habits That Bind You (InterVarsity Press). Learn more at ErinStraza.com. Adapted from Comfort Detox by Erin Straza. Copyright © 2017 by Erin Straza. Used by permission of InterVarsity Press, P.O. Box 1400, Downers Grove, IL 60515-1426. www.ivpress.com.
