Maybe the most intimate, radical thing we can do for our friends is to show up. To show up like Jesus did—in person, willing to experience life with the community around him. When we show up, we are giving our friends the same gift Jesus did: the gift of presence. Like Jesus, we can show up and do one of two things: “Rejoice with those who rejoice; weep with those who weep” (Rom. 12:15). We can cry the ugly cry with our friends and we can also celebrate with whooping and hollering and confetti.
Jesus models what it looks like to invite God into both experiences. Jesus lived the whole arc of the human emotional spectrum—from weddings to funerals. In fact, he announced his public ministry at a wedding—an event of dancing, love, laughter, and passion. In Jewish culture, this was often seven days of unmitigated joy, of food, of family, of telling stories, and celebrating.
But he also stood outside the tomb of a friend as close as a brother and wept alongside friends, strangers, sisters, believers, and doubters. Jesus was tied in friendship to Mary and Martha and he entered fully into their grief. Their joy was his joy; their sorrow was his sorrow.
When we’ve run out of words, when we’re beside ourselves with the pain that we’re watching our friends go through, can we follow Jesus’ example and give them the gift of our presence, our tears, and our sorrow? In joy or grief, may we give our friends ourselves.
Lisa-Jo Baker is the bestselling author of Never Unfriended and the community manager for (in)courage. Connect with her at @lisajobaker. Portions of these devotions have been excerpted or adapted from Never Unfriended: The Secret to Finding and Keeping Lasting Friendship © Lisa-Jo Baker (B&H Publishing Group, 2017). Used by permission, all rights reserved. www.neverunfriended.com.
