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Teaching Our Children to Sleep, Again

Penny and William are now sharing a room. We thought we had concocted a plan that would allow for a smooth transition. We let William have a "sleepover" with Penny for a few weekend nights over the course of a month. Everything went well–they lay in their beds and fell asleep and woke up in the morning. And then we made the permanent move downstairs. The first few nights were fine. Then they discovered how fun it was to play with each other. Then William discovered that, unlike his crib, he could climb out of his bed. He could also come up with excuses for why he shouldn't be in it: "I'm not tired." "I need to go potty." "My elbow hurts."

Eventually, they requested (believe it or not, they really did) that we put up two child gates outside their door to keep them in. Last night, I stood in the hallway listening to Penny instruct William in her best imitation of a drill sergeant: "WILLIAM BECKER!" "You push that part right now!" "Push! Push! Push it down!" The gate toppled. Penny's tone shifted. "Great job, William. I knew you could do it. Let's take a break and then we'll get the other one."

It took another hour or so to get them to sleep, with a few hand spankings (totally effective for Penny, who tearfully implored for a gentle spanking and received it, not so much for William, who reached his hand out with an expression on his face that said, "Bring it.") and much cajoling along the way. The party only continued with William awake at 4:30 this morning. He had spent the night at the foot of Penny's bed, so he woke up cold, without any covers. We moved him into a pack n play, but he never went back to sleep.

It's tempting to put William back upstairs in his crib and keep Marilee in the pack n play. Keep the order. Maintain the distance. Because whether we're children or adults, sharing is tough. It's distracting. They wake each other up. They have to accommodate one another. And yet they also enjoy it. They're becoming a little team, learning how to work together as they try to outwit their parents. They play better together now during the day than they ever have before. They are becoming good friends. And if sleepless nights form a part of a foundation for their friendship, then I think I'll say it's worth it. Even though I really hope it's over soon.

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