"Use your words."

"You can't always get what you want."

"Take a minute to think about it, and then tell me the truth."

"Remember to share."

"Instead of grabbing, please ask nicely."

I repeat these phrases throughout the day, pretty much every day. I want my children to learn how to be kind to one another, how to think about other people's needs in addition to their own, and how to work out problems. I want them to know how to compromise.

As I watched the second Presidential debate on Tuesday night, I wondered whether President Obama and Governor Romney remembered the lessons their parents had taught them in their early years. The debate heated up at times, with each man accusing the other of misleading or untrue assertions. They interrupted each other. They raised their voices. They gave us reasons to be disappointed. NPR called it a "town brawl" instead of a "town hall" meeting. According to the New York Times, both men exaggerated or misrepresented the other's position (or flat out lied). And yet I also suspect that these m­­en–both pragmatic leaders with track records of centrist positions and a willingness to work with the opposition (Romney in Massachusetts, Obama as President)—would both be willing to compromise, to work it out civilly. If we still had a system in which the loser of the Presidential contest became Vice President, I could imagine it working out between these two.

When it comes to civil government and common courtesy, it's not Obama or Romney who need reminders. The people who need a reminder of putting the common good ahead of self-preservation, a reminder of compromise, a reminder of telling the truth and sharing, are our representatives serving in Congress.

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