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Many of these men attend your church. Others are acquaintances of your committed men.
Often men like this have a worldview that's a jumbled concoction cherrypicked from church, television, Business Week, positive thinking seminars, and Harvard Business School. They practice "spare tire" Christianity. It's something in the trunk, just in case. These men often need a massive tank of rocket fuel strapped to their backs to get them off the ground.
This is best accomplished by a purpose-driven momentum-building event built around a topic men are drawn to, such as sports, financial success, or fathering skills. We reach fringe men by providing what they need in the context of what they want. Men respond to "how-to" things. These events allow us to show that Christ answers their "how?" with a big "Who."
These upbeat, non-threatening activities put the cookies on an easy-to-reach shelf where disconnected men can get at them. But the event itself is not the most important tactic here: it's men engaging other men that makes the difference.
Several times at gatherings of Christian men I have asked, "How many of you developed a personal commitment to Christ at a crusade like a Billy Graham event?" A few hands go up. Then I ask, "How many of you made a commitment to Christ because someone took an interest in you and brought you to church?" Many hands go up.
Larry showed up at the special event that the men of his church sponsored. Larry admits he was nervous. He didn't know what to expect, but he saw a couple of guys he knew. One was Bill Yates.
"They did more than shuffle chairs and nametags," Larry said. "They took an interest in me." Bill identified Larry as someone he should befriend.
What Happens After Liftoff
It takes an enormous amount of energy to stage a successful event. It is crucial to capture momentum when you create it. There are two common errors that waste momentum. The first is to attempt too little. You wouldn't go to all the expense of cooling your house to a comfortable 72 degrees in sweltering summer heat, and then leave all the doors and windows open. You would try to capture what you've produced. Likewise, an impressive kick-off event, without a follow-up plan, is a waste of effort.
The second error is to attempt too much. You probably shouldn't say to men who have attended the first event of their lives, "Next week we are going to begin a three-year inductive study of the Bible in Hebrew."
Give attendees a definite next step that they can visualize themselves taking. Don't try to shift them from first gear to fourth gear. Offer them second gear—perhaps a small-group study that lasts three, four, maybe six weeks in length. Don't overwhelm them.
In Larry's case, the speaker closed his session by inviting men to commit to a six-week discussion group—nothing more.
Larry signed up.
Again, he arrived at the first discussion meeting unsure of what to expect. Bill Yates was assigned to be his group leader. Larry ended up enjoying the discussion.
By the third meeting, Larry realized just how much he liked being with the other men in the group. By the last couple of gatherings, the men in Larry's group were opening up and talking about their personal struggles.
Larry's Six-Week Orbit
As Larry attended the follow-up sessions, "God slammed me down on the ground," he recalls. "The bottom just fell out of the barrel."
His marriage reached a crisis point, leading to a 90-day separation. Meanwhile, Larry developed "some real relationships with some godly men" who he feels will be his friends for life. They walked with him through his marriage troubles.
