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What an insight! But what really impressed me was that my friend was practicing it. To know that others don't control our moods is one thing, but to actually live this out is quite another. So practice this lesson every chance you get with a high-maintenance person. If you do, it will soon become a habit.

Set Your Boundaries

As a kid, I was the ball boy for a soccer team at the college where my father worked. I ran back and forth along the sideline ready to retrieve a ball that went out of bounds. Of course, when it did, the action on the field stopped. The same is true when you learn to set boundaries with difficult people. Since life has no referees to blow the whistle or coaches to call a time-out, you become responsible for saying "foul" or "that was out of bounds." You alone manage the game.

So set some boundaries with the high-maintenance people in your life. Set limits on what is acceptable behavior for you. Decide what you want, be specific, and let the person know the rules. When he or she steps out of bounds, blow the whistle and call a time out before you resume play.

Guard Against Infection

Warning: the negativism virus is highly contagious. Think of it this way: When someone honks insistently on the highway, does your ire rise to match theirs? No word has been spoken, but if you are like most people, you catch the driver's negativity.

The point is that when we are around a negative person, we become negative, too. We cut down other people's ideas and make cynical statements. Once infected, it becomes a way of relating. It becomes our membership-dues to acceptance.

So the goal for you is to be objective and observe the person's negative feelings without getting infected by them. Paul gives us the best protection against negativism when he says, "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind" (Romans 12:2).

Recognize the Chemistry Between You

Everybody is somebody's impossible person some of the time. But rarely is somebody everyone's impossible person all of the time. Oh, there are those few annoying exceptions that make it their mission to complicate everyone's existence—you can usually detect them when the mere mention of their presence elicits a resounding "Oh no!" from a group of people. But, thankfully, they are rare.

That's why a good rule of thumb is to remember that the difficulty you experience with most impossible people is in your relationship, not in the person. After all, someone you like very much might get along just fine with someone else you can barely bare. Impossibility, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder.

Les Parrott, Ph.D., is co-director of the Center for Relationship Development at Seattle Pacific University, and author of author of High-Maintenance Relationships and The Control Freak. Visit Dr. Parrott's website at www.RealRelationships.com for hundreds of free video pieces and further advice.