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Adam and Eve are a good example of how that doesn't necessarily work. Surely they didn't raise Cain and Abel so differently, yet one day they buried their son, Abel, who was killed by his brother, Cain. We have no guarantees, but thankfully we have a good God who is in control when we are not.

I've known parents who loved and encouraged their children, and who administered appropriate discipline, yet still, years later, these same parents suffer because of poor decisions their children made. We can do everything we know to do, but there are no guarantees because our children have their own free will. I've noticed that free will is something most of us like to exercise but don't always appreciate in others.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying we shouldn't bother trying to be good parents because our children are going to make their own choices anyway. We need to try, but we also need to remember that some children may take detours.

Tom, a Bible study teacher, requested prayer for his son Bobby, who was taking drugs. Week after week prayers were offered while Tom saw few results. Still, he persevered, leaving the outcome to God. It was a long, painful journey, but God brought Bobby out of the situation after many months. Today, Bobby is a father and a youth pastor with a passion for children. While Tom could do nothing, he trusted his child to God, who could do anything.

Good parents treat their children equally

Judy couldn't believe her ears when those in her Bible study aired their frustrations as parents. She quietly wondered how anyone could struggle with something she found so easy. Perhaps they didn't possess good parenting skills, such as the ones she used with her little darlings. And then, Judy had her third child.

It became painfully apparent that little Dana had never heard about her mom's tried-and-true methods. Judy found herself frenzied before her day even began. No longer was she proud of her techniques; instead she was full of questions and confusion. She learned the truth that every child is different.

Instead of worrying about producing good children, maybe our focus should be on learning to be good parents. We do this by becoming students of the little ones entrusted to us.

In my family of origin there were rules. These rules were unchangeable, set in stone. They applied to all of us with no variation whatsoever. But when we look at our children, we can easily see they are not the same. We benefit greatly by working with those differences.

Will we make mistakes? Yes, as long as we're breathing we may make mistakes, but we also have the ability to try again—to get down to the eye level of our little ones and let them know how important they are, that they are a gift to us, made in the image of God.

Being a parent is a privilege. It may not always feel that way, but children are a gift from God. Granted, there are days you need a break from them, but nonetheless, they are gifts. When we were blessed with children, we were not left on our own. God encourages us to ask for wisdom if we need it (James 1:5). And if you're a parent, you need it!

And part of the wisdom God gives us is to appreciate our children's individual strengths and weaknesses. We can count on God to help us because no one knows our children like he does. He created them, counting each hair. Children were God's idea, and as far as I'm concerned, one of his best.

Anne Peterson is a poet, speaker, and author of over 42 published Bible studies. You can learn more about her at www.annepeterson.com.

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