VALENTINE BOUQUET

A rash of comic valentines has appeared at the Market Square Church. Results were unfortunate. These samples show the danger of such a practice:

For Our Preacher

I do not love thee, Dr. Fell,

The reason why I cannot tell,

But this I know, and know full well,

I get a headache when you yell.

S. S. Teacher’s Reproof

“Johnny Pistol, I declare

You’ve cut a curl from Annie’s hair,

Carved initials in your chair,

And while I glared in your direction,

Put bubble gum in our collection!

If you don’t stop, you shall not have your

Big gold star for best behavior!”

To Our Electronic Organist

With calm deliberation

you make your preparation

Depress the little stops …

and Whoom! the detonation!

How can you keep your balance,

serenity, and poise,

While stomping on the pedals

that booming bass of noise?

Your grand fortissimo piles

the decibels in cubes;

What supersonic sock

from the vacuum in tubes!

For a plaque above your organ

we bring this metal casting.

We found it by the roadside;

it says, Beware of Blasting!

The Ushers

The marching file moves in style

Down the aisle

In smooth formation. Each carnation

As punctuation

Bobs as one. The offering done,

With crisp precision now retiring

And quite aloof from eyes admiring

They slip into a narthex pew

Hid from view,

And there they shed the manner formal

Endure the sermon as is normal

With yawns and whispers, nods and giggles

Some gossip, titters, coughs and wiggles,

Each polished dandy munching candy.

This is the preacher’s heart’s desire—

To hush the ushers and the choir!

EUTYCHUS

HOLLYWOOD AND BABYLON

The Halverson article, “Any Good—from Hollywood?” (Dec. 23 issue), is a statement in favor of a qualified recognition of the movies. Stephen W. Paine in The Christian and the Movies (Eerdman’s, 1957) presents the indictment.… ...

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