Eutychus and His Kin: January 4, 1963

Resolutions

If I may claim your courtesy,

I ask that you would print for me

In January, Sixty-Three

For all my Eutykin to see

These New Year’s resolutions.

(The uses of publicity

May underwrite a guarantee

Correcting the fragility

Of resolutions framed by me.

Resolves should gain longevity

When printed for posterity.)

I should resolve to give up Cokes

And buying books and telling jokes;

I should resolve to answer mail

The day I get it, without fail;

To count my calories and weigh

The consequences every day;

To take a break without a snack

And learn to drink my Sanka black.

Domestic duty calls for action:

Some traces of dissatisfaction

Appear in notes in which the author

Describes her plans for kitchen tile, or

(What strengthens my resolve the most) her

Concern that I should fix the toaster.

The faucets leak, the stove is stuck,

The kitchen drain is clogged with muck;

It is apparent that, in fact,

The only way to keep intact

Monogamous alliance is

Repairing home appliances.

Resolving, it is plain to see,

Will be my job for Sixty-Three,

For other areas arise:

Before I lay in my supplies

To mend my fences near and far,

I must put Esso in my car—

And then resolve to moderate

That itching to accelerate;

To view with Christian charity

The driver just in front of me,

And tolerate the lead she gains

By Dodging action in two lanes.

On second thought, or third, I see

No profit from your courtesy.

The list is long and will not finish

For numbering will not diminish

The unending mending required.

Resolution is no solution

For a Happy New Year!

Racket And Ricochet

I have read with interest the feature article … by the Rev. Glendon E. Harris (Nov. 23 issue) entitled: “The Quietest Racket in America”.…

Everyone knows that transient men and families apply to the churches for help and crooks ...

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