If I may claim your courtesy,
I ask that you would print for me
In January, Sixty-Three
For all my Eutykin to see
These New Year’s resolutions.
(The uses of publicity
May underwrite a guarantee
Correcting the fragility
Of resolutions framed by me.
Resolves should gain longevity
When printed for posterity.)
I should resolve to give up Cokes
And buying books and telling jokes;
I should resolve to answer mail
The day I get it, without fail;
To count my calories and weigh
The consequences every day;
To take a break without a snack
And learn to drink my Sanka black.
Domestic duty calls for action:
Some traces of dissatisfaction
Appear in notes in which the author
Describes her plans for kitchen tile, or
(What strengthens my resolve the most) her
Concern that I should fix the toaster.
The faucets leak, the stove is stuck,
The kitchen drain is clogged with muck;
It is apparent that, in fact,
The only way to keep intact
Monogamous alliance is
Repairing home appliances.
Resolving, it is plain to see,
Will be my job for Sixty-Three,
For other areas arise:
Before I lay in my supplies
To mend my fences near and far,
I must put Esso in my car—
And then resolve to moderate
That itching to accelerate;
To view with Christian charity
The driver just in front of me,
And tolerate the lead she gains
By Dodging action in two lanes.
On second thought, or third, I see
No profit from your courtesy.
The list is long and will not finish
For numbering will not diminish
The unending mending required.
Resolution is no solution
For a Happy New Year!
Racket And Ricochet
I have read with interest the feature article … by the Rev. Glendon E. Harris (Nov. 23 issue) entitled: “The Quietest Racket in America”.…
Everyone knows that transient men and families apply to the churches for help and crooks ...1
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