Christian Answers to Immaturity

“Immaturity stands out as ‘Number One’ troublemaker in bringing about mental, emotional and social ills.” This is the conclusion reached in an important study made nearly twenty years ago. A personality disorder with such far-reaching effects demands close examination, and any system that holds out hope of preventing or alleviating so mischievous a condition also deserves a hearing.

When we think of immaturity we think of children. They are deficient in knowledge and in judgment. They are easily frightened and may respond with emotion to a very slight stimulus. We do not blame children for being immature; we recognize this as a stage of development. Trouble-making immaturity is that found in older persons who in some respect have not given up childish behavior.

Immaturity is basically a defect of development. Personality undergoes growth, just as muscles and bones do. Immaturity of personality may be compared to the deformity that results from childhood paralysis. When a group of muscles is paralyzed, a limb may fail to grow as the rest of the body grows, resulting in deformity or disproportion. When some aspect of personality fails to undergo normal development, the defect that results may hinder interpersonal relationships as muscular atrophy hampers body movements. If such a defect persists into adult life, it is classified in psychiatry as a personality disorder.

To find the causes of immaturity, therefore, we must examine the developmental period. The long period in human life between birth and adulthood is the time when gradual transition from babyhood to full-grown responsibility should be accomplished. To understand immaturity, we need to know what occurs to hinder this transition. By starting with some common forms of adult immaturity and tracing them backward, we find there are three common causes: the overgrowth of some particular trait in early childhood, a stunting of early development, or the imitation of a faulty personality pattern seen in others.

Causes Of Immaturity

Insecurity is an important cause of the defective development that produces immaturity. Many studies have shown that the child senses at a very early age whether his environment is secure and consistent or harsh and unpredictable. Every child is presumed to experience some degree of anxiety as a part of the developmental process. Since anxiety is ordinarily neutralized or held within manageable limits by the love and protection given in the home; maternal closeness and tenderness are extremely important. If the child’s anxiety is excessive, as may occur when he encounters competition for the mother’s love, or when he perceives inconsistency or some degree of hostility in the mother’s care, then parental affection may be inadequate. And so the child seeks some other way of neutralizing his anxiety. He may withdraw into himself, or he may actively seek the support of other persons. Either of these strategies may become a dominant pattern, resulting in exaggerated seclusiveness, aggressiveness, or dependency. The disorders of personality have been classified and named according to the most prominent characteristic.

A second cause of warped personality is constant exposure to faulty example in persons With whom the child is closely associated. By the process known as identification, children and young people tend to adopt the characteristics—good or bad—of other persons who are in some way important to them. In a home where parents or siblings continually react with sullen, obstructive behavior, or with hostility and violence, these reactions are likely to become a part of the personality of the growing child who is constantly exposed to them. By identifying himself with the persons around him, he may develop similar patterns and traits.

Personality disorder in the making may also be seen when a parent who has a deep-seated, selfish need to keep a child close fosters immaturity by usurping the child’s autonomy. A father may make all the decisions, or a mother may be over-protective in not permitting the child adequate freedom of movement or choice. If children have not had the opportunity to develop self-reliance, they often come to adult life as extremely dependent persons.

Forms Of Immaturity

Dependency is probably the commonest form of immaturity. The child must have other persons care for him because he is helpless. As he learns muscular control and coordination, he is expected to do things for himself. Gradually he becomes independent and no longer needs the assistance of others. When he is small, his parents select his food and his clothes, direct the use of his time. As he grows he is taught how to choose for himself and to make his own decisions. But some people come to adult life with no experience in making their own choices.

Dependency is especially common in adolescence, where transition from the weakness of childhood into the autonomy of adulthood normally occurs. The young person may find it hard to accept responsibility for the choices that confront him, and may need to lean upon parents or other persons in decision-making. He may be unwilling to go away from home, or reluctant to leave college when his education is complete. Sometimes extreme dependency is the result of a long childhood illness or some other early need for parental closeness; but more often, parents have not encouraged development of the self-confidence that underlies initiative.

One of the most objectionable forms of immaturity is aggressiveness. Normally, aggressive behavior is tempered in the process of growth, so that anti-social impulses are modified or checked. As the child develops, anger, violence, and tantrums should give way to discussion, logic, and compromise as ways of meeting childhood frustration. If the growing person carries aggressive behavior into adult life, he may be punished by society or suffer retaliation by other hostile persons. He may become a bully, a tyrant, or a criminal.

Aggressiveness may also be expressed by obstructive maneuvers. Such behavior, known to the psychiatrist as passive aggressiveness, is seen on a corporate scale in the ranks of labor when a factory is “struck.” The strike is passive, since it consists of work stoppage, but it is nevertheless an aggressive act. In adults, sulkiness, obstinate non-cooperation, or prolonged inactivity may signify a passive aggressive tendency carried over from childhood. The immature adult, as well as the child, may pout and may refuse to speak or act. Passive aggressive behavior makes many marital problems and is often manifested by refusal to talk, sexual withholding, or other forms of non-cooperation. The college student may retaliate passively against parental domination and may sabotage an academic program by “goofing off” and failing courses.

Another common type of immaturity is narcissism, named after the mythical youth who fell in love with his own reflection. For a time the growing child is the center of attention, either because he needs care or because he is cute. He may find this attention pleasurable and devise ways to attract and hold the notice of others. The approval and the admiration of other people may become so important to him that he constantly seeks to be the focus of attention, even when he reaches adulthood. The child of actor parents may become a precocious performer and grow up craving applause as a part of his everyday life. In normal development a need to be the center of attention becomes socialized and balanced by consideration for others. When that does not occur, the result is the form of immaturity known as narcissism.

The child who has been overindulged and under-disciplined often becomes narcissistic, expecting to have what he wants when he wants it, without deferring to others or exerting self-discipline. Egocentricity in adult life may show itself in an excessive hunger for the praise and approbation of others. Such a person may become a politician, an actor, or an athlete, or may find some other occupation that satisfies his narcissistic craving. Another may have such an inordinate appetite for self-gratification that he rides over the rights of others and satisfies his desires in anti-social ways.

Psychiatry has followed the pattern of clinical medicine in assigning diagnostic names to these defects of personality, but the disorders themselves are as old as mankind. Man’s struggle with his internal stresses and distortions has always been a concern of religion. The Bible contains many examples of personality disorder among its character portraits, and prescribes remedies for their correction.

The idea that emotional problems may be found among Christians is disturbing to many people; they would like to believe that regeneration not only changes the direction of life but transforms personality. There is a sense in which this is true of Christian commitment, since Christ, rather than self, becomes the focus of devotion and loyalty. But recentering is only the beginning; the slow and often painful reordering of life remains to be accomplished.

William James illustrates the point graphically in his discussion of habit. He refers to the drunken Rip Van Winkle in Jefferson’s play who says, “I won’t count it this time.” Comments James, “Well, he may not count it, and a kind heaven may not count it, but it is being counted nonetheless. Down among his nerve cells and fibers the molecules are counting it, registering and storing it up.” Divine forgiveness extends to the whole of life, and resolves the guilt of sin, but the memory of wrongdoing endures because it has been written into the nervous system. Just as memory remains, so patterns of dependency, of aggressiveness, of egocentric gratification, are deeply rooted in personality as continuing tendencies. “The molecules” may continue to clamor for sensual gratification and indulgence. Impulses and habits that have been established by years of repetition must be replaced by new patterns of conduct, often in direct opposition to the old.

Often personality disorders are recognized by almost everyone except the person concerned. If these defects are obvious to others, why are they not apparent to the person himself? The answer is that we avoid the discomfort of such self-knowledge by deceiving ourselves in various ways. Neurosis, another kind of emotional disorder, is often found in company with immaturity and may contribute to its stubborn persistence. It is the nature of neurosis to distort reality and to deceive its victims. Neurotic self-deception uses many devices and subterfuges to resist change and to maintain the gratifying habit patterns of childhood. We may misrepresent our weaknesses as strengths, we may mislocate them by attributing them to other people, or we may deny outright that they exist. We seek to avoid confrontation with our own defects by fabricating plausible arguments for what we want to believe. Since every person is eager to disbelieve his own faults, self-insight is not easy to achieve.

A Specialist May Be Needed

One of the important functions of psychiatry is to help the neurotic person penetrate the defensive screen of his own self-deception and renounce the devices that enable him to obscure or deny his own responsibility. The person who suffers from neurosis or immaturity may need the assistance of the specialist in emotional disorders to help him achieve insight, just as he would need an orthopedist if he had a fracture.

But long before psychiatry devised its methods of penetrating neurotic self-deception, the worship-forms of the temple and the church were helping man confront and acknowledge his dishonest stratagems. The psalmist sought to be kept from open sins, but, knowing the universal predilection toward self-deception, also prayed, “Who can understand his errors? Cleanse thou me from secret faults” (Ps. 19:12). The earnest worshiper has always recognized the need to penetrate the deceit of his own stubborn resistance and gain an undistorted view of himself. For centuries he has offered anew the prayer of David, “Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me …” (Ps. 139:23, 24).

Insight is needed to penetrate the specious devices that protect the person against recognizing the distortion of his own personality. But insight alone is not enough. Anguish, despair, and guilt may result when a person recognizes the enormity of his own blindness and self-seeking. Isaiah in the temple perceived his wickedness and lamented, “I am undone” (Isa. 6:5).

Insight may bring some progress, but when the egocentric patterns of childhood extend into adult life, self-indulgence, impulsive behavior, and deeply rooted habits tend to persist. Self-gratification and pleasure-seeking must be subordinated to discipline. Awareness of others and a concern for their welfare must transcend the self-centered focus of earlier years. Impulse must be brought under reasoned control. Sustained effort is required to surmount the obstacles that block the path to maturity.

Insight may begin the movement toward maturity and effort may be a propelling force, but time is also required for growth toward the new ideal, as defective habits and reactions are supplanted by wholesome and constructive ones. The equilibrium that has become fixed at the level of self-love must be broken up and reestablished in a widening awareness. This is a painfully slow process.

Up to this point, psychiatry and theology, which are often at odds with one another, can agree on the elements required for movement out of immaturity: insight, effort, and process. But here psychiatry is likely to rest its case. The psychiatrist is often reluctant to encourage therapy beyond the attainment of insight, since therapeutic achievement in the treatment of personality disorders has its limitations.

From this point, theology and psychology go their separate ways. One psychology is pessimistic, and sees man moving inexorably with unconscious purpose toward his own self-destruction. Another is cheerfully optimistic, contending that man isn’t really bad, that he has a built-in forward-moving drive for enhancement and growth toward a “socialized maturity.” Christian theology acknowledges man’s predilection to evil but asserts a no-ceiling potential for growth by the operation of divine grace within personality.

Paul acknowledges the universal human predicament: “I can will what is right, but I cannot do it” (Rom. 7:18). But he did not stop there. As a participant in divine grace Paul adds a triumphant sequel: “I can do all things through Him who infuses strength into me” (Phil. 4:13, Barclay). The bestowal of grace—divine love in action—enables man to achieve what he cannot accomplish in his own strength.

Insight, effort, and process are not enough to overcome the egocentricity that frustrates man’s highest aspirations. Without the reinforcement of divine grace, striving for maturity becomes a bootstrap operation. Christian theology declares, to use the words of Stephen Neill, that “grace … is an indwelling power that recreates from within and that is illimitable in its power to refashion broken human nature after the likeness … of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

The biblical way to maturity asserts the primacy of enabling grace but recognizes human effort and sustained process as essential elements. Psychopathology, no less than organic disease, requires time for full mobilization of a man’s own restorative powers. It is he who must activate self-discipline, establish constructive habits, and carry out his own reeducation. It is he who must turn off sinful fantasy, remove himself from the way of physical temptation, and restrain himself from evil speaking.

Paul’s epistles are studded with such imperatives as, “Train yourself in godliness.… Practice these duties, devote yourself to them, so that all may see your progress” (1 Tim. 4:7, 15). “Paul would have said that a Christian is a man who strives, every day he lives, to make more and more real and actual and visible and convincing that which he is ideally and potentially by his union with Jesus Christ” (James S. Stewart, A Man in Christ, p. 199). Paul recognized, too, that maturity is an ultimate goal, one that is never fully realized in this life but that continually demands the Christian’s utmost exertion. “My one thought is,” he wrote, “by forgetting what lies behind me and straining to what lies before me, to press on to the goal for the prize of God’s high call in Christ Jesus” (Phil. 3:13, 14, Moffatt).

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