When Appeals Appall

Mortimer Eggleston has solved one of the most pressing problems that serious Christians face today: how to find time to read and respond to all the parachurch appeal letters that arrive in the mail. When we heard of Eggleston’s achievement, we drove right over for a personal interview.

“Just what is your solution to the problem of appeal letters?” we asked.

“It’s very simple,” he replied. “I publish a magazine called Appeal Digest. In it we print summaries of the most important appeal letters received, and we rate them—5-star, 4-star, and so on. You can read Appeal Digest in maybe half an hour and get it over with.”

“But how does the reader respond? I mean, suppose he wants to send a donation to an organization?”

Mortimer smiled and turned to the last page of Appeal Digest.

“The last page of each issue is a response form. You fill in your name, address, and other pertinent information, and then check off the items that most interest you. Mail it in with your check, and my office processes the form and sends the gift to the ministry you have chosen. It’s really quite simple.”

We were stunned. But then came the big question.

“If we subscribe to Appeal Digest, we’ll still receive a lot of appeal letters and won’t have to read them. What should we do with them?”

Mortimer smiled an even bigger smile and reached into the bottom drawer of his desk. He brought out a metal device that (as he demonstrated) fit right over the top of the wastebasket. He dropped a letter into the top of the device and it immediately fell to the bottom of the basket.

“We call this our para-chute,” he explained. “Appeal letters from parachurch organizations go right down the chute. The device fits all letters and all wastebaskets.”

There it is, ...

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