Better Than The Funnies

The comics have become so violent that I have taken to finding my amusement elsewhere in the Sunday paper. My latest choice is the “religion section,” which, in our metropolitan newspaper, is chock-full of holy hilarity. Any educated pagan who reads the church ads on Saturday evening must wonder whether the churches differ at all from the theaters. I have often wondered myself.

At any rate, to get the full comical impact of the church pages, you must read them in a systematic manner. Over the years, I have developed a sure-fire technique, which I now unselfishly share with you.

1. Read the names of the churches first. We have come a long way from “The Church of Ephesus” or “The Church in Sardis.” In fact, we have even come a long way from “First Baptist Church” or “Wilson Memorial Church.” Today we have religious assemblies known as “The Original Apostolic Church #2,” or “Fragrant Fellowship Church,” or “The Seventh Seal Spiritual Assembly.” From time to time, you will discover some favorite names missing from the ads. Alas, the rent came due, or the shepherd ran off to greener pastures and the sheep were scattered. I am still watching in our newspaper for the return of “Glorious Tidings of Eternal Truth Tabernacle” and “The Church of Signs, Wonders, and Holy Afflatus.” If you find them in your paper, please let me know.

2. Read the sermon titles. Most of the titles will be painfully and academically dull, like “Controlling Your Anger—#34 in a series on the Sermon on the Mount,” and “Should We Use Fermented Wine at the Lord’s Supper?” (That one was #12 in a series on “Vital Church Problems of Today.”) But do not give up! Hidden in the ads are some priceless sermon titles that make all your searching worthwhile. How I would have enjoyed listening to “Slingers, Sluggers, and Slouchers.” I wonder what the text was? “The Goneness of the Past and the Comingness of the Future” is a title that fascinated me.

3. Look for special events and special guests. For example, would you not enjoy hearing somebody sing all 22 chapters of the Book of Revelation? I found that one advertised in a Canadian newspaper. You will find the usual number of gospel magicians, puppeteers, ventriloquists, and karate experts. But you may also locate a gospel hypnotist, a midget who plays a bass fiddle from the inside, a fellow who plays selections from Messiah on converted beer bottles, and a lady who claims she was once a Siamese twin but was miraculously set free by the angel Gabriel.

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Henry Ward Beecher once said in his Plymouth pulpit, “The advertisements in a newspaper are more full of knowledge in respect to what is going on in a state or community then the editorial columns are.” Alas, Henry, you are right! “He that sitteth in the heavens shall laugh.…”

EUTYCHUS X

Golden Opportunity

I agree with Tom McCabe in his article, “Reagan’s Budget Cuts Challenge the Church” [Oct. 2], that Christians are now presented with a responsibility as well as a golden opportunity as never before to reach out to people less fortunate, particularly the poor. I was left with the uneasy feeling that McCabe is suggesting the church should fill the financial gap created by Reaganomics. (What a gap! 22.3 billion dollars the first year alone.)

What the church can and should do in the area of alleviating human misery is what it has always been commanded to do: lovingly share the good news of Jesus Christ and be generous in meeting human need as it has opportunity. The federal government with all its wealth never had this combination of resources at hand.

Christians have the opportunity to make their voices heard at the state level regarding human service programs. State legislators badly need to hear from Christians.

EVAN BERTSCHE

Bowling Green State University

Bowling Green, Ohio

McCabe’s article should be required study material for all Christian leaders of the New Right. Jerry Falwell and others in his camp have correctly discerned that social welfare programs are not a proper function of the state, but they have not been so vocal in proclaiming the church’s biblical mandate to “remember the poor” (Gal. 2:10). One wishes these gifted leaders would use their widespread influence to call the church to a ministry of active concern for the socially and economically deprived; perhaps then there would be fewer accusations of “heartlessness” from the liberals, and more praises lifted to our God who leads us to act in love.

TOM GILSON

Riverside, Calif.

Disappointing Departure From Tradition

Your recent treatment of the so-called scandal involving the Southern Baptist Sunday School Board [“Former Southern Baptist Sunday School Board Officer Wins Settlement,” Oct. 2], is a disappointing departure from your tradition. Your attempt to capitalize on the sensational and lurid is unworthy of your magazine. The center spread article implied that the “king of all the religious publishers” was guilty until proven innocent, and that the very size and scope of the Sunday school board’s operation is suspect. It appears to me that your intent is to discredit the Sunday school board and embarrass Southern Baptists through a very biased treatment of a very serious and sensitive problem. Surely you would expect more compassion and understanding if the Sunday school board were writing about a similar problem in your organization.

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ROY J. SMITH

Baptist State Convention

Raleigh, N.C.

As a recent convert to Jesus Christ, and a former Southern Baptist, I can step back and look at the picture and get a better view as opposed to the one who is in the picture. In methods of operation, what is the difference between Southern Baptists and the Moonies? It appears they all have one thing in common—unregeneration! It appears that the God of the universe is starting to clean his house.

CHARLES E. BAILEY

Orlando, Fla.

Cult Or Christ-Centered Body?

I was shocked to read “Mormons and Scouts: A Happy Mix” [Oct. 2]. It should have read: “Mormons and Scouts: A Disastrous Mix.”

It shocks me to see the Mormons listed as any other Bible-believing, Christ-centered body of our Lord Jesus Christ! What an abomination! They are a cult, and a deadly one at that.

Are you aware that the Mormon church does not accept that Jesus Christ is the living Son of God and the only way, truth, and life? It frightens me greatly to see how so many are accepting Mormonism and their definite demonic church!

GARY DENTON

Burnsville, N.C.

As religion editor of the Sentinel Star, Orlando, Florida, I read many religious publications and periodicals and consider yours one of the finest of its genre. I must, however, take exception to a slur parenthetically inserted into this article. The editorial comment stated flatly that the Mormon church is “far removed from Christianity.”

The actual name of the church is The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. The first Article of Faith says, “We believe in God, the Eternal Father, and in His Son, Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Ghost.” The third Article of Faith says, “We believe that through the Atonement of Christ, all mankind may be saved …” and the fourth Article says, “We believe that the first principles and ordinances of the Gospel are: first, Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ; second, Repentance; third, Baptism by immersion for the remission of sins; fourth, Laying on of hands for the gift of the Holy Ghost.”

To say that the Mormon church does not believe in Jesus as the Christ is as ludicrous as to say the apostles were not Christians because they did not have the King James version of the Bible to study.

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Mormons are not biblical inerrantists and they accept additional material as Scripture which, they believe, serves as additional witness to the divinity of Jesus as the Christ. That does not reduce their testimony of Christ, but serves to strengthen their conviction in that direction, they feel.

There are many things about the Mormon church that are divergent from “mainstream Christianity.” Their belief in Christ, however, is not one of those divergencies. Mormons hold that the greatest commandment is to love the Lord and the second is to “love thy neighbor as thyself.” Jesus Christ himself is the cornerstone of the church, according to Mormon doctrine.

JOHN S. GHOLDSTON

Sentinel Star

Orlando, Fla.

Crucial Lessons

Kudos should go out from all of us to CT and Frank Gaebelein for his article, “Heeding the Whole Counsel of God” [Oct. 2]. Its lessons are crucial for our time.

ROBERT M. METCALF

Christian Studies

Center Memphis, Tenn.

This article could well be required reading for all of us who confess Christ as Savior. I have been a Christian for more than 50 years, yet it has only been in recent years that I have felt it imperative to take a strong stand on social issues that bear on the quality of human life. Dr. Gaebelein is correct when he points out that to neglect the issues that concern the quality of life is to risk disobeying our Lord.

JOSEPH T. RADEL

Bishop, Calif.

Correction

In the October 2, 1981, review of my book, Divine Rest for Human Restlessness, the Pontifical Gregorian University Press was mistakenly given as the publisher instead of the printer of the book. I myself am the publisher and distributor of the book.

SAMUELE BACCHIOCCHI

Berrien Springs, Mich.

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