Denomination For Every Family

Harvey Jackson announced today the formation of Denominations Aplenty, an organization committed to the idea that we need more denominations, not fewer. Eutychus interviewed Jackson at his Broken Arrow, Oklahoma, headquarters.

Eutychus: Why more denominations, Harv?

Jackson: Every man’s religion is a personal thing between him and God. Our goal for the eighties is for every family in the United States to have its own denomination. By the year 2000, we hope to extend that to a denomination for each and every family member.

Eutychus: That seems to fly in the face of Christian unity.

Jackson: Unity is a myth. Name one good thing that ever came out of large denominations.

Eutychus: Fellowship.

Jackson: All right, name another.

Eutychus: Peace, understanding …

Jackson: You’re missing the point. Ever since the Reformation we’ve been stressing more and more the priesthood of the believer. My organization is simply carrying that to its logical conclusion.

Think of the benefits: No more denominational politics, no more fights over who controls the church, no more petty theological disputes.

Listen, Euty: If you had your own denomination you could settle things nice and peacefully between you and God. There would be no hassles about organizations. Just happy Christians.

Eutychus: What’s your plan to carry out this mission?

Jackson: We’ve put together a “Start Your Own Denomination” kit that sells for $29.95. Each kit includes a cassette tape of Jane Fonda singing “I Gotta Be Me,” a book of unregistered names for new denominations, and quickie incorporation papers for the state in which you choose to register your denomination.

Eutychus: I don’t think I can endorse your plan, Harvey.

Jackson: Don’t worry about it. I’m ...

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