Not Safe, But Good

A couple weeks ago, when Coraline first hit theaters, we asked readers what they thought about scary movies for kids—not scaring them just for the sake of being scared, but scaring with a message while making an important point … as Coraline does. We wondered, "Where do you draw the line as parents?" And, "What are some scary movies that have 'worked' well for your kids?" Here are some of the responses.

Not safe, but good

With parental guidance (required, not suggested), kids need to understand the dangers of "scary things." We have become a society of hover-parents, who seem to think our reason to exist is to prevent every possible badness from happening to our kids. Sometimes, however, "badness" is good. The skinned knee reminds us not to be so reckless; the tender tongue not to stick it to a frozen flagpole. The bloody nose causes us to reflect on what is worth fighting for, and to consider that battle is not without cost. I believe it was Mr. Beaver who, when Lucy asked if the great Lion was safe, replied: "Safe? Of course he's not safe! But he's good."
—Don White

I recently heard Tony Campolo speak, and he was trying to communicate to parents that "safe" is not what we are raising kids to be. Safe kids will not change the world. Instead, we want them to be wise, powerful, courageous, tenacious, furious at injustice, unprotected from reality, totally dedicated to serving Christ and his beloved people. I don't know exactly how taking kids to scary movies contributes to this, or when in their development it is best to begin the process. That is up to each parent to decide. But I do know that my children and I have had some outstanding discussions of issues of faith prompted by the inappropriate or disturbing behavior of people in movies. It's all about seizing opportunities to thrust our children forward into Christian maturity. City of Ember is an example of a movie many parents may have found too dark, but it was a great example of heroism by a couple of young people who broke the rules to save their society. We all loved it, and learned from it.
—Colleen Fuller

As a parent, I'm tired of the movie industry trying to scare my kids, whether it's with a good message or not. My parents didn't have to answer a crazy question like this. We all have a movie that terrified us when we were young. Do I wish I hadn't seen it? Absolutely. Can I 100 percent know what movies will or will not scare my children? No. We expect way too much out of kids today. They don't need to grow up so fast. The world will take care of that on its own. In the meantime, this momma will continue to be momma bear.
—Leanne Osgood

Pinocchio, The Wizard of Oz, Spirited Away, Mirrormask, even The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe are all fine examples of scary movies for children. Because they are all steeped in the classic fairy tale tradition. These types of well-written, well-made films can provide integral lessons to youth as they journey on the scariest trip of all: the road to adulthood. Coraline is an excellent addition to that canon. Just as Sen in Spirited Away needed to learn the values of hard work and respect to free her parents, Coraline must learn to put aside selfish desires (childish things, anyone?) and learn to honor her parents (hmm, where have we heard that before?) Coraline is a fantastic modern fairy tale. I am glad to see Henry Selick recommending it for 8 and over-he's spot on there. We do no favors to our children by wrapping them in bubble wrap and feeding them a steady diet of cinematic pabulum. "Family-friendly" need not mean "intellectually stunted." These types of films, watched with a discerning eye, teach deep lessons. Sometimes, we need to be reminded of these lessons viscerally. Everyone stood up and cheered when Mel Gibson made his point about the sacrifice of Christ by drenching the Gospels in blood. Yes, that was a film for adults. But it plumbs the same depths as Coraline and the others I mentioned. Sometimes truth can be unpleasant. Scary movies for kids can ease that knowledge, and help our children truly understand what it is to be a fully formed person.
—Scott Piehler

While I can understand allowing a child to be frightened for a reason, I'd have to preview the movie myself before allowing my 11-year-old to see it. I value my sleep too much.
—Teena Dorn

I am usually really strict with what my kids watch, which they constantly complain about. My two boys (9 and 12) occasionally have watched PG-13 movies with violence (Star Wars) but I don't think that is what you mean by scary. I encouraged my 12-year-old to watch I Am Legend, not realizing that although he has seen screen violence he has not been exposed to scary suspense. Nothing truly gory or bad happens in the movie, but it is really scary. He was traumatized, and weeks later he still couldn't get the images out of his head. Did this movie have a point? Absolutely. Did he get it? No, he was too distracted by the "scare."
—Linda Allen

A scary scene from 'Pinocchio'

I wonder why we're so sensitive about scary children's movies now, when the ones we and our parents grew up with were pretty frightening. Pinocchio is locked up in a cage and taken away from his father (OK, after he disobeys and wanders away with a stranger—ooh, there's a lesson there, maybe?). Later, he travels to Pleasure Island and sees disobedient boys turn into donkeys (that scared me to pieces as a kid), who are later whipped by a mean carriage driver. He only loses his own tail and ears when he repents: More lessons! What our grandparents and parents had, though, is something sadly lacking in a lot of parents and filmmakers now—good sense. My parents would have never let me see a really scary movie when I was a kid, and often told me I could not see films my friends had seen because they knew it would be too much for me (Night of the Living Dead, anyone?).
—Sarah Shaver

If the scare is going to last past the closing credits, it's just not worth it. Being scared in the moment can produce a teachable moment, but if the kid is prone to nightmares then nothing is being learned. Our daughter quit watching movies with villains when she was four and is just now, at eight, ready to start embracing tense scenes. Truly scary is still years away.
—Caryn Kirk

Coraline' is creepy, but demonic?

After watching the trailer for Coraline, I wouldn't go to see the movie even as an adult! You can see the DARKNESS in the people who created the movie! They look DEMONIC. You can see it in their faces. What a horrible movie to thrust upon our children or the public for that matter!
—Rev. William Sandstedt

I have wrestled with scary movies for my kids. I guess I just keep asking in the flavor of Philippians 4:8: "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." Is this movie going to help my kids think about such things? Or, in the spirit of 1 Corinthians 6:12: "Everything is permissible for me"—but not everything is beneficial. Is this movie beneficial? Often the answer is "no" and we don't see many movies, but very occasionally the answer is yes.This standard would also apply to adult movies!
—Missy Rhen

The bottom line is this: Every single child is different, and the parents should know their child best. If your child is 12 and scared of things, I don't care if a movie is rated G—if it's going to scare your child, don't take them. If you aren't sure, read your child a thoughtful review of the movie and see if they even want to go. Some children of 6 aren't scared by anything. Some children love the feeling of feeling scared; they're aware that it's "just" a movie. There is never a perfect solution, but if parents thought about it and spent more time with their kids, it would be better.
—Vicki Anderholt

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