I sat across from a beautiful black female with a modern-day afro. She and I were having lunch and she was eager to speak with me about her personal experience as an African American female in a predominantly white church. She shared that the words I had written in a recent blog post on the topic were the exact thoughts about which she had been journaling. She commended my bravery and admitted she didn't quite know how to articulate her pinned-up emotions until seeing it through the pen of another. Tears running down her face, she continued talking and pouring out her heart's desire for a husband, something that seems elusive to her as she contemplates the rare chance of a fellow congregate of the opposite sex—and race—taking an interest in her. I reminded her of the good news of the gospel; that God delights in and loves her. At that moment I realized she and many others silently struggle and grapple with various unyielding questions and desires, making the topic of the black female experience in predominantly white reformed churches truly important.

But, where are the resources?

I am a firm believer that God has given us all we need for growth and godliness in His Word (2 Timothy 3:16-17); yet, books and publications are a gift from God. As I peruse the available resources for me, a black female reformed Christian, I find there are none written by reformed Christians that speak directly to my experience. There are plenty of resources for women, plenty about theology, and even a few wonderful books about the historical nature of the church and the African American experience, such as Anthony J. Carter's On Being Black and Reformed. There is, however, an apparent lack of awareness that the black reformed female experience is indeed different from merely the male experience. It was God's idea to create male and female and it was God's idea to create the black female. The unique and specific needs of the black female have been unintentionally overlooked. It is clear to me, more than ever, that these needs are important and should be addressed.

Where do we go from here?

The conversation has begun and it would be a shame and a disservice to allow these issues to once again be buried. Here are topics that I'd like to explore further:

1. What does biblical femininity look like for the black female? And if it's the same, which it will be, how then do we address it knowing that the black female experience in America has historically been different than the white female experience in America?

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2. Some black females have an identity that is in crisis. There are many of us, living in white communities, attending white churches, even identifying with white people, yet, feeling and sensing the difference. Let's talk about our identity in Christ and break down the identity in crisis.

3. How can church leaders address the desire for marriage and family among black women? These women have particular concerns, questions and potentially fears.

4. What should a church culture express to a fallen world? In other words, if you desire a diverse church, there must be a diverse culture. What does that look like? Are the black people being affected by this seen as intricate in determining what it looks like?

5. I recently watched a recording of Leonce Crump II, lead pastor at Renovation Church in downtown Atlanta, give a talk on race. He challenged us to embrace the idea of the "new ethnics." His basic argument is that in Christ we are all the same. Yet, he also expresses he is not urging everyone to assimilate. We are the same in personhood; yet, we are different. If we are to worship together, we should speak about these differences. We should explore what churches should be teaching parishioners about race.

Even as I type out these topic ideas and suggestions, I get excited. From the countless emails, texts, and messages I received about a need for these to be discussed, I imagine there will be people eager to engage, eager to learn, eager to know how to serve one another more effectively. Making this a priority will only further lead to greater understanding and reconciliation among congregants.

But why is this important?

The Bible warns against partiality. James lays it out pretty clearly: "If you really fulfill the royal law according to the Scripture, "You shall love your neighbor as yourself," you are doing well. But if you show partiality, you are committing sin and are convicted by the law as transgressors" (2:8-9, ESV). Let me reiterate that many people may be clearly unaware that partiality toward our own "kind" is a temptation. If this is the case, perhaps, God is revealing something now. We are to treat everyone with equal dignity and care.

Another simple reason why discussing this topic is important is because we are the body of Christ, and as such, each member plays an important role. If one member of the body (or an entire group) feels alienated or uncared for, we ought to be eager to know how to address it. We can't know if we don't explore, investigate and dig deeper into the hearts of those around us.

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Maybe soon my next conversations with black women who are tempted or struggling will look differently. Maybe when I speak with the lady struggling with fear that she will never marry because she is unsure if her white brother in Christ could like her; or with the black woman who is fighting against selfish ambition, submitting to her new husband and a desire to please her parents; or perhaps, with the lady who has been called a "sell-out" or "a white girl"—of course I would say to my friend, "God has all you need in his Word, so run there, sit there, and soak in his Word for you." But one day, just maybe, I'll also be able to say, "Here are some resources to help you navigate your experience. You are not alone."

Trillia Newbell is a freelance journalist and writer. She writes on faith and family for The Knoxville News-Sentinel, and serves as managing editor for Women of God Magazine. Her love and primary role is that of a wife and mother. She lives in Tennessee with her husband, Thern, and their two children, Weston and Sydney.

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