My Family's Falling Apart

My Family's Falling Apart

I'm scared and need help. What can I do?
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Q. My dad has never been the same since his father, mother, and brother died over 10 years ago. His temper became worse, he's verbally abusive, and now my mom says she doesn't love him anymore. She's going through changes of her own, drastic emotional ups and downs. I'm very scared and need help. What can I do?

A. What you can't do is solve your parents' problems. Both of them are dealing with issues that are beyond your control. The problem is that their issues are also affecting you. I would encourage you to find the support you need from outside your family. Is there someone, possibly even a group of people, from your church who can come alongside you? Don't wait for people to come to you; find people who can support you through these difficult times.

Although times are difficult right now, try not to be too discouraged. The good news in the midst of your parents' problems is that others have gone through these kinds of crummy situations and many have received the help needed to handle their pain in a positive manner. This doesn't mean your problems—or your parents' problems—will go away, but with the right kind of support you can make it through this season of your life and not have the same problems your parents have in their marriage.

I know one high school friend who had a very similar situation to you. She went to her pastor and got the support she needed to stay strong through her parents' problems. As her parents watched their daughter gain strength from God and the church, they also decided to seek help from the pastor. Today the entire family is in church leadership and doing well. Pray for your parents and get the help you need.

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