I Wish I Had Waited
The Gift of Mercy
I talked to my parents one night and told them the truth about the things I'd done. I cried. I asked their forgiveness.
My mom said she had known all along; she gave me a hug, and she cried as well. And I'll never forget my dad's face—so twisted full of pain. But as time's gone on, that face has softened; my dad loves me, and he has forgiven me too.
Mercy is an incredible gift.
I struggle daily with guilt, and with feelings I wish I didn't have. I wonder if there's going to be a Christian man who will love me and marry me one day, even with the mistakes I've made. That's the worst fear of all.
And even though I know God has forgiven me, I struggle to forgive myself. Thoughts like that hurt. But I believe God has a plan for me. He will protect me and give me the strength I need to live for him and to wait for marriage. I pray for it every day, and, day by day, his grace comes to help.
I'm waiting for marriage because I've known the pain that comes from disobedience to God. Sex outside of marriage isn't what he intended, and it causes feelings that cut deeply, to the very soul of a person.
I'm waiting because I know God has someone in mind for me as a partner one day, if it's his will that I should marry. I'm waiting because I want what I will share with that person to be special. And I'm waiting because I know that through God's strength, I can.
If you can relate to this story, please check out Can You Become a Virgin Again?
*All names have been changed.